This is a picture of Dylan Edward Contreras, who, when he was arrested Saturday morning by police in Twin Falls, ID, told them that his name was “Emiliano Velesco.”
Nice fake Spanish name, dude. We aren’t even Latinos, but even we could come up with a better fake Spanish name than that. “Uh, no, officer, mi nombre es Tico Velasquez.” Or “Esteban Vasconcellos.” Or “Chico Trevino.” But Emiliano Velesco? Dude, you’re sooooooo busted!
Suspicious because of the ridiculous fake name, police noticed a tattoo on Contreras’s left forearm. The tattoo contained the word “Contreras.” The picture above is from Facebook and is a little blurry, so we magnified it a bit:
…no, still not seeing anything. Let’s amp it up to maximum zoom:
POW! ZAP! BOOM! It undeniably says “Contreras.” The teenager was arrested on outstanding warrants for underage drinking as well as previously providing false information.
If this legume-brain had gotten “Tico Velasquez” tattooed on his forearm like we suggested, this never would have happened.