Posted by
• 10.02.09 10:00 am

My name is Alexi Wasser. I am another person with bangs, in the world, and on the interweb with a fucking blog.

My name is Alexi Wasser. I am another person with bangs, in the world, and on the interweb with a fucking blog. I hated blogs, but then I got jealous, annoyed, and confused when I would hear other people talking about THEIR blogs, so on Thanksgiving Day of 2008, I started I describe it as a pep talk, in the form of a slap in the face, in the form of a blog. My three goals are to either make you laugh, make you feel less alone, and/or inspire YOU to be the best version of yourself you can POSSIBLY be!

These short films I made show the tone of the site. Some of them are based on real things that have happened in my life, others are just from my imagination — things that I’ll probably experience at some point in the near future.

I love you.


  1. streetbummers says:


  2. streetbummers says:

    Street Carnage is the new MTV. It’s either celebrating or mocking the stupidest people they can find. Not much else.

  3. Bebop says:

    ICK! This girl’s junk always wrecks my day for a minute. The videos and blog make me illogically upset. So stupid, boring, trite and unfunny and always in my face on street carny

  4. ninjatoe says:

    everything about her is “almost.”

  5. Street Boning says:


    You’re dreamy!


  6. queef'n sourthernland says:

    This is what happens when nice pretty American gals watch too much anime marketed towards preteens. The actual Jap kind. Where all the preteens are doin’ it.

  7. Fucko says:

    Really REALLY good-looking, but if there were a thought balloon over her head it would read, “lookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatme”, ad infinitum. Which, needless to say, is a turn off. The self-involvement nullifies the looks. On balance, she cancels herself out.

  8. JuCIFER says:

    Everybody is fucking uninteresting STAR…

  9. nope says:

    Aren’t you in a commercial for Bing (

    PS: You look old as hell in it. How’s that for a slap in the face.

  10. Erik Kolacek says:

    Ok look.

    You’re clearly quite attractive. You are also smart, funny and extremely creative. With that said, “Bikini Mishap” bugged the living shit out of me.

    First…even my 16 year-old butch dyke sister knows not to do that with scissors. I mean, come on….really?

    Second…WTF man? I eat at that restaurant regularly. Please rename it “Accidental Clitorectomy” or put a warning below the video.

    Third: if a girl who looks as hot as you really has this many problems with guys…I’m sorry, but you must be the most annoying bitch who ever lived. Most of my handsome, nice guy friends here in San Francisco would be begging you for dates.

    Things about your site just not add up, so please…either admit it’s a fictional, anti-male diatribe or quit giving every girl in town an excuse to hate on every man who ever lived because some guy broke up with her or wouldn’t toss her salad.

    Anyways, thanks.

    I’m sure I’ll be receiving “fuck you” messages from several women I know.


  11. Lily Allen says:

    The poor man’s Zooey Deschanel

  12. Drippy dog dix and cum bubbles or something says:

    Congratulations on the commercial. Having trouble with women Nope, you’re awfully angry? So sorry.

    I watched two of these. The first scenario doesn’t make a ton of sense to me. Is that dude into cream pies or something? Finding out some other guy just finished blowing a load in you seals the deal? No thanks.

  13. Utter Slag says:

    Whatevs. There’s a nifty invention out there that’s kinda revolutionized the world. Maybe you’ve heard of it? It’s called a BEARD TRIMMER, and there’s a super-duper good reason why mine has more pubes stuck in it than facial hair. k?

  14. Vane$$a says:

    I like how in the first few lines of her blog she admits to possessing a “severe need to be liked,” yet at the same time she’s posting her soul on this site. Now that’s comedy.

  15. village pecker says:

    “Lily Allen”: Wrong. the Poor Man’s Zooey Deschanel is Lizzy Caplan… Who, to me anyway, is quasars hotter than collectable doll Zooey Deschanel.

    hey Wasser, i’m gonna be nice and give all these shitty twats above my permission to blow it out their ass. You’re a fox. Show us more, because of course we’re watching.

