Posted by
Arv
• 06.25.09 11:42 pm


Besides abortion, gay marriage and Asian pussy vs. Latina pussy, the only issue that instantly polarizes a room is Michael Jackson.

Besides abortion, gay marriage and Asian pussy vs. Latina pussy, the only issue that instantly polarizes a room is Michael Jackson. That’s why earlier today at work when it was announced over the radio that M.J. might be dead, I knew shit was going to be interesting.

“Na, na, that ain’t possible.”

“Yo whateva, that nigga has sex with kids. Fuck ‘em.”

“Dude, that shit ain’t even proven.”

“Would you let your kid chill with him?”

“Na, I didn’t say that–I’m just saying…Why they gotta play ‘Rock with You’ right now? Fuck… I’m not going to cry…”

Now I’m sure that Blognigger is going to have a word about this, what with Michael Jackson being black for at least half his life and all, but I feel like I’m qualified to talk about this because brown people FUCKING LOVE Michael Jackson. If you venture out to the most remote Indian village the people might not know Barack Obama, but they sure as hell will know Michael Jackson. Shit, you’ll probably find someone named Michael Jackson Shreekumindanar. Need further proof? Benny Lava. When was the last time a black person embarrassed his/herself and entire race so thoroughly for Michael?

Anyway, what my worked up coworkers failed to realize is that Michael Jackson’s been dead since 1993, specifically since the day he maybe/possibly/probably molested that little kid. After that his face started melting, skin started turning white and he just generally went insane. This is also when he started doing all that really crazy shit, like naming a kid “Blanket” and dangling him outside a four-story balcony.

Yeah, on that day in ’93 Michael Jackson died and was replaced by a bat-shit crazy, possibly extraterrestrial, suspected pedophile. The problem was no one realized it then so they’re mourning it now. So listen here angry black kids at my job: you’re both right. Michael Jackson was fucking awesome and it sucks that he died, however long ago that was; also, the world’s little boys are certainly safer now without that questionable, pasty-faced alien that collapsed earlier today from acute cardiac arrest. Let the mourning/celebration commence.


-ARV
@ArvSux

P.S. Apparently Farrah Fawcett died today too. Sucks to be her.


Comments
  1. Yo, I heard it was food poisoning that got Michael.

  2. i was with a friend at a restaurant in india ,when the waiter noticed my friends elvis badge.this was the conversation..
    waiter ‘who is this? michael jackson?’
    my friend ‘no! it’s the king!’
    waiter ‘of england? ‘

  3. SHITCOCK says:

    “Michael Jackson Shreekumindanar” is probably the funniest thing I’ve read in months.

  4. Brian says:

    King of Pop? More like King of Heart Attacks.

    But seriously folks, the children are safe now.

  5. Krystal says:

    Al Sharpton said something about him being the Original Negro, or something like that. He just kept banging on about how black he was. And that he was more niggerish than Tiger Woods — which isn’t difficult to be.

  6. City Council says:

    They fucking LOVE MJ in Tamil Nadu (southern India, where this video is from). Weirdly, they seem to like early 90s “Scream” Michael Jackson best. No idea why.

  7. Daz76 says:

    I am, was, very close with Michael. I called him Fondue and he often referred to me in private as Book Shelf, mutual terms of endearment pause. Yes I did some enabling, guilty as charged, but I can assure you he never dangled a hooded infant out a window while making a menacing terror face as your drawing implies. I can assure you that was just a rumor, I was there when it didn’t happen.

  8. derka derka says:

    i heard he died choking on a 8 year old wiener.

  9. omg sooo randum says:

    Im not that surprised, he had been looking a bit pale lately..

  10. gagging nanny says:

    I’d be happy to let MJ rape every child in the world for one more song half as good as “Rock With You”.

  11. Europe (The Band) says:

    Dave Chappelle on MJ: http://tinyurl.com/cqrjt6

  12. Techcrown says:

    R.I.P King of Pop Michael Jackson
    May he rest in peace.
    We all are going to miss him.
    He’ll live in our hearts forever.

  13. white power says:

    annie are you okay?
    will you tell us that you’re okay?

    there’s a sign in the window
    that he struck you, a crescendo annie

    he came into your apartment

    he left a bloodstain on the carpet
    then you ran into the bedroom

    you were struck down
    it was your doom

    r.i.p. king of pop…

  14. ZLUR says:

    Wasnt MJ famous in the 80′s?

    Who REALLY gis a fuck?

    Come on people!

  15. Michael Jackson Shreekumindanar says:

    I’m not dead yet.

  16. Anonymous says:

    @ZLUR

    I LIKED FARRAH FAUCETS NIPPLES THEY SHOULD MAKE A MOVIE ABOUT HER JUST LIKE WALK THE LINE BUT WITH CHARLIES ANGELS INSTEAD OF COUNTRY MUSIC

  17. M. el says:

    Today and this weekend are going to kick total ass.. Has anyone flipped on the TV. He’s taken over every channel. VH1 and MTV are playing non-stop Michael all day and I’m sure it’ll be all weekend. YES! I recommend having a bender this weekend and cramming your brain full of Michael. Download the video game too while your at it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lF89npFbn8g

  18. Tina says:

    It really scares me, how impious people can act, just because they feel anonymous…

    Write silly blogs/make grose comments about someone who recently DIED?

