Posted by
Jim Goad
• 06.28.13 09:30 am

Across the blogosphere yesterday, panicked prog pundits struggled to explain why Rachel Jeantel, the prosecution’s star witness in George Zimmerman’s trial, is not dumb as shit.

To the naked white eye, Ms. Jeantel would, indeed, appear to be as dumb as a huge fat pile of wildebeest dung swarming with flies on the African savannah. On the witness stand, she communicated through a series of grunts, clicks, and rutting noises. She was unable to read cursive writing. Visibly annoyed by her interrogator, it seemed that at any moment she was going to fling a handful of feces at him while scratching her armpits.

The most fascinating part of her testimony was when she claimed that Trayvon Martin had referred to Zimmerman as a “creepy-ass cracker,” as this was the first wisp of evidence that this ridiculously over-publicized case had anything whatsoever to do with race. NBC nearly started a race war last year when it purposely edited Zimmerman’s 911 call to make it appear as if he was implying that Trayvon looked like “trouble” because he was “black,” rather than what actually happened, which is that Zimmerman said that Trayvon looked like trouble and only said he was black after a 911 dispatcher inquired about his ethnicity.

Still, ginger geeks such as Hamilton Nolan over at Gawker, which is stuffed to the white gills with the sort of sheltered ofay writers who seem to think they can hang with blacks but would be the first type of Nilla wafer to be singled out and flattened by a violent black flash mob, told “crackers” to shut the fuck up about the whole cracker thing because it’s, like, a false equivalency and shit, dude.

Hey there, white boy—the only thing people are complaining about is the insane double standard. It’s hilarious that you gullible dupes of multiculturalism and willing supplicants to the modern Cult of Equality tried to sculpt a false racial narrative about this case and now can’t handle the truth. The real “pussies” are the sort of fey, sheltered white nerds such as Hamilton Nolan, John Cook, and Max Read who can’t admit they were wrong.

It’s people like the eterna-smirkers on Gawker’s staff who insist that “racists” are “living in the past,” when the truth is that the “anti-racists” are still feeding off of atrocities that ceased happening generations ago. The real racial violence in America these days is lopsidedly against whites. Statistics support that fact up the yin-yang, but don’t ever expect these pussies to deal with statistics. It subverts the narrative, yo.

I don’t hear them making a peep about all the Tweeted death threats from semi-retarded dusky keyboard-peckers that they’s about ta kill dem some crackas if Zimmerman walks. Would it be illegal to give these people the address to Gawker’s office? There seem to be a disproportionate quotient of crackers there. I mean, at least in the abstract, that would be a good place to start.

Over at Skepchick, the smarmy atheists who never seem to be the least bit skeptical about the ludicrous notion of blank-slate equality, AKA “liberal creationism,” a writer clucks at those who thinks that Rachel Jeantel’s dumb-as-rocks Florida Negroidal dialect sounds “ignorant.” Funny how these are the same people who are ALWAYS making fun of white Southern dialects for representing the apex of ignorance.

On Global Grind, Christina Coleman, who is black or at least partially so, scolds white people for being incapable of understanding the obviously nuanced deep thinker that is Miz Rachel Jeantel.

Oh, eat a chocolate frozen banana, already. Jeantel is dumb as shit. It’s bleedingly obvious. Get real. Isn’t that part of being black—the “getting real” shtick? If so, I’m blacka than all y’all crackas.



  1. Richard M says:

    She’s as dumb as she is ugly, that’s for sure.

    As much as I’d like to say she also has a peculiarly terrible sense of fashion, her hoop earrings match her IQ.

  2. tod says:

    She thought court would be fun and she really thought she would be a hero but she ended up writing a check she cant cash.

  3. tod says:

    Its like when your friend dies and a million people come out of nowhere crying about how they were true loves and blah blah blah, this one just took it too far, she loves being the last person poor little treyvon spoke to.

  4. conrice says:

    She’s dumb as shit, she was raised like shit, she has acted like shit, and she’s turned out to be a piece of shit.

    I kept wondering if Trayvon’s parents were proud of the company he kept.

  5. I'm shocked and surprised says:

    I have really been enjoying seeing the whiteys at the “progressive” blogs like Salon and Gawker desperately scramble to blame whites and “white privilege” for Rachel Jeantel’s idiocy.

