Posted by
Christi Bradnox
• 02.20.09 10:55 am

If you think you’re cold, wet, and bored now, you’ve obviously never been to Northern England. These people are so fucking miserable they need to do three Es every day just to stave off suicide.

If you think you’re cold, wet, and bored now, you’ve obviously never been to Northern England. These people are so fucking miserable they need to do three Es every day just to stave off suicide. They’d like to listen to rock ‘n roll and rap but those tame beats simply don’t cut it when you’re entire soul has been dipped in damp mud. When the term “wet blanket” feels as literal as it is metaphorical you need some real fucking beats to get things going, like: gabba, no, techno, no, electro, actually, you know what? Take all those and then put a donk on it! Le’ts go!

From the Guardian.

[Ed note: I’m going to make myself like this just to piss off the music snobs]

  1. imyar says:

    i guess it’s frowned upon to mention the others here but i liked the vice piece on the donk “scene” ugh

  2. imyar says:

    ok i just listened to what this garbage actually sounds like how is this different from shitty drum and bass like at all

  3. yawn says:

    this has been covered to death. c’mon SC, get your shit together

  4. garbagetits says:

    I really like that song “Honkey Tonk Badonkadonk.” Is Donk music like that song?

  5. yawn2 says:

    that set where the “party” is poppin’ off is too much! reminds me of the old dj jazzy jeff videos where the graffiti said shit like “FRESH” and “WIGGITY-WACK” in bright primary colors to represent South Philly

  6. chip says:

    ha ha ha…sick!

  7. Anonymous says:

    VBS.TV just made a great documentary on this

  8. dom says:

    That VBS documentary is brilliant!

  9. ... says:

    ugh, this shit is fucking terrible, and vice already did this.

    you suck.

  10. showponies says:

    PHEW!!! Good thing they have a cool black guy in the video.

  11. […] Put a Donk on it!!!! The freshest sound to come out of a youth center. (via street carnage) […]

  12. crabmanfish says:

    no, don’t put a donk on it, put a cock in your mouth and choke

  13. Der. VBS.TV comes out with a whole documentary on Donk and you do a half baked blog post about the Blackout Crew video everyone has already seen? Am I completely missing the punch line here?

  14. showponies says:

    I think the music snobs are already in the process of trying to like this.

  15. Arv says:

    Holy fuck, I only watched like 30 seconds of that and now I think I have cancer.

  16. xavier says:

    woah woah wait up, do those kids really do 3 pills a day. thats bad ass

  17. todd says:

    white people…

  18. bob "niggaz be hatin' " barker says:



    this is ok, but its just the convergence of gabba and grime

  19. Badonk Adonk says:

    How is this considered NEW? Hello – speed garage with new retards mc’ing on top of it.

  20. lowdirt says:

    why do they like madonna so much that they have to remix every one of her songs? shes vile.

  21. Win$ton Church-ill says:

    Interesting how Streetcarnage is advertising Grand Theft Auto IV and so is Vice on their donk series and streetcarnage has a dated donk post where the comments immediately direct us toward Vice and their donk series with the Grand Theft Auto IV commercials.

  22. badtooth says:

    This is what I say when i want people to shut up now. “Put a fucking donk on it Robert. Nobody wants to hear about a stripper with three labias alright??”

  23. SAD MUCH? says:

    what about all that shit about Gavin being the creative genius behind vice? He leaves they get great make VBS and he does a teen aged punk covers band that everyone laughs at? now his site is a watered down version of viceland? creative genius? Have you seen his band? And why can he even do street boners? An old man who dresses like a kid and I’m supposed to pay attention? PAthetic. Really. Switching back to Vice. At least they aren’t as shit as you.

  24. Jack Offal says:

    Yeah but the comment boards are much better at streetcarnage.

  25. steve - o says:

    Streetcarnage is a bust. Gavin is yet another trustafarian “artiste” living in BBurg well into their 40s. One word you loser.


  26. bj says:

    i think everyone in the youth media bizzo is so desperate to name the new thing out in music first they will name ANYTHING the new thing out in music.

    i just prefer SBTVBTCSVBT than the other site because theyre not a bunch of wankers over here. (or less wankers than over there. or at least they dont have a london magazine which is so gay it makes you want to die. or worse australian) or whatever. and as well they still have full frontal nudity over here and show photos of dinks which advertisers dont like but they do it anyway and i respect that.

  27. Vane$$a says:

    “the youth media bizzo”

    With the ability to come up with a linguistic gem like that, I have no doubt that you are in fact a rousing success in the watered down, soulless world of modern publishing. Let me guess; you wrote a tell-all memoir of your not so gritty, trust-funded days in the cozy lofts of Bwooklyn. Jesus fucking Christ. My morning whiskey shit has more literary value than your most painstakingly “crafted” mental abortions that, by law, we’re forced to call writing. Let’s bet on that. Who writes a better book? Not a better comment at Streetcarnage. Not a better internet blurb to be read in the 5 minutes poor working shlubs have before the boss is looking over their shoulder again. An entire fucking book.

  28. french guy says:

    2 facts for you christi :

    a. homosexuality was invented in england.

    b. “From the guardian” : why lacking honesty here? just read the damn thread… everyone’s laughing at you now for not having the balls to write those three litlle letters… v.b.s.

  29. Anonymous says:

    Damnit. Can’t we just nuke the North and stop this shit coming out. Those fuckers are always ruining something. Cunting Bastards!!!

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