    Have you no other possibility to express yourself………….or a life?
    I feel sorry for you, having no idea what “ethic” is…

  19. dis guy says:

    There are two old men in the food court next to me having an argument about MJ. One contends that he is a ‘weirdo’ and the other thinks the government was behind everything.

  20. Da Truf says:

    Of course he was black. Forget the skin color. White people can neither sing nor dance like he did.

  21. french guy says:

    tina, i gather you’re new here, welcome! ahaha!

  22. Zippy says:

    I always hoped Michael would do a cover version of “Macho Man”. I guess that dream is dead.

  23. Anonymous says:

    right on. good post.

  24. King Of Poop says:

    Hey, at least I’m still alive!

  25. Dork says:

    I don’t think that Michael died so much as he just decided to be Latoya full time.

  26. Val says:

    Arv for Prezzidaaant! Bravo on the post-o.

    Tina, suck a cock with it.

  27. @Tina says:

    Are you lost?

  28. hagenshape says:

    Everyone knows that when Jackasso dangled that kid he was reviving an ancient african tradition of presenting the new child to the tribe. Haven’t you fags seen “The Lion King”? Duh

  29. Ew kids on the block says:

    my dad thinks he’s just faking his death cuz he was in a lot of debt/he didn’t want to do that concert thing.

  30. kuntz says:

    “ethic” hahahaa fuck off you silly twat. defending someone you never met is just as silly as making fun of the guy, so get over it you whiny douchebag.

  31. frenchy says:

    as far as i am aware “farah faucet” is neither a gay porn name nor a drag queen name yet

  32. dango says:

    soon hes gonna look like tha corpse from the thriller video….no makeup

  33. sally says:

    u sad fucks,,,,leave him alone

  34. sally says:

    well kuntz,ur a dick head

  35. Rilene says:

    You ppl have no respect at all michael Jackson was a good man and did alot for everyone he never hurt anyone let alone children!! he was proven innocent of all charges! Maybe you should read up on the skin condition that he had that made him lose all pigmintation in his skin!!! If it wasn’t for Michael Jackson you ALL WOULD BE NOTHING!!!! R.I.P Michael we all love you! Now your free no oone can hurt you anymore!!!

  36. Baby Jackson says:

    You know it’s a shame people have no respect for eatch other if they did they wouldnt be writing mess as this about Michael Jackson, you dont know anything about Michael like I dont. Michael is not dead and if he was it would be the same with no respect for him. One day some body might say the same thing about you sucking little boys d–ks and all that crazy mess. No matter what you say about Michael Jackson people going to believe in him and still love him. The more you fools talk about him the more people going to love him. We love our king of pop.

  37. K says:

    Hello for one thing Mike is alive and for whoever said rot in hell can do just that cause he is the nicest and kindest person ever and he is still sad about what you say you fuckin quere. Mike is not gay nor does he want to be white or has ever touched kids. I know shit you wouldn’t believe and if you wanna say this stuff you’re gonna burn in hell for all eternity but I hope God has mercy on your soul. Michael said he went into hiding to get away from lies and speaking of lies I am not lying or why the hell would I take my precious time to write this to u fuckers. Listen MJ loves his fans but you he could sue but he won’t because he is nice though my lawyers work for Barack now mabey I should sue cause then again I can do whatever the hell I want. Please feel free to email me at sharondhws@yahoo.com and I mean the fans not you fuckers. I know a lot about it even a phone number but if I say to much then I will get in trouble. So anyway you people who wrote this well Your mother is a bitch and I screwed her and now she is a hoe. Also Michael is so sex craved for women he wants to fuck em so much. I want you to get hurt and die painfully and also I your grandpa was a fuckwad and I know if MJ heard me saying this then he would be sad but he still doesn’t like you cocksuckers so go hump a pig you fucks.

  38. K says:

    I could do something to you and your website but I have to get permision. So you better be careful and take this BS off here.

  39. K says:

    You must have taken the last one off but I might do something to your website. FUCK YOU!

  40. K says:

    Now I know. You guys thought Mike is gay because you want a hard fuck well too bad he isn’t. Go ahead and keep fuckin yourselves up the ass no I mean really didn’t your daddy shove his 2 inch dick up your small ass. Now that I think of it wasn’t your mom a transvestite or is that your dad who knows hee, hee. Anyway the point is yo momma is dead right or is she still fuckin the Zeta-Reticuli with her cock. Mabey you need to go fuck your little gay son or mabey it’s your daughter who was the transvestite I guess the world may never know hmm…. GO FUCK YA SELF!

  41. Anonymous says:

    Now I know. You guys thought Mike is gay because you want a hard fuck well too bad he isn’t. Go ahead and keep fuckin yourselves up the ass no I mean really didn’t your daddy shove his 2 inch dick up your small ass. Now that I think of it wasn’t your mom a transvestite or is that your dad who knows hee, hee. Anyway the point is yo momma is dead right or is she still fuckin the Zeta-Reticuli with her cock. Mabey you need to go fuck your little gay son or mabey it’s your daughter who was the transvestite I guess the world may never know hmm…. GO FUCK YA SELF! DIE TOO!


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