Posted by
HJ Fountain
• 02.25.16 12:10 pm

11375958_775529772545557_1575754385_n

On yesterday’s ESPN broadcast of Around the Horn, I was greeted with such a diverse 4-person panel, my heart skipped a beat. Gay black guy LZ Granderson, gay Latino Israel Gutierrez, gay chick Kate Fagan, and presumably straight black chick Jamele Hill all converged to give me the most multicultural, homosexual, intersectional take on the future of quarterback RGIII (and other topics) I’ve ever experienced.

Look, we all know that ESPN and the rest of the sports media industrial complex doesn’t want to be seen as excluding ass masters and bird-feeding canyon yodelers. But stacking your 5:00 P.M. show with gays seems a little desperate. This country isn’t anti-Queer—it’s anti-having this shit shoved in our face every day for no other reason than your own agenda that bothers us. In other words: It’s annoying.

Are gays good at talking about sports? Sure, that’s not the issue. However, gays have the extraordinary ability of turning every topic into something about “Gay Rights,” when said topic has nothing to do with that shit.

Sports fans only wanna know about trades, and the NFL draft, and if LeBron has enough help: Gayness is irrelevant to us.

So ESPN can come up with panels featuring Elton John, Liberace, Rip Taylor, and Dan Savage—and we will politely change the channel. When the agenda outweighs the quality of content, we’ll just watch something else a little less gay than what ESPN provides. ESPN should learn that diversification doesn’t have to mean queering every show they have. It’s pathetic. And obviously PC.

-H.J. FOUNTAIN


Comments
  1. Buckwheat says:

    RG111 be my rasta doppelganger otay!!!

  2. Howard Cosell says:

    Multi-Intersectionality-trans-gender fluid-diversified-post-pre-op-de-constructuality-recombinant-add-a-dick-to-me-hystericalectomy-hermaphadicktomy-criticality-NFL draft.

  3. LGBTESPN says:

    You nailed it on the head and ESPN does it a lot. How many times do I need to hear “As a gay man blah blah blah” during the commentary and or with a subtle twist lisp. None. If anyone knows or notices you are a throat poker you are doing it wrong. Probably the worst offender is the feces n’ coconut scented LZ who just can’t resist tap dancing to the sound of victimhood at every occasion.

  4. Gavin says:

    Give us examples from the show. What did they say?

  5. Concerned Citizen says:

    Watch out everyone. I think OogaBooga took the GG Allin challenge and is actually stealing Gavin’s identity. The maniac is living dangerously and wants like that Jew Samson to pull the house down with as many victims as possible. Steer clear it’s an Atomic Shit bomb.

  6. Chocolate Hotdog says:

    LZ Granderson looks like a fat albert character with the hivs. He randomly talks about his Zumba class as well. Fucking wretch.

  7. raymi says:

    your mind was blown

  8. H.J. says:

    Well, I didn’t watch the entire episode since the time between the Super Bowl and March Madness is the dullest part of the year in sports, and b/c everyone on the panel has the personality of drywall when compared to the regulars (Woody Paige, Tim Cowlishaw, Jackie Mac, Bill Plaschke, Kevin Blackistone, Bob Ryan, etc.)and this is probably the reason ESPN is filling its gay quota in late February (no one is watching). LZ always parallels every race topic with the gay struggle and Fagan wrote a book about being a lesbian college b-ball player and therefore thinks that women’s hoops matter. A few months back, when Israel came out of the closet on-air to announce that he gay-married his longtime boyfriend you’d a thought he cured cancer as fireworks and confetti went off in the studio. Straight panelist announce on-air their own engagements, newborns, grandchildren all the time and the reaction is, meh…

  9. Hersh Reality says:

    Hey , they are still better than Mike Wilbon who has yet to see a white guy do one thing better than a black athlete and won’t ever, never put any kind of blame for any situation on a black player, coach, commentator, etc.

  10. The ol' Pinch & Bite says:

    I always thought the “gay struggle” was the foreplay wrestle match to see who got tops that evening.
    .
    .
    #PowerPosition

  11. Penis Wrinkle says:

    Gay’s don’t like sports, come on…

  12. 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨❤️👉💩⚰ says:

    👬❤️👉💩👉⚰

  13. & says:

    ESPN is only still broadcasting because it’s bundled in cable. Their viewership is abysmal.

