READER SUBMITTED CONTENT This isn’t some stupid early-twenties rant about living fast, dying young, and plucking the day while partying on a yacht made out of Cerebral Ballzies -– this is some stupid rant more along the lines of “there is no authority but yourself.”
This isn’t some stupid early-twenties rant about living fast, dying young, and plucking the day while partying on a yacht made out of Cerebral Ballzies -– this is some stupid rant more along the lines of “there is no authority but yourself.” Seeing that the last steaming pile of shit I mailed into Street Carnage was ultimately about quitting vice (pun intended?), I’m not going to go off about the importance of being a fat, disgusting, Glenn Beck of an alcoholic during one’s prime.
Choosing to be sober is difficult, personal, and very often alienating. There are enough benefits and drawbacks to make you think it’s a “one step forward and two back” type deal. It can harm your social life by driving away friends, but can put off jaundice another 10 years. Personally, I know nothing about sobriety, and I’m as yellow as a Simpsons character, but I do know that choosing to be sober is a choice. Nobody got into an existential car crash, with the only aid being AA jaws of life-ing his or her ass out of the car. The decision to clean up is made and maintained by the same degenerate who lost a bag of coke in his mom’s Volvo (four years ago this summer and still looks for it when drunk). It is one’s own self who stays sober and avoids terrible decisions, not some iced tea-loving smartypants who sponsors him or her.
And not to act all shit-dick Bill Maher about things, but are you seriously letting some fucking reptile in a church basement tell you you’re sick? Wait, you’re “powerless?” That would make sense if “duct tape” wasn’t one of the most popular Higher Powers for non-believers in the program (fact). So, if not your own desire, what keeps you sober? “Not God or anything, just the support from my friends.” That means you’re in control, and you use support from your friends. You do not need a cult, artard. (I used to have an ‘r-word’ addiction, but I pulled it together.)
Also, just to be clear, I’m not trashing teetotalers. It’s fine if you want to quit drinking altogether. The idea of turning a 180 sits well with me, and for many people, it may be their only hope. In fact, moderation is not always the best choice — I mean, do you really believe in Buddha? Buddha sucks. Some people might need to cut it out, period. But let’s stop being so bottom-line about things and realize that sobriety in and of itself isn’t necessarily good; people thirteenth-stepping so hard they look like they’re two-stepping shouldn’t be commended for anything.
These people perpetuate the permission slip for selfishness and flakiness that is “alcoholism.” This is not a fourth-grade bus trip, guy, this is adult life, and nothing can excuse shortcomings and laziness. Have you ever had to cover for somebody who had to go to a meeting? What the FUCK! If you say no, you might as well call them a cock-sucking, AIDS-drenched faggot whose parents are getting divorced because they don’t love him or her anymore. It’s such a precarious situation to be in, and the fact that they’re told that this is “OK,” that they’re “sick,” is enough to make me have a stroke.
I am sickened when I see a young person my age decide they have no control over their lives and enter this nightmare called AA. I’ve seen people I know go this way, and while I’m happy for / proud of them because they turned their lives around, it just seems incomplete. They can admit that they have a problem, but they don’t think they have the willpower and strength to do something they actually did on their own. It’s just another system, another prison for young people to fall prey to, and what makes it worse is that I know I’ll be torn apart for criticizing it.
-PETER W GLACKIN
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