Posted by
Street Carnage
• 04.06.12 11:00 am

This is a picture of Dylan Edward Contreras, who, when he was arrested Saturday morning by police in Twin Falls, ID, told them that his name was “Emiliano Velesco.”

Nice fake Spanish name, dude. We aren’t even Latinos, but even we could come up with a better fake Spanish name than that. “Uh, no, officer, mi nombre es Tico Velasquez.” Or “Esteban Vasconcellos.” Or “Chico Trevino.” But Emiliano Velesco? Dude, you’re sooooooo busted!

Suspicious because of the ridiculous fake name, police noticed a tattoo on Contreras’s left forearm. The tattoo contained the word “Contreras.” The picture above is from Facebook and is a little blurry, so we magnified it a bit:


…no, still not seeing anything. Let’s amp it up to maximum zoom:

POW! ZAP! BOOM! It undeniably says “Contreras.” The teenager was arrested on outstanding warrants for underage drinking as well as previously providing false information.

If this legume-brain had gotten “Tico Velasquez” tattooed on his forearm like we suggested, this never would have happened.


  1. Ben says:

    My old roommate actually got busted by the cops for this exact same thing. He’s from Arkansas and went back there for Christmas a few years ago. His buddy, a former small time weed dealer, was now selling the shit by the trunkload. He asked my roommate if he wanted to go with him on sale. Not being a pussy, he agreed.

    Turns out the cops were watching the whole thing on long distance surveillance. I’m not sure why they didn’t bust them on the spot, probably because Arkansas has weird laws. Anyway, the cops got a picture of his forearm, which is tattooed with his last name.

    The punchline? His last name is “Gutierrez.”

    Dude had to go to an Arkansas prison for like three months.

  2. emo jody says:

    ^ “I’m not sure why they didn’t bust him on the spot…”

    it was a CI you clown

  3. Sniffy says:

    What a beaner. Not very bright are they?

  4. DR says:

    A warrant for underage drinking?

  5. tio pepe says:

    Underage drinking … DAMN SON

  6. mother teresa says:

    Fuck this was lame

  7. Zippy says:

    I tried to talk a girl into tatting “Insert Coins here” as a tramp stamp.

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