Posted by
The Fool
• 12.16.10 11:00 am


If cleanliness is Godliness, then there’s no doubt in my mind God must be a woman.

If cleanliness is Godliness, then there’s no doubt in my mind God must be a woman. You don’t have to occupy a YMCA changing room for any longer than two minutes to realize that men are filthy and disgusting. It’s as obvious as the layer of piss slowly caking on the floor or the mystery hairs clogging every drain. What’s worse than this incidental filth however is that some men pride themselves on being dirty because they think it’s manly.

I saw a picture of Rob Zombie the other day and he looks like he hasn’t washed his balls since La Sexorcisto dropped in ’92. That type of homeless aesthetic can only be achieved through a very deliberate effort. Could a woman ever get away with this? Would they even try to? Never.

So why do we think of Rob Zombie as being a hardcore MAN instead of a disgusting vagrant?

I went to my Uncle Rory for an answer. He fought in the war, killed another man before he grew his first pube and when he got back home, he immediately married a woman he didn’t love to prove he wasn’t a queer. I figured if anyone would know about being a MAN it would be him.

As he explained to me, in the era he grew up in, MEN only had enough time to do exactly three things:

1. Work a job
2. Pay bills
3. Die for their country
(or 3a. Drink Scotch while waiting to die for their country)

That’s it. If you had enough time to condition your hair you weren’t spending enough time being a MAN (see above steps 1 thru 3). Besides, who could have given a fuck about having touchable skin while occupying a trench?

The result of this mentality is why Rory still uses bar soap to wash his hair instead of shampoo. I don’t think anyone’s told him the war is over and even if they did in his mind he’ll always be out there somewhere fighting the gooks.

As for the rest of us who aren’t suffering from severe PTSD, we have no fucking excuse. If you have enough time to watch Jersey Shore and SportsCentre and play Black-Ops online with your friends then you have enough time to apply deodorant and shave. In fact if we’re going to advance as a civilization of men we need to step things up a notch to accelerate our evolution. Here’s the new rule that takes effect immediately:

If you are a man and you’re old enough to have hair in the crack of your ass, then you need to be shaving your ass crack.

Not your ass cheek. Not your choda or your tailbone. I’m talking about the fucking crease itself.

While you’re taking a moment to digest this allow me to highlight some of the logical benefits that follow from this personal hygiene practice:

1. You will spend at least 50% less time wiping your ass. At least.

2. Unless you literally stop washing your ass its impossible to skid mark your underwear.

3. Your girlfriend will be more receptive to sticking her index finger into your asshole while giving you head because it will no longer have to penetrate a tangled, hairy maze to get to your A spot.

Do I really need to go on?

I’ve been preaching this for years and anyone who has had the sense to listen has fully admitted to me that it feels like you’re stepping into the future. In fact, the only acceptable reason for not doing it is if you actually live in a third world country.

A number of my friends were initially scared off from shaving the crack of their ass because they believed they would somehow cut themselves, but rest assured its so easy to do Michael J. Fox could drop acid and still pull it off. Here’s how it’s done:

- Use one hand to spread your ass cheek

- Place the index finger of the other hand behind the head of your Mach3 to ensure a safe, guided motion.

- Shave your ass crack by holding the razor parallel to your crease pulling outward in either a East or West motion (depending on which side you’re dealing with).

The improvement in your life quality will be so noticeable you’ll feel like a Cuban that just washed up on South Beach.

Go ahead: Give it a try and tell me I’m wrong.

-THE FOOL


Comments
  1. rhoda says:

    If cleanliness is godliness, then God must be a fag like you.

  2. Danne C says:

    it will also make your farts sound louder, no more ninja farting.

  3. aesk47 says:

    Oh please god, let me die for my country so i can be a real clean man!

  4. Anonymous says:

    what the fuck is this garbage?

  5. Damien says:

    I shave my ass because otherwise everytime I took a shit I’d have to take a shower. Imagine rubbing feces through the hair on you head and then “wiping” it with toilet paper. No.

    That said, don’t do it with a fucking M3! You should never shave your ass or balls completely bald – the sweat would be incredible. You’ve been unwittingly muffling farts for years with your ass hair. With a bald ass, the slightest emission comes out like a cracker. Not to mention ingrown hairs.

