READER SUBMITTED CONTENT About a week ago, a couple of friends of mine were riding their bikes around downtown L.A. when they discovered what can only be described as the Mt. Rushmore of Shit.
About a week ago, a couple of friends of mine were riding their bikes around downtown L.A. when they discovered what can only be described as the Mt. Rushmore of Shit. Really something to behold. My friend told me about it and insisted that I see it for myself. I love me a good poo sighting/diarrhea story, so it didn’t take much to get me to the location. (I was there within the hour.)
What stood before me were not one, but TWO, mounds of human poo so fucking tall that one came up just shy of my knee (if you include skid marks, which I always do). This shit wasn’t right. It wasn’t just the stench and visual, either. This poo-poo was actually affecting me emotionally. Why? Because this was obviously the ass-vomit of a homeless person with nowhere else to crap. And that is just heartbreakingly sad. I mean, I always thought that was what Starbucks was for.
Let’s think about this for a moment. Remember the last time you had a mean one coming like a runaway freight train and nowhere to go? And you almost shat yourself? That is the worst feeling in the world. Well, what if you NEVER had anywhere to go? What if outside, on a goddamn bridge where there is a non-stop flow of traffic, was your only option … ever? Fuck Darfur. The real genocide is happening right here in America, in the buttholes of our homeless.
There are poor souls out there having to poo in public, against walls, day after day, until we have what you see before you. That will slowly kill a man from the inside out. This must stop. EVERYONE deserves to shit indoors and wipe with (at least) two-ply toilet paper (four-ply would be more compassionate).
I don’t have the answers. All I’m saying is the next time you take a dump in a private bathroom, on a porcelain toilet, and wipe with some decent TP, be grateful and flush one down for the soldiers on the street who don’t have that luxury.