Posted by
Julius T. Leisure
• 11.10.11 10:00 am


So Ann Coulter said, “Our blacks are so much better than their blacks.” OK, where’s the controversy?

People are beating up on poor old Ann Coulter because she voiced an opinion. In America. In 2011. Ann Coulter said, “Our blacks are so much better than their blacks.” OK, where’s the controversy? Every group will claim their fringe members are so much better than other group’s mopes and retards. This is human nature. And in Ms. Coulter’s case, it’s specifically politicized controversy-baiting. Who cares that she likes her blacks better than Al Sharpton or Waka Flocka. Where is the controversy?

“The culture’s changing… this shit is getting hip, this shit is getting blacker, this shit is getting fucking rappier… I didn’t want to be in an environment where I didn’t have to really translate the shit I wanted to do.”
-Chris Rock on leaving SNL for In Living Color

American culture has pretty much moved past black versus white, and, in most cases, we have also moved past gay versus straight and man versus woman. The differences we bicker over now are extraordinarily nuanced, such as which blacks are best, which gays are best and which phone carrier is best. If we’re at the point in American history were we’re picking among blacks rather than excluding them from the conversation altogether, then racism is pretty much dead, right?

Let’s go elbow deep like Ann Coulter. Let us all pick our blacks and so we can say, “No, Ann Coulter! My blacks are better than your blacks!”

MY BLACKS
Starters
Donald Glover – The future of American entertainment
Malcolm Gladwell – Ninja spy passing through gradients of monochrome.
Tyler Okonma – Not afraid to be buck ass wild up in the motherfucka!
Rep. Barbara Lee – Fearless
Jonathan Capehart – Brawn and brains

Subs
Cornel West – Better friend than foe
Landry Fields – Stanford graduate, doye
Kanye West – “George Bush doesn’t care about black people.”
Barry Bonds – He hit more home runs than anyone else, so suck it, haters

BLACKS ANN COULTER CAN DEFINITELY HAVE
Niger Innis
Tyler Perry
Alan West
Tiger Woods
Bill Clinton
Marion Barry
Barack Obama
All of The Jacksons (including Samuel L.)
Condoleezza Rice

So, who are your blacks?

-JULIUS T. LEISURE
@JuliusTLeisure


Comments
  1. miss appalachian says:

    Somebody reads Jewish World Review. Tom Sowell. How are you going to leaving out Tom Sowell? xoxo

  2. Anonymous says:

    What?! We’re keeping Samuel L and (black) Michael Jackson!

  3. Kobe Bryant says:

    Crack dealers from Staten Island

  4. Anonymous says:

    This concept’s already been done.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUSAoXlS2YE

  5. Dang, Mang says:

    It might be that I am so racially superior that color carries no distinction… But Malcolm Gladwell, dude is black?

  6. Obama says:

    What’s the point of this post?

  7. asshole confit says:

    sure as hell not you

  8. WELL ‘BLACK FRIDAY’ IS COMING UP, YOU CAN ALLWAYS GET SOME GOOD DEAL’S. WELL DID YOU EVERY NOTICE THE IRONICAL THING ABOTU THE STORE KNOW AS ‘BEST BUY’ IS THAT LITTERALLY ITS NOT THE BEST BUY LOL

  9. nrrrd says:

    What is this crap? I don’t even know what you’re talking about.

    I subscribe to the “blacks have a short time horizon” theory. This is because they are from the jungle. They’re better at seizing the day which makes them more entertaining. Whites are drawn to their cheap thrill appeal.

    Hence, blacks may begin to dominate the figurehead position in politics (kind of like white quarterbacks in the NFL), because it’s basically a form of entertainment. I’d rather see Chris Rock debate Weezy than Mit Romney debate Bill Clinton.

    The problem with this is that blacks are generally short sighted fools. If I was a sociology student, I would say: blacks microevolve so quickly that they never manage to actually macroevolve. That’s why the FBI doesn’t take “black organized crime” too seriously. It never really gets that organized.