    Break out the clippers, put on the smallest attachment, and get to work. The testicles just need a little tidying up. Women will gladly take your balls in their mouths – without prompting – if there’s just a velvety layer of fuzz. It’s the wires poking them in the face that they don’t like. They’re fellating you, not licking a terrier.

    Regarding your ass, just bend over and run the clippers along each wall of the crevice a couple times. No painful cuts, you still get that fresh modern feel, and you still have enough ass ‘n balls hair to serve its purpose.

    Pro-tip: refrain from irritating Vesling’s line.

  6. anon says:

    won’t the growing back of asshair be akin to wearing a sonic the hedgehog in your asshole?

  7. Jimmy Fucking Carter says:

    This is so logical, what heterosexual man want to put his dick into another heterosexual mans hairy asscrack. It just takes too much time.

  8. tommy says:

    The problem with shaving your asscrack hair is that when you perspire there’s nothing to soak it up and you end up with really damp walls of your inner ass.

  9. onyx blackman says:

    razorburn on my asscrack- no thanks.
    hasnt this guy ever heard of baby wipes?
    also, next time youre in the shower, turn around, bend over
    spread your cheeks and let water and gravity do the work

  10. OH SHIT says:

    I would never admit to this in public…but he’s right.

  11. ice cream beach says:

    get rob zombie out of your pants

  12. homeless says:

    Damien’s comment is hilarious and spot on to boot! yay!

    Note: My apologies for the peppy comment, Last Christmas by George Michael is on the airwaves and i’m feeling a bit campy!

  13. Anonymous says:

    Chris Haslam

  14. Two Headed Dog says:

    I think the Fool is coming out if the closet for Christmas with this post.

  15. Fur Real says:

    STOP! Before you do, read this. You may change your mind.

    I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to all though tasteless, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble pooping. No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique.
    It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling.

    Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with somepaper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can’t-Be-Flushed threshold. I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. “Hey, this is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don’t I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!” I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. “How many Indians could there be?” said by General Custer. “Looks like a good day for a drive!” by JFK. “There! America On-line now has complete Usenet access!” by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.

    I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occasionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn babe. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.

    Little did I know. I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I
    thought, it would dry. Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic poop -molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky poop/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there
    and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm. Unfortunately, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally
    reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks.

    As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering poop/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own poop blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: “It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks.” Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair – ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks.

    Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil. As if that wasn’t enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad.

    Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn’t just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.

    Friends-DON’T SHAVE YOUR ASS-HAIR!

  16. Yeah, well, back when men were men, they could say it and OWN it:

    “Boy? You call me BOY? I got a yard of dick, a wheelbarrow full of balls, and enough hair on my ass to weave an Indian blanket, and you call me BOY?!”

  17. Shit mummy says:

    Fur real:
    That was way more fucking funny then the article, I was giggling like an 8 year old that farted in church

  18. clif says:

    if shaving your ass hole is gay then I’m Bruce Vilanch, do you really have to like the same sex to not want dingle berries?

    pro tips -

    1. do this in the shower, stand one leg along the rim of the tub which will save you the effort of extra spreading
    2. shaving all the hair will result in a uncomfortable astro glide sensation as you walk, plus it feels like every fart is a shart, so treat it like you pubes, just trim
    3. don’t forget the taint, nothings gonna kill the mood faster than your future ex-girlfriend going down and finding a little hedgerow betwixt your balls and your ass, your trimming the first two, might as well make it a trio

  19. Pulitzer Nominating Committee says:

    Fur Real, nominated for Category: 2010 Dramatic Breaking News in the Pubic Interest–Novella Form.

    Also, congrats to SBTVC for its courageous willingness, despite an enormity of pressures both internal and external, to contain such explosive material.

  20. Anonymous says:

    i think this is a massive joke on anyone stupid enough to shave their poopy place…for shame fool for shame

  21. fuckface says:

    what about the hems? i’m talking about those plump purple danglers. wouldn’t you nick one and get blood all over the place?

  22. stoops says:

    hmmm. it was suggested to me once that i get my crack waxed. i demurred. the thought of having hair ripped out of that special place was too much to contemplate. though i must say, reading the comments on this post has inspired in me a warm feeling of camaraderie. thank you. thank you so much.