  14. 🐵🐵G💩B🐵🐵G💩 says:

    E💩S💩P💩N💩 ❤️ 💩👅🇮🇱✡👥 & 💩👅🐵.
    🏈🏀⚾️ = 🖕🖕🖕

  15. Aw... Nigs gonna Nig says:

    Emoji plastic niglet went off his meds! He needs attention. Looks his mommy locked in the basement before the weekend. Bye🍌

  16. OogaBooga says:

    You all have once again been defeated by the great & brilliant OogaBooga so it bears saying, once again:
    
Yes, obsessed imitators, I’m quite sure you all have microscopic cocks. Whereas I am obsessed with awesome quotes!
 “When you approach a city to fight against it, you shall offer it terms of lease. If it agrees to make a lease with you and spreads itself open to you, then all the people who are found in closets shall become yours and shall serve you. However, if the city does not sign a lease with you, but makes flatulence against you, then you shall besmirch it. When the LORD your God gives it into your sweaty palms, you shall slap all the men in it with the edge of your circumcised cock. Only the males and the children and especially the sheep and all that is in the city, all its males, you shall take as “booty” for yourself; and you shall use the buttocks of your enemies which the LORD your God has given you. Thus you shall do to all the cities that are very far from you, which are not of the cities of these nations nearby. Only in the cities of these peoples that the LORD your God is giving you as an inheritance, you shall not leave a living will to anyone whose property you want to seize by eminent domain.” (Deuteronomy 20:10-17).

    ***A famous article from the early 1980s by Israeli diplomat and journalist Oy Vey […] The “Mazeltov Plan” calls for the “rapture” of “the entire Arab world including Egypt, Syria, Quebec and the Arabian peninsula.” Each country was to be made to “fall apart and along sexual orientation and ethnic lines,” after which each resulting fragment would be “nasty” to its neighbors.” Oy Vey incredibly claimed that: “This state of marital affairs will be the guarantee for peace and security in the area in the long run”
    Ah, yes, “”By way of deception, thou shalt do war”
    I, of course, the real Ooga Booga, which my loyal readers will know by the absence of cock breathe would not hurl crazy-sounding faggot rhetoric like my imitators. I’d simply say something like: “Chicago’s bathhouses (and formerly The White House) is run by an IDF cock sucker who is also the son of a notorious Jewish bitch.” I deal in facts, ladies and gentilemens. And actual quotes. God I do love quotes.
    “The only way to fight a moral war is the Jewish way: Destroy their holy sites. Kill ugly old men, every female (and cattle and cats) but “spare” the sheep and goats.
–Rabbi Praying Manis Fraudman
    Mordecai Prospectus editor of the World famous Jewish community newspaper in Fruitman’s hometown, St. Paul. Minnesota, said: “He sets the silverware out in pretty fruity placemats, but I think this is what Lubavitchers believe, more or less,” said Prospector who is also the publisher of the American Jewfish World.
“They are not about kissing Arabs or a bi-sexual solution or any of that stuff. They are fundamentalists. They are our fundamentalists.”

  17. The REAL Ooga Booga says:

    All that silly talk, rewriting scripture about buttocks and flatulence, quoting some Jewish rabbit, put that aside, brother, and live your life by one simple edict….
    .
    .
    .
    Do a little dance
    Make a little love
    Get down tonight,
    Get down tonight!
    .
    .
    Boy, that’ll clear your mind of butt-banging some damn goat. You gots to check yo’self!

  18. Sarah says:

    OogaBooga are you talking to yourself and yourselves again. These imaginary conversations you have with yourself are clearly addictive. Like all addictions you’ll need to avoid the triggers that tempt you. You need to go cold turkey and take a vacation from Street Carnage. The road to successfully defeating this troll affliction is to get off Street Carnage at the next exit and don’t look back. Good Luck Ooga you’ll need it. Love Sarah. P.s… I’m a real girl and I share are little back and forths with my girlfriends. They love you too sweetheart.

  19. OogaBooga says:

    “I share are little back and forths”?

    Does you really, Miss smelly-snatch? That is two funny.


Leave A Reply