  16. 666 says:

    old news. this was in foam this summer

  17. homeless. says:

    you have fantastic new york tits.

  18. Cunty Baws says:

    I know that these videos don’t necessarily have to be imitating reality or anything, but the first video, with this Alexi chick running out of the shop to talk to the guy with the goofy-looking face, is just absurd. What self-respecting hot chick would ever do that? What goofy-looking guy would ever hesitate when asked by a hot chick to give her his number? Whata complete load of absolute wank.

  19. horsewife says:

    alexi has eyes like wasted push-ups boy. i predict a $280 a day habit.

  20. Cunty Baws says:

    “alexi has eyes like wasted push-ups boy. i predict a $280 a day habit.”

    Nah, she just uses a pinkish-brown shade of mascara in an attempt to make herself LOOK as if she’s on skag. I thought the whole heroin-chic fad went out years ago.

  21. go away says:

    ok, ok, you have a fucking blog!! how many times do you need to send your stupid shit to this website? okay, you think you’re really cute. and yes, you’re as cute as half of the girls in los angeles. congratulations. jesus christ, how much validation does one person need?

  22. shadowy figure says:

    Alexi you are a dreamy fox. (Who wants Zooey or Lily Allen anyway?) But, if you love me, make me feel less alone by taking me to dinner.

  23. Eddy 209 says:

    Good job and better than that.

  24. Kid Douche says:

    village pecker is spot on about Lizzy Caplan.

    I used to read Alexi’s blog every once in awhile, until I realized it was a shrill nag-fest about how to make people like you, written by an insecure, vainglorious woman who attempts and fails at being the Larry David of female sexual awkwardness.

  25. Stop it losers! says:

    I love Alexi! She’s the sweetest funniest free-est and funnest girl to hang with. And her blog is on some new feminism shit. It’s all about having fun and being free. You guys are so weirdly obsessive. Now go back to masturbating to her videos. ASSHOLES!

  26. Drippy dog dix and cum bubbles or something says:

    @stop it losers!: Ha, rose-tinted glasses look good on you!

  27. ew says:

    @ unknown nobody : high-larious!! also, uncanny true dat .

  28. ew says:

    her blog isn’t feminism. don’t start throwing that word around. it’s just some girl trying really hard to convince herself how important she is.

    and quit commenting with my name, asshole.

  29. Niggy Smallz says:

    damn…who cares. shes really boring and regular

  30. Just Ben says:

    I actually don’t mind this bird, and I easily become chauvinistic toward certain women seeking the spotlight. She seems sweet, and genuine. I would probably try to fell her if we ran into each other one night.

  31. Ted Danson says:

    If she could write, this might be as good as, say, a number of other blogs of the same type. As it stands? I’m irritated by her lack of talent and disproportionate ego.

  32. babz says:

    who the fuck measures their thighs?

  33. Mike E says:

    I bet you’ll just keep on posting comments though won’t you, Street Bummers. Like I’ve said before… I hate MTV, so I don’t watch it. I suggest you find a new hobby.

  34. real ew says:

    Go suck a bucket of cocks, fake ew @ 4:29. How dare u accuse me of imposter-ism! me n the screen name ew have been anonymously hating for over a fuckin year!! ( its our paper anniversary!)

  35. no. thanks. says:

    please god, help me understand why I am irked by all of this.

  36. Cutie Pie says:

    Sure, ok, your first paragraph is honest, cute and a little messed up. I like it. But try to make this feature a little more than a copy/paste of your blog. I feel like your infomercials are being drilled into my head. Let’s see what else you’ve got -another asshole with a blog

  37. ??? says:

    I’m having deja vous. Didn’t you guys tried to push this chick on us before? Wasn’t buying it then… still not.

  38. And yet Smut Cave goes virtually unnoticed…

  39. Mick says:


    nah she’s cute, and her videos are mildly amusing. Stop hatin man! Then again I suppose SBTVC has gotta have at least 80% comment hatred or it would slowly implode

  40. Chief says:

    luv u alexi <333

  41. ehhh says:

    fucking over-sharers

  42. camera says:

    a canon 5d was misused for this.