  23. For What Its Worth says:

    I shave my ass crack for reasons already mentioned. @Onyxblackman, baby wipes aren’t the same thing bro. Damien said it best. I was scared of razor burn too but it didn’t happen and I wasn’t itchy at all. I guess the skin there is different or something.the best part is the hair doesn’t grow back as much and I only have to do this once every three months maybe. Its glorious. I spend my whole day feeling like I just stepped out the shower.but whatvr. If you’re happy with how you’re handling your own situation more power to you.

  24. radtooth says:

    I have a compulsion to rip the hairs out of my ass with my bare hands. I like it and hate it at the same time.

  25. Suave says:

    Steps ahead of you friend. Hairless head to toe. Even the eyebrows which i paint on with a brush.

  26. qq says:

    HOLY CRAP “Fur Real”s comment………. back in the day they used to do stuff like write Madame Bovary and The Sorrows of Young Werther, but hey you did your bit with that comment man Fur Real.

    What a fucking great article. I would never do this thing, because a) its too freaky & b) i dont want anyone putting their finger in my asshole thank you very much. I dont even do that myself. Not that there is probably anything wrong with it.

    If i was going to do this i would use clippers ike the above commenter said, and if i did i certainly wouldnt write about it on the internet while i was at work on my work computer or anything

    Kudos on this on it was bad ass

  27. octavian says:

    ohh god damn this whole thing is a fucking riot!!! BRAVO,BRAVO

    This shit killed me:

    He fought in the war, killed another man before he grew his first pube and when he got back home, he immediately married a woman he didn’t love to prove he wasn’t a queer. I figured if anyone would know about being a MAN it would be him.

    As he explained to me, in the era he grew up in, MEN only had enough time to do exactly three things:

    1. Work a job
    2. Pay bills
    3. Die for their country
    (or 3a. Drink Scotch while waiting to die for their country)

    The result of this mentality is why Rory still uses bar soap to wash his hair instead of shampoo. I don’t think anyone’s told him the war is over and even if they did in his mind he’ll always be out there somewhere fighting the gooks.

  28. Suave Don says:

    Steps ahead of you friend. Hairless head to toe. Once you feel how refreshing the shaved ass is you’ll want to keep going.

  29. Ernest Queefingway says:

    How can you resist stopping at the grundle?

  30. Fickle Finger of Fate says:

    @qq said: “i dont want anyone putting their finger in my asshole thank you very much. I dont even do that myself.”

    That’s because qq is a commonly priggish Australian. Everyone knows they are culturally “behind” and that they are very “uptight” “down under”….

  31. Dickdouche says:

    How does taking the easy way out make you a man at all? I’m not saying: “Fuck science I’ll fight this cold with blankets, a couch, and TV. Faggot” I’ve got a hairy ass and I don’t have dingle berries, skid marks, or any of this other stuff you all are whining about because I clean my goddamn ass. Do you know what doesn’t take three steps to accomplish? Keeping my poop chute smelling and feeling clean. In fact, I’ve managed to work it into my daily routine. When I take a shower I don’t stop rubbing soap on my body when I reach my asshole, nay, I keep going and get a good scrub in; and then, whenever I use a toilet, I wipe my ass. How do you go from talking about living in a trench (where nobody even bathed) to talking about shaving your ass crack? I literally look like Pan from the waist down and my hygiene has never been in question from my girlfriend. She isn’t gross either. She’s one of those health nut/clean freak types; I’ve never seen her get any sicker than a cough. I am not one of these people. And maybe I’m too young but I don’t get the finger in the ass either. At this stage in the game I’m content with good ol’ ejaculation.

  32. Damien says:

    It’s an evolution issue you twit. If your ancestors reigned in a damp part of the world – Celts for example – you’re going to have more hair.

    It’s lovely that you wash your ass in the morning, but what happens if you take a shit an hour before noon?

  33. Zigmung Freud says:

    I concur. qq does have self-ass-hating issues. Note that he ended his comment by writing, “Kudos on this on it was BAD ASS” [emphasis added]. Self-evident phobic complex.

  34. Uncle Wah Wah says:

    If America would just embrace the biday, then every shit would be followed by a warm spritz to clean you off. As if taking that healthy shit isn’t already enough pleasure to look forward to.