  6. Twalsh says:

    She’s not an anomaly. There are hundreds of thousands of her contemporaries out there who are just like her.

  7. Well said says:

    This article really hits the nail on the head. I’d like to see those pencil-neck dweebs at gawker just try walking through a real ghetto. Not even challenging them to live in one. Just walk through it.

  8. […] Jim Goad on the Zimmerman Trial […]

  9. I'm shocked and surprised says:

    I sure hope Mr. Injustice addresses this weighty issue.

  10. Packen says:

    First article on this non-case I truly enjoyed reading all of it.

  11. Hamlet's Ghost says:

    They’re desperately trying to work out this retarded lowland gorilla’s ookings as “innocence”. They even have the audacity to venture that this supposed innocence will HELP the prosecution’s case! Un-flipping-believable!

    The prosecution never had a case. They must have known that when they started. They only prosecuted Zimmerman to sooth the blacks thinly-veiled rioting threats if they didn’t get a trial. Well, they got their trial, and now they have a farce. This thing could end sooner than anyone thought. My advice to anyone in a “diverse” community is to have a suitably diverse collection of pistols, shotguns and large-caliber rifles when they free the Z-man.

  12. Yeah, she’s dumb but I see a lot of that as defensive petulance.

    As a mere Canadian, it seems to me at this great distance that many African-Americans live in the magical world of upside down, a self-segregated society with its own moral codes, standards and lingo.

    So when they find themselves in the spotlight of “white society,” they get very defensive, to cover up how unmoored they feel under those circumstances.

    Am I wrong?

  13. […] He writes: To the naked white eye, Ms. Jeantel would, indeed, appear to be as dumb as a huge fat pile of wildebeest dung swarming with flies on the African savannah. On the witness stand, she communicated through a series of grunts, clicks, and rutting noises. She was unable to read her own handwriting. Visibly annoyed by her interrogator, it seemed that at any moment she was going to fling a handful of feces at him while scratching her armpits. […]

  14. KC says:

    The comments on this poor girl, including Glenn Beck’s, are uncharitable. She’s a nobody, with every strike against her, thrust into the spotlight. A lot of us wouldn’t look any better than she does.

    Still… heavily medicated?

  15. angry al says:

    the answer is yes

  16. RW says:

    I am an atheist, liberal, multi-racial (no black) and I can see she is one dumb bratty 20-year old high school senior. It bothers me that whites (and blacks) won’t admit black people are bigger racists than whites. White people need to get a backbone and stop kissing black-ass.

  17. KC I think some people are taking out their everyday frustrations on Jeantel.

    From what I’ve heard (again, I’m not an American) one encounters Jeantel’s down your way every day: “working” at the DMV or some other “service” industry.

    They apparently have a bad “attitude.” Working is somehow beneath them; too much like slavery I suppose. Or maybe I just listen to too much Adam Carolla :-)

    A major figure in the immigration field told me without prompting that the reason nobody does anything about Mexican illegal immigration is that employers prefer relatively docile Mexican workers to petulant African-American ones with chips on their shoulder. Just his 2 cents.

  18. suicide-path says:

    i hope there are riots. you americans are so entertaining

  19. Raymi says:

    “and flattened by a violent black flash mob,” gablaahahahhaa

  20. sTevo says:

    The inner tube around the neck is a sporty look.

  21. newlibertarian says:

    Unfair – you’re dissing shit…

  22. OralCummings says:

    Dumb as a box of rocks. As no doubt was Trayvon. She didnt go to Trayvons funeral because she was too lazy,she had to watch TV and eat donuts.

  23. ??? says:

    Who cares how fat, black and retarded she is. Zimmerman went looking for trouble and ended up killing some kid who was minding his own business at the time. He murdered that kid. Period. Had he not followed him, none of this would have happened. There’s white retards, black retards, Asian retards…who cares??

  24. Heydrich says:

    You forgot several zeroes Twalsh.

    I hope it is a long, hot summer with some good race riots. Would be nice to lance the boil a bit.

  25. sbl says:

    Jim, I understand why you are filled with seething anger over this case, as is clear from this article. However, do you have real enmity of Rachel herself? I don’t understand why you sought to dehumanize her (comparing her to feces and an animal) simply because you believe she is unintelligent.

