READER SUBMITTED CONTENT In New York, life gets a little wild for just about everyone during the summer months. For me, getting wasted and bringing shitty dudes home…
In New York, life gets a little wild for just about everyone during the summer months. For me, getting wasted and bringing shitty dudes home was a joyous equivalent to cooling off by jumping around in the spray of an open fire hydrant with neighborhood kids. The hot asphalt on a street corner was my bed, and the refreshing water was my shower of shame, regret, and delirium tremens. Being a reckless retard is pretty easy when you excuse it with “heeey fuck it, it’s summer!” and when I think about my last few years in the city I have a hard time believing my vagina didn’t just up and quit on me. I guess a few times, it almost did.
The warm weather hadn’t really even hit yet when I took this dude home from a friend’s party. Having probably guzzled, sniffed, and smoked anything I could get my hands on that night, the hook up was pretty sloppy from what I could remember, but my foggy memory of the night did include one exciting thing: His. dick. was. huge. I’m talking 99 cent can of Arizona Ice Tea huge. God had biggie sized his combo, and then some. A few weekends went by and I finally convinced the dude to come to my place to drink on my roof to admire the view of Manhattan (and my tits).
At some point in the night, mid-beej, he accused me of toothing on his monster dong and instead of apologizing, I got indignant as fuck, placing the blame fully on him because how DARE he have a dick that big. This, of course, ended up being the perfect set up for severe session of body mangling hate-fucking. After he left the next morning, I went to take a wee little tinkle, only to realize that his Arizona can had not been too kind to my poor labe. Wiping was excruciating, sitting was out of the question, and any sudden movement sent sharp pain ricocheting through my entire crotchal area. Still half wasted, I decided to find relief in the freezer and filled a ziplock bag with ice cubes and cooled that pussy down. Three hours later, I woke up in a puddle of freezing water, my hand still pressing a crumpled, empty sandwich bag between my legs.