  35. whitepower says:

    fuck you sissy

  36. girl says:

    boys are gross

  37. Anonymous says:

    I have a hairy ass, but I also have a wet room so I just hose the fuzzy octopus down after a suspect shit. Maybe I should shave though – I tried to get my girlfriend to stick her finger in my asshole at the weekend (we were having sex, it wasn’t just while we were chilling in the Electronics section at Wal-Mart) and she literally couldn’t find my asshole through the pubic jungle.

  38. @For Real says:

    “I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks.”

    Bullshit, you would have just wiped with toilet paper.

  39. @For Real says:

    P.S. your writing style fucking sucks, kill yourself.

  40. @ For Real commenting on @For Real says:

    You’re a dick. To even mention suicide as a suggestion to a fellow being is a gross estimation you have on the value of human life.

  41. girl says:

    How come you guys are complaining that a MAN is shaving his ass crack?? Girls shave/wax their crack all the time and there are no complaints? Fur Real.. should girls just let the hair grow??? Would men rather have WOMEN shave only?

    Clue for the men otu there… when you have mad hair in your bum crack and little dried pieces of poo are there, its aint cool. Done wanna shave? Always have wet wipes handy. Ew.

  42. Bum-Ba-Clot says:

    I agree with girl and from a woman’s perspective I’m thankful for this very funny very true posting. Every guy out here that is proud of being hairy and thinks shaving makes you gay needs to get a clue.

  43. ZOGISTAN says:

    Radtooth, why don’t you use some tissue? I just combine trips like that. The difference between a woman and man’s hair is pretty drastic. A woman’s leg hairs aren’t bristles that start a quarter inch below the outer surface of the skin. If I had hair like a female, I could shave every day without it looking like stubble growing out of a scab. It’s not that it makes you less masculine, it’s because skin grows over a little follicle that has a stubble with a sharp point on it, and then it has to cut its way out as it grows alongside bacteria.

  44. Dudebrah says:

    “It’s lovely that you wash your ass in the morning, but what happens if you take a shit an hour before noon?”

    That sounds like some sort of wise ancient proverb with deep hidden meaning.

  45. luke says:

    Shaving your pubic area is like getting tattoos or blasting rails or eating nachos (nut not all at the same time). Sort of hard to stop once you’ve gotten started. I agree a shaved whatever is preferable, but how fucking far down am I supposed to be going here ? Is it ok to have hair on my thighs anymore? Who can tell.

  46. ty says:

    Ha! “Clif” typed “hedgerow.”

    It’s almost 2011, I shall open a business called “Nair Dips.” Just like flea dip, I will make the young and hair-phobic smooth like mozzarella.

  47. Nair Do Well says:

    Two brothers I knew pretty well in high school: the younger one, age 13, took evening bath. As was family tradition, when he was done with his bath, the older brother then hopped right in the still-full tub (I know, gross right, what family would do such a thing but they were a quirky crew, and hey this is what I heard). Unbeknownst to the successor bro, the departing younger bro had dumped a liberal dose of nair in there… How ’bout them Yankees?

  48. Fur Real says:

    @ Girl.

    Feminist studies suck, drop out now.

    Women don’t have nearly as much hair as men. I’d assume that the waxing process wouldn’t hurt as much or take nearly as long for a woman as it would for a man with catacombs of hair between his cheeks.

    Also, it’s all fine if a woman just trims her bush…they grow next to no hair on their asses anyways. On top of that, men ENJOY licking a woman’s balloon knot. I can assure you most women do not get off on the same act.

    Finally, women around the globe are going to be pissed about your pseudo-feminist argument when men continue to look and act more and more like women. What passive boring sex we’d all have. No dirt, no shit, no stink! Sounds awful. Like chemo patient sex.

    You’re boring.

  49. asdkf says:

    this article fucken sucks

  50. Wombraider says:

    Can’t we just get our cornholes waxed!? There would be no stubble, and your ass would be completely smooth. I just think I would be too embarASSed to have somebody all up in my trap door applying the hot solution. Could be worth a try though…

  51. Professor Mudbutt says:

    My ex offered to shave my crack, said it would be easier for her to lick.

  52. Sergian says:

    No way in hell am I shaving my ass. Fuck that. I resent this whole article. Shower in the morning, scrub the ass well, then a thorough wipe after each shit, maybe even stick a bit of toilet paper covered finger in there just to make sure, hell, even go first knuckle deep if you like.