  26. Nicole says:

    Speaking of retarded, too many people are making it a color issue when it’s a rights issue. The question is whether or not an armed person has the right to start a fight with you and then shoot you for defending yourself.

    If Zimmerman gets away with this, then it means a thug can start some mess with you or your kid, shoot them, and then claim it was self defense.

  27. Jim Goad says:

    All humans are animals…sir. Some are just retarded…sir.
    I don’t think my emotions about the case involve “seething anger,” sir. As far as I can discern, both Trayvon and Zimmerman were douchebag losers…sir. And as I’ve said from the start, unlike 99% of the public, I don’t claim to know what happened that night…sir.
    However, I’m disgusted with how it’s been framed as a hate crime by the major media from the start. As I said, the first mere wisp of evidence that there was ANYTHING racial about it was the allegation that Trayvon called Zimmerman a “creepy-ass cracker,” sir.
    Then, when this is revealed, the fawning egalitarian media that has to search high and low for white-on-black violence when it turns a blind eye to shit-tons of black-on-white violence scrambles to offer half-assed explanations for why “cracker” is not a racist term…sir. To me, that’s just retarded…sir.

  28. NSA says:

    For me Jeantel seems like Trayvon’s Ma Barker. People tend to romanticize Dillinger types so the issue comes down to how much would someone need to pay you to bang her?

    It’s really a question of conscience that needs to be answered from the sacred inner residence-dwelling of the mauve spirit.

  29. sbl says:

    Ok, fair enough. Thanks for the response.

  30. do doo raygun says:

    Love the fact that no one knows that white slavery was far more extensive than black African slavery EVER was for thousands of years. Learn your history, people.

  31. Tarek says:

    Surely this isn’t the first time a ghetto negro has hit the stand. So, I don’t get why she’s such a shocker.

  32. Jim Goad says:

    No one said anything about it being a “shocker.” The biggest takeaway is that there’s FINALLY evidence of a racial angle in the case—Trayvon using the word “cracker.”

  33. Ben says:

    She dumb as shit…that’s for sure!

  34. Except Ann Althouse is arguing that rather than “crazy ass CRACKER” what he said was “crazy ASS-cracker” — that is a cruising homosexual.

    That expression is news to me but there ya go.

    So this may turn into the American version of the British “Let him have it case”?

    Oh joy…

  35. Added value says:

    Does anyone else think she looks like a Black Smurf?.

  36. The real killer of Ron and Nichole says:

    Unfortunately it’s easier to get away with lying if people think you’re a stone cold moron, and she told some pretty obvious whoppers up there.

  37. The real killer of Ron and Nichole says:

    And BTW, she played stupid (more like stupider) when she didn’t want to answer questions on cross examinations. This witness is not credible.

  38. Unca Mike says:

    There will not be rioting if Zimmerman is acquitted. After all, there was no rioting when OJ Simpson was acquitted.

  39. Tit says:

    See ya’ll at the clan meetin’….sir

  40. Jim Goad says:

    Y’all spelled “y’all” and “Klan” wrong…sir.

  41. Tit says:

    so see you there then? (you race baiting piece of shit)

  42. Jim Goad says:

    Sure, it wasn’t the mainstream media that injected race into this story. It was me.
    It must suck knowing that a “piece of shit” spells better than you do…ma’am.

  43. Anon says:

    I think the fat in her face is distorting her eyes… Didn’t got to Trayvon’s funeral cuz she can’t see over her face…Just nasty…

  44. UnapologeticRacist says:

    Rachel Jeantel single-handedly personifies a compelling argument in favor of both abortion and segregation.

  45. craig rodney says:

    You white racist Crackers, please tell me who Trayvon Martins was stalking that night. You people have always thought it was OK to kill young black men. Stop insulting MY intelligence. You know DAMN wee, if Trayvon Martin was white, George Zimmerman would already be under the Jail. Your justice system ain’t shit. The only witness alive is lying thru his Teeth. And the Sanford Police Department is doing all they can to help that bastard stay as free as the night he killed that Young Black Man! That’s why you have GAy marriage in this Country ..because you are all a bunch of Godless assholes!

  46. Jack Hanson says:

    Craig Rodney, you stupid piece of shit. Maybe if blacks weren’t so prone to robbing, looting, raping, and killing everyone around them, Saint Trayvon of the Skittles wouldn’t have been out with the ingredients for sizzurp. If Trayvon Martin was born white, he likely wouldn’t have been a “Real Life Niggggah” or whatever his retarded fucking handle was.