    So in the future we will either have black presidents 90% of the time or 0% of the time. Never 10% of the time. I’d prefer it if Ann Coulter were president, but she’s too smart to take such a shitty job.

  10. FaceHeadAss says:

    I like Neil DeGrasse Tyson and Mac Dre.

  11. Hugh Johnson says:

    Ann Coulter needs my penis buried in her ass.

  12. Uncle Wah Wah says:

    I’m not too politically involved so, why is Ann Coulter standing next to Jimmy “Dy-no-mite” Walker in this photo? She gonna be the “white crack whore” in a new “Good Times” version?

  13. Michael Jackson's Corpse says:

    I got that funky skin thing. I can play on the white team and the black team.

    WHAT? STILL fucking too soon?

    The trial is finished, get over it man.

  14. blaahus poopus says:

    Chuck D and Steve Erkel.

  15. Todd says:

    jsyk i think we’re supposed to call them “afro-americans”

  16. this was says:

    the last straw, sbtvc. you guys are so racist, it’s unbelievable.

  17. Newsflash says:

    sir starr already has condy

  18. Steve Harvey says:

    I think this was too subtle

  19. Dork says:

    Bill Clinton. Hilarious.

  20. Anonymous says:

    Hank Aaron over Barry Bonds. Vybz Cartel was a starter before he started bleaching.

  21. jason says:

    this is so on target. you should find the biggest black guy you can find and tell him he’s one of “your blacks…” and then explain how everything is “post-racial” etc.

    that’ll be a hoot!

  22. tinko puncherface says:

    i wonder when people are going to stop talking about this kind of crap and just move on to something, anything else. black white gay straight who fucking cares? we’re all pink on the inside. race is retarded.

  23. Gavin says:

    I can’t believe people at MSNBC mocked Ann for thinking we still owned blacks. Er, she’s seen the news. She heard slavery was abolished. It’s called having the language at your disposal and speaking in an entertaining and provocative way. She meant blacks belong to her about as much as a coach thinks his players belong to him when he says, “Our guys kicked but this year.”

    I also happen to believe she’s right. Conservative blacks have to go through so much shit, the ones who can last, tend to be tougher, smarter, and generally better than blacks who parrot the same old crap every other black person does. Similarly, young females who aren’t knee jerk liberals are better than your typical college lefty because the former is put through the ringer every day of her life. Practice makes perfect and a young conservative women in a liberal arts college has her arguments down to a science.

    I don’t classify myself as conservative but I know a lot of them here in NY and they are way better than midwestern conservatives. To be non-right in NYC is like being a communist during McCarthyism. They are used to getting yelled at and having to justify every thing they say, every day, all day.

    That which does not kill me makes me stronger and I’d be willing to wager gays in upstate NY are better than gays in San Francsisco. In that sense, our gays are better than their gays. The list goes on…

  24. Gary says:

    Conrad Black

  25. Zippy says:

    Ann has a big black dildo. Calls it her “pump daddy”.

  26. As I see it, Ann Coulter’s underlying paradigm is as progressive and future-thinking as we’ve seen in modern debate. She’s dropping righteous dopeness and the tree-hugging “love one-love all” liberals are calling her “uninformed” and “racist.” Ann Coulter has a pretty solid grip on modern culture and social interactions. But my blacks are cooler.

  27. heroin town says:

    Michael Jordan (fucking duh)
    Scarface (midget one, not that faggot Pacino one)
    Justin Bieber
    Chad Ochocinco for this interview http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dgNREzBAnY4
    Bushwick Bill
    Zoe Saldana
    Freida Pinto
    Rosario Dawson

  28. Katrick Pay says:

    @ Gavin: it’s “put through the wringer”.

  29. Preck fan says:

    Best ty post ever

  30. Wombraider says:

    That Chris Rock quote is from the Marc Maron WTF podcast. Fucking love that guy.

  31. alex says:

    Our blacks are better than their afro-americans.

  32. Dantron says:

    This post introduced me to some really awesome black people! Thanks!

  33. guy who doesn't wipe his ass says:

    my crack is blacker than your crack


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