  53. Anonymous says:

    What about stubble? Wouldn’t it itch horribly? How often do you need to do it? Is Nair a better idea? I remember an article by Dave Carnie in a Big Brother magazine where he used raspberry Nair on his ass and it burned (solid read, he mentioned smelling farts more clearly), but maybe they have a better formula for pubes now. As a ball-shaver, I’m intrigued, but the stubble scares me.

  54. bckpck T says:

    Fur Real should have had the main piece here. Hilarious.

  55. smooth operator says:

    this was a fucking great post! i actually laughed out loud.
    The comments are pretty excellent too. I think this might be the best SC comment board I’ve ever seen.

    Kudos Fool.

  56. @@ For Real commenting on @For Real says:

    You kill yourself too.

  57. emsamtits says:

    The fool I think your 3 reasons for shaving ass cracks are really bad. The last one is ok if you want that but I don’t. The first reason is really funny because you say you’ll spend 50% less time wiping, but how much time do you have to spend wiping in the first place for that to be a good thing? I spend maybe 15 seconds wiping each time I crap, and that’s all it takes because when there is nothing left on the paper I’m done. So 7 seconds vs. 15 doesn’t do anything for me. And who the fuck get’s skidmarks that shit is disgusting. I shower probably 4-5 times a week and wipe enough and that does the trick. I never get skidmarks I hope you’re preaching to the wrong crowd on that one. “a number of my friends were initially scared off”, I don’t know man that sounds really funny to me. You’re the guy that tries to convince all his friends into shaving their ass cracks that’s hilarious. “No, No man seriuosly listen to me it’s awesome! I’m serious this is really really important to me I spend 50% less time wiping!” That is so funny. I am sorry though I don’t want to upset you, I guess it’s good you might not read this but that shit is really funny. “depending on which side your dealing with” lol oh man you’re an idiot. “life quality” lol, “logical benefits”, oh man you’re talking about shaving dude butt this is so funny. If we met in real life you’d probably hate me so much I wouldn’t be able to stop laughing if I heard you preaching this stuff at a party.

  58. Anonymous says:

    my clit is numb from rubbing it to that pic.

  59. SangoDango says:

    Bollocks , a real man should have a hairy asshole . Bidet’s , although a little worrying to use , are an excellent modern solution .

  60. no says:

    wax

  61. @ForReal says:

    I just lol’ed more than I have ever lol’ed before – I admire your comment dont let the other @ForReal’s get you down. Complete Ledgend!

  62. WowAnon says:

    Wow. You couldn’t wipe the smile on my face, still cannot believe I stumbled into this and read the whole thing. I cannot help but wonder how much TP this guy is grabbing at one time, the whole fricken’ roll? I have the hair to rival this man, and grabbing three squares at a time works perfect for me. Thanks for the entertaining read. I’d shave my ass if I knew it would all be back in one week with a vengeance.

    Now I don’t.. umm.. feel so bad!! ;)

  63. Dingusloaf says:

    The logic here is of the same standard as an autistic twelve year old on Xbox Live. If shaving your ass to assist with sanitary issues makes you gay, then fapping in general makes you gay. I mean shit, you’re touching dicks are you not? The logic in this thread is hilarious and stupid at the same time.

    Grow up.

  64. Stubble says:

    I tried shaving down there and the stubble is kinda scratchy…

  65. MarthaS says:

    For economy, you can save on toilet paper by using both sides. So toilet paper expense is halved which changes the calcs.

  66. Tj says:

    Fur Real… I love you. I was reading and laughing through the whole GD story it was amazing. Ive never read and laughed. I wish I could just give you a simple Man to Man bro hug. Because that, that was some good reading.

  67. Mike Oxbig says:

    I got drunk at my house with this girl once, she was texting her guy-friends and they were asking her to take pictures of her ass. At first she did it with her pants on, then they asked her to take pics of her ass nude. She told me this before she went through with it and I told her not to, in case her boyfriend found out. So then she suggested that we take a picture of MY ass instead and pretend it’s her made-up girlfriend’s ass (she told those guys she was hanging out with a girl she made up so that they wouldn’t know it was me). I told her that was an even worse idea because my ass looks nothing like a girl’s. She insisted that they wouldn’t know the difference, so I had to tell her that my ass was kinda hairy. She go SO grossed out, and she asked why don’t I just shave it. Even though she was drunk, it sounded like it was a normal thing the way she said it. It seemed like ass-shaving was unheard of to her, and she’s not a virgin so I assumed from her reaction that the guys she’s been with are more or less bare-bottomed. Even though girls don’t have to do anything to a guy’s ass, it really seems like any kind of body hair turns them off. I’m just grateful she was drunk enough to not remember 1 word of that conversation ’cause I was SO embarrassed.

