Posted by
Jim Goad
• 10.12.10 01:08 pm


Let us now praise men who drive trucks and suck cock. We take a moment to reflect on their trials and triumphs, their rough ’n’ tender lovemaking, and the sense of poignance and dignified rage they bring to every waking action, whether it’s changing each other’s tire rims or giving each other rim jobs.

Let us now praise men who drive trucks and suck cock. We take a moment to reflect on their trials and triumphs, their rough ’n’ tender lovemaking, and the sense of poignance and dignified rage they bring to every waking action, whether it’s changing each other’s tire rims or giving each other rim jobs. Many trucker fags…most, perhaps…aren’t in denial at all. Many of them are so proud of their lifestyle that they exhibitionistically produce books and films about it. They host websites and discussion boards devoted to unabashed trucker-faggin’. In one extreme case—the Gay Truckers Association—they’ve even founded a fancy legal organization which lobbies on behalf of the Trucker Fag Nation.

The trucker has been a perennial gay archetype along with Village People-style macho icons such as The Cop and The Construction Worker. Gay literature abounds with titles such as Raunchy Truckers, White Trash Truckers, Hard Dirty Truckers, Truck Me Harder, Truckstop Trash, Truckers and Suckers, and Truckin’, Suckin’, Fuckin’. An online fiction story called “Trucker Jack Meets Jeremiah” contains this tender line:

Jack had many men fuck him, but never one at seventy years of age with a cock that was the sausage of life.

Gay porn videos bear titles such as The Truck Stop Toilet Tramp and Trucker Daddies. (“No rest in the rest areas either!” screams the promo material. “Big Daddy Truckers—hard greasy action with Big Daddy, Dickson Hills getting sucked good by his sex-crazed ride. Big Daddy Zack supervising hot blowjobs and penetration and recollecting incidents of long haul sex on and off the freeway.”)

The Internet is also no slouch when it comes to real-life trucker-fagsmanship. A Yahoo! group called “Hot Truckers in the USA” says it’s designed “for male truckers traveling in the USA and the men who love them. Drop some loads along the way. Post here if you want to plan a hot stop on route! Truckers, post your routes, schedules, and stops; or advertise for a traveling buddy….Share info about rest stops where you can find hot action (or rest stops where you would like to find it). The All Bear Truckstop caters to “Hairy Gay Truckers” with special pages devoted to “Sex in the Truck,” “TruckHawks,” and “Trucker Cum.” And, to the delight of all, our gay trucker friends over at gaytrucker.com recently announced that they’d be reviving their Gay Truckers Classified magazine, which they claim at one time had more than three thousand subscribers.

The Trucker’s Lane website offers a page devoted to “Cruising Tips” which should make any wannabe trucker fag’s first foray into the “pickle parks” a safer, more enjoyable experience. “Bear in mind that not all drivers are out there to let you suck them off,” the page warns, conjuring ominous images of scary, evil, real-life homophobes. “There are some sick men out there that won’t hesitate to put a fist in your face, or hesitate to kill your ‘faggot ass.’…You’d better learn that there are some violently sick homophobic fuckers out there who would rather think with their fists than with their brains.” The site also counsels its readers to be respectful of trucker-fag protocol and to treat other trucker fags as they themselves wish to be treated: “YOU MAY BE DESPERATE FOR SOME DICK, BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN YOU HAVE TO ACT LIKE ONE,” reads one wisdom-laden passage.

“I love the outdoors,” enthuses Trucker Jeff, who can often be found sitting at a computer…or sucking cock…via his webcam. He claims his old site, truckerjeff.com, “was designed for Gay, Bi & open-minded Straight Truckers, and their admirers, to meet and exchange ideas and friendship.” And cock, of course. Jeff, who’s been truckin’ for seven years, boasts a “32 inch waist going back and forth from 32 to 31” and claims to “love dancing and a good time.” I’m sure that somewhere in there, Jeff loves cock, too. Preferably trucker cock.

Norm Flowers, 52, is perhaps the most dedicated of the trucker-fag advocates out there. Based in Nashville, his Gay Truckers Association states its goal “is to provide professional services, resources and programs that promote a professional network that embraces equality for all individuals, especially the LGBT community, families, and allies, in the trucking industry.” I have no idea what all that means, but I’m sure it’s nice. Flowers claims that the trucking industry discriminates against gays to the point of silently enduring homophobic hate crimes against gay truckers, which at this time are a minority in the trucking demimonde. Norm’s Gay Truckers Association, founded in 2000, intends to apply legal force to right the wrongs committed against his gay-truckin’ brethren, but it also serves as a long-overdue networking tool for all the lonely trucker fags out there. Flowers says that when he first founded the GTA, he received letters with ecstatic comments such as “Wow, I’m not the only gay trucker out here!” and “I’d sure love to drive with another gay trucker. That way I don’t have to listen to some old man bitch about his last four wives.”

God bless you, Norm Flowers, for providing a voice for all trucker fags out there. And God bless all you trucker fags out there, too. You can drive all the trucks and suck all the cocks you want—I won’t be offended!

-JIM GOAD

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Comments
  1. Eine Kleine Arsemusik says:

    Whoa – wait a minute. There are men who have sex – with other MEN? No way. I don’t believe you. This is all just a big hoax!

  2. unclaimed smegma says:

    I skimmed this, looking for the joke. I couldn’t find it, unless it’s that truckers as homosexuals is inherently funny, which it isn’t.

  3. Charlie says:

    I love giving rim jobs!!!

  4. Taeil says:

    Hairy fat dudes having gay sex isn’t funny at all. No seriously, I didn’t read this because the title immediately bummed me out.

  5. The Truck Stop says:

    So at these gay truck stops for gay truckers, do lesbino truckers indulge on the other side of the wall?

  6. Taeil says:

    Not so much the title as much as that picture. Ew.

  7. […] Jim Goad – “One Nation Under a Bus“, “Out of the Closet…and Onto the Open Road!” […]


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