Richard Treis (the white one) and Robert “Biz” Swinney (the black one)
Heartwarming news from the American heartland: A member of Aryan Nations from the backwoods and a black gangsta from the inner city have been arrested and charged with joining forces to distribute meth in Missouri!
Richard “Nice Eyeball, Dude” Treis, 38, is the white half of this “meth-making odd couple” and is apparently from somewhere in Winter’s Bone country. He’s a member of the oft-maligned and frequently misunderstood Aryan Nations Pipe-Smoking Society and Scooter Club. His alleged accomplice, Robert “Biz” Swinney, 22, is identified as a “gang member,” but we wish they’d specified whether it was the red one or the blue one. But since “the blacks” don’t usually do meth, “Biz” may go down in history as the Rosa Parks of Meth.
Like all great romantic couples, they met at a halfway house in St. Louis. They put aside their racial and regional differences and, according to the fuzz, conspired to convert pseudoephedrine into meth.
Sure, it took a half-black president to make it happen, but the meth community has been all-white for far too long. We’re glad to see the walls come a-fallin’ down and hope for the day when a man is not judged by the color of his skin, but by the quality of his 20-bags.