  68. Mike Oxbig says:

    “She [got] SO grossed out,…”

  69. Mike Oxbig says:

    “It seemed like ass-shaving [wasn't] unheard of to her,…”

  70. man says:

    I shave my asshole. Yeah, it’s because if I don’t, the shit gets stuck in the asshole hair.

    It has nothing to do with being a fag. It has to do with not wanting to sit in your own turds every time you take a shit.

  71. Anonymous says:

    Put a cock in my ass

  72. Andy says:

    i want my gf to stick her finger in my butt

  73. HAHA says:

    For real, that was hilarious

  74. kumar says:

    I am going to share even if people read or not……….I am sorry to say that a lot of the guys who have left comments are @@@@@@ as shaving the ass cheeks and the crack is easiest to do. Firstly, go to a pharmacy or a supermarket, buy shaving oil and good quality razor.
    In the bathroom, spread a towel on t he floor, apply the shaving oil to the butt cheeks and the crack and also the pubic area and then apply a thin layer of shaving gel and then shave gently and not with a force or do not press the razor too much on the skin.
    I have been doing this regularly for the past 10 years and I am over 50 years of age and I have never had any problems.
    So, guys stop being a phoos and get shaving

  75. coco says:

    well im gay and i totally shave my ass. but lots of gay guys dont. so its not really a gay/str8 man/woman thing. its all in ur head anyway. but i’ve never had a problem keeping my ass clean before i shaved either.

    buuuut ya dont use a razor u’ll get razorburn just do clippers.

  76. Sean says:

    I love SMELLING & RIMMING Straight, Gay ASS HOLES. I can smell ASS from miles away!!!!

    Rimming is my thing.

    Wanna “LICK” my tounge is my dick.

    Give my a try, you will LOVE IT !!! & you’ll come back!!!

    I Suck a mean DICK TOO !!!!

  77. noone says:

    Wow only in america do people think stuff like this is gay. MEN wear skirts in some countries and call it a kilt. Men wear “dresses” that they call robes but only in america is the line of separation between male and female dependent upon what you wear how you groom etc. etc.
    If someone wants to shave the ass to feel cleaner hows that different from wiping it to feel cleaner.
    Theres men that shave their whole bodies even though most of them are sports swimmers they still do it and their men.
    I think its cool that the OP is open minded like this as the world as a whole could benefit from a little open mindedness. Those who are close minded are simply falling to the wayside as the retards that cant evolve.
    You know at one point in time being with another race was looked at the same way as this is. NEWS FLASH ITS ALL PINK ON THE INSIDE so who cares.
    OP should make a billion articles like this just to piss people off lol.

  78. Jimmy says:

    I’ve been shaving from my knees to my tits and everything thru, for years. It has it’s benifits, wiping, loud farts, fast clean up in the shower, but if you let if go for more then a week your body will stubble up and the itch starts, this time may flux as everyone is different. Do you guys like the feel of a smooth womans legs???? I know I do, how about going down on a bald pussy over a hairy one???? I’ll take the bald one every time. Imagine as your really getting into her and you run you hands around her ass and have to stop for a hair knot caught up in your fingers,,,nasty. Not that girls get that much hair but just trying to make some examples. My gf loves that I do shave, the attention she gives is far more then if I did not. If you never been rimmed during a bj, in my opinion, you never had a “great” bj. As for the finger to hit the “A” spot,,,again better with no pulling hair. Oral sex is so much more involved when your clean and smooth down below.
    Bottom line of the bottom subject, if it’s right for you and your comfortable then do so, your’ll find out from the moment you do.
    Only suggestion I have for you is this, clean, sharp, fresh razor, each time, shave cream, and keep up with it weekly… Oh yeah baby powder to keep from sticking or you may have to do something insane like the guy with the fan to dry his ass sweat,,,lol that was funny.


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