  43. Uncle Joey says:

    Hey Alexi, I just wanted to touch base on my marriage proposal. The offer stands but we really need to have a sit down and chit chat about pre nups. Love you baby.

    P.S. Sorry about the HPV but hey, it’s gotta come from somebody right?

  44. Mexican Pizza says:

    I’ll buy that she’s crazy, but I bet she was that way before boys.

  45. !!!! says:


  46. i hate naggers says:

    what are you, some kind of chinaman?

  47. a4awesome says:

    Everyone knows that if you post, you will get hate. It’s just a way of life.

    The scissors made me shudder. How do you NOT have a bikini trimmer?!

  48. Cunty Baws says:

    Of course, some posters invite more hate than others…

  49. todd says:

    God DAMMIT she sucks!!!

  50. Annie says:

    Man I love her site, it is like one big happy pep talk.

  51. mark "k-punk" fisher says:

    the only thing gayer than this broad’s vids is the homos complaining about em! :p

  52. poopsee says:

    jesus christ reading that blog makes me feel like my 14 year old sister’s best friend trying to tell me shit.

  53. You are proof that skinny pretty girls are almost always never entertaining. says:

    Video 1: You look like a girl that would drop the “Are we friends on Facebook?” line. How old are you?

    Video 2: Aiming to work at a bookstore? Reaching for the stars with that profession huh? An American Apparel store setting might be more fitting. The dialogue is also horrendous and far from funny. I’ve never seen an episode of Gossip Girls but I have a feeling that your writing wouldn’t be so different from that show.

    Video 3: Really bitch? You’re afraid to go outside of a house you want to leave because you’re afraid to get locked out? AND you have a fucking cellphone? Hello??? Anyone in there? Did you know that on the street are signs with its names on it and outside the house is a fucking number? Amazing !!!

    Video 4: You know who measures their thighs? Bitches with fucked eating disorders. This makes me feel a little bad for being mean to you but hey you’re from LA so that’s a social norm, right?
    With a face and body like yours you should stick to something where you don’t have to talk – like modeling.

  54. Anna says:

    her blog makes me want to kill myself. she’s not fucking interesting and GAVIN i am ashamed that you would even promote this balls site of hers. you’re really slipping……..

  55. I love this blog. The end.

  56. shameful says:

    Hey, who’s filming these and who’s paying for the production? I could do some better editing.

  57. flynn says:

    when does something happen?

  58. patrickteque says:

    i enjoyed the shorts.

  59. your mom says:

    Really shitty version of Miranda July. Am I right or am I right?

  60. ugh says:

    i just hope not too many young girls read that blog. ridiculous beyond belief. nothing about that girl seems authentic. she just seems like any other boring, vapid hipster. a dime a dozen.

  61. walkr says:

    great site, funny insight great videos with great production value.

    i’m sorry alexi for the people who talk shit, its easy to mock when your mom is making mac and cheese for dinner.

  62. Ashley says:

    Oh my God. You guys are SUCH assholes. She is super cute and I guarantee none of your pretentious asses could come up with something so awesome. Keep doing you thing, Girlfriend. You’re awesome. xo

  63. Amberella says:

    I have never read so much horse shit spewed by jealous wannabes. Do yourselves a favor and kill yourselves OR with all the energy you’re using to think of negative dribble, put it towards making something of your lives, like Miss Wasser is doing.

  64. ali says:

    she is extremely self involved…but i think thats ok because she admits it. Still, sometimes it gets annoying. But I find it fascinating to be allowed a peep into the mind of someone who working out her shit by addressing the anonymous blog-o-sphere. Interesting…if not occasionally eye roll inducing.

  65. phill robertson says:

    Alexi wasser is an annoying cunt. She never finished high school, and it shows in her insipid mindless rants. Shes 32 with the mind of a 12 year old.

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