Ever since the Jews won World War II, it’s been acceptable throughout the Western world to portray Germans as subhuman—which is, as luck would have it, the way that Germans used to depict Jews! How weird is that?!? Like they say, the winners write the history books—even the ones for kids!
Modern speech codes are as unflinchingly humorless as any other era’s speech codes. They are also ravenously totalitarian and intolerant of all dissent—one might even call them “fascistic.” It’s ironic, then, that they’re so hostile toward the bumbling Teutons who made the most epic fascist FAIL ever and got PWNED by the Allies. If the PC Speech Gestapo hates Nazis so much, why are they acting like them?
With such a gloomy climate for healthy expressions of good old-fashioned guilt-free and soul-cleansing hatred, it’s inevitable that you wind up with Uber-silly, snake-eating-its-own-tail cases such as this one in England, where a British man has been forbidden from taunting his German neighbors with Nazi salutes and Winston Churchill speeches. Of course, the fact that it’s England—where men sleep with Teddy Bears—made him turn around and claim victimhood himself.
Ever since his German (NAZI!) neighbors Reinhard (NAZI!) and Kathryn (NAZI!) Wendt (NAZIS!) moved in four years ago, proud Englishman Geoffrey Butler (BRITISH IMPERIALIST PIG!) allegedly started harassing them because they came from the Land of Sauerkraut. His alleged years of prolonged taunting reportedly included Sieg Heiling at them and blasting patriotic British songs such as “White Cliffs of Dover” and “Rule Britannia” at them. When accused of whistling the theme to the anti-German war film Dam Busters at the couple, Butler told the court in his defense that he is medically incapable of whistling. Butler claims he is falsely being “accused of Nazi abuse” and that it was in fact his Kraut neighbors who were harassing him by throwing chairs at him and calling him “big head.”
The way WWII is framed nowadays, you’d think the Germans were the only ones who killed anybody. But doesn’t the fact that they lost that war sort of prove that the Allies were better at killing? And historically, do the British really have room to talk? They sip their afternoon tea with bloody hands indeed. Wasn’t it only a hundred years ago that their pale skin stretched across the globe as they ruled the world through conquest and force?
Is it ever fair to reduce any ethnic group’s cultural history to nothing but butchery? Doesn’t that constitute “blood libel” on some level? Sure, the Germans (well, hate to get technical, but it was the Austrians) gave us Hitler, but didn’t they also give us Beethoven? No, they don’t produce many comedians, but didn’t they, like, invent a lot of stuff? Doesn’t every dark cloud have a silver lining? Can we at least cut them some slack for Kraftwerk alone?
In a world where we’re constantly being punched in the kidneys about how we’re supposed to see all people as people and to honor their inviolable peoplehood into perpetuity, shouldn’t this apply to everyone—even those filthy rat bastard Prussian warmongers? Isn’t it time we started viewing everyone as human, or is society by its nature incapable of making such small, sensible leaps?
Isn’t it a little racist to accuse Germans—or “white people,” or “Jews,” or “Canadians,” or “Arabs,” or “Eskimos,” or “skateboarders,” or anyone—of being uniquely disposed toward savagery and mob violence? Were those fluffy-headed young men in Depeche Mode wrong when they sang that “People Are People“?
Will the world always remain so primitively stupid and in need of easy scapegoats? Are we ever going to advance to the point where we truly see all people as people, or is that just a bullshit fantasy? Can any society exist without targeting an “other” and making a doo-doo on it?
German civilian victims of the Allied bombing at Dresden. I know, I know—their lives don’t count, even if many Germans were held in concentration camps after the war.