    In a just world, they’ve put “Sic Semper Africanus” on Martin’s tombstone and give Zimmerman a medal.

  47. Mccaf says:

    soo did baby Trayvon bang her or what?

  48. Clovis says:

    The built-in turtle-neck is not a practical look for Florida this summer.

  49. very difficult to understand.

  50. MRich says:

    Miss Jeanel missed the funeral cuz she be busy keepin it real and nobodys done red her the adres wheres the funeral be takin place.

  51. OkieGirl says:

    And I quote!! “Mmmmmmhummmmhummmm.. Hummmmmmhummmmmm”
    “Uhmmmmmmm and ummmmmmmmm.”
    Sorry but even “Honey Boo Boo” could be understood and she is 6 years old!!
    This person “Rachel” couldn’t even speak to were the court reporters could understand!!
    This Rachel whatever, NEEDS TO GO GET SPEECH THERAPY!!
    Her mumbling was enough along with her DOG ASS ugliness, was touch to handle!!

    BUT NOW SHE CAN BE A F$&@ing millionaire, which is
    1. So undeserving!
    2. Can she say millionaire?
    3. Any monies given to her should go into a charity that would help prevent this situation from ever happening again!!

    But she looks to greed and is willing to make her millions off a dead friend!
    So shameful!!

  52. I had a good laugh, though I would never dare to write in such a rude tone.

    But it must be said that Mrs. Jeantel destroyed the strategy of the Martin family and their lawyer

    No amount of priming, teaching, coaching got her come up with good enough lies that would “prove” the prosecution’s lies about Zimmerman

    She kept losing track, mixing lies, fantasies and truth haphazardly.

    If she were sophisticated and intelligent, enough to pull through a credible web of lies, Zimmerman might have gotten convicted.

    But yes, you have a point: she really is in college??????

    We wrote a lot about the Zimmerman case in our race and iq section.

    But we try to be dry and academic and not too offensive.

    Feel free to come over and comment. And please, ignore other topics that might offend you. I try to be unoffensive, because I already have enough topics to offend everyone, without being too direct as you are.

    Go ahead with your funny (but true) work

  53. That's_how_eye_roll says:

    Late to the party, just wanted to address Skepchick for a minute – whether or not she thinks white southern dialect is indicative of inferior intelligence, her point is apparently based on comparison to her own Indian dialect (and, predictably, commenters happily jumped on that bandwagon with examples of their own dialects, most of which seemed to be rooted in countries very far away from America).

    I can’t imagine her attitude really turned on a dime, as she says – a truly sincere change of heart takes a bit more time than that. But what’s important is that this isn’t really a matter of “rich history, origins, internal grammar, and so on” – it’s a blatant attitude based on rejection of established civilized norms (an attitude passed down to impressionable children by their ill-suited parents and reinforced by worthless peers in what will likely prove an endless line of toppling dominoes, not one of them really certain where all this defiance even began, only that it must continue). Where in this totally valid and sophisticated vernacular is a synonym for “indicative” or “impressionable” or “ill-suited”? Why is the lingo so limited in scope that complex ideas (even rather simple ones, in fact) can’t be sufficiently expressed? Even the resulting frustration can’t be sufficiently expressed. Why did the brief campaign to teach “Ebonics” fail so quickly? Why doesn’t Obama himself (not to mention every respectable black citizen ever, from authors to doctors) speak like this? It’s okay for the rap game or the basketball court, but you’ll find repeatedly that smart people don’t speak ghetto, and for very very good reason: it is ignorance realized through language.

    This is, of course, undeniable. So I imagine the only recourse for Skepchick’s smoldering crater of an argument would be to blame Jeantel’s malnutrition of an upbringing and consequential ignorance on whitey. Obviously there’s no synonym for “accountability” in Ebonics, either.

  54. Enerjionline says:

    thanks for ur information. I was looking for this subject. it can be helpfull for me

  55. Robert Jones says:

    Here we are six years later and nothing has changed.

    Great job although you left out the part where NBC edited the pictures of Zimmerman being brought into
    the police station for questioning and the bloody mess that was the back of his head that
    got mysteriously photoshopped out.

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