Ryan Dunn dies in a fatal car crash; Roger Ebert and the Westboro Baptist Church weigh in.
Here’s the deal with Ryan Dunn:
Q. Is Jackass fucking awesome and one of the greatest American punk rock success stories ever?
Q. Was Ryan Dunn hilarious and a great guy in real life, beloved universally by his friends and family who are now gutted and in mourning?
Q. Since some of the Street Carnage crew is friends with some of the Jackass crew, do I have to watch what I say?
A. Mmm, nah. I think I can speak freely.
Q. Was Roger Ebert a douchebag for posting his now infamous tweet?
A. He really was. It’s baffling to me that a lot of people are defending Ebert because he was right about the fact that drunk driving is bad.
The fuck? Heroin is bad too, would you go into a Heroin Addict’s funeral with a megaphone and tell his mom, “WELL YA SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SHOOT SMACK, I JUST WANT TO TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY–” fuck off.
(You might disrupt a funeral, however, if you’re the Westboro Baptist Church, who is now planning to picket Ryan Dunn’s memorial services. They’ve done far worse when they decided to protest the funeral of the 9-year-old girl killed by Jared Lougner in Tuscon’s Giffords shooting, but this is still pretty fucked up.
Hint: They will do this forever as long as it gets them the media exposure they’re after and each ingeniously evil funeral protest is too juicy for the media not to cover, so expect this cycle to go on forever.)
Q. Don’t get so fucking uppity: What about your dumb ass jokes about Ryan?
A. Totally different story. For humorists, there’s no such thing as TOO SOON. There’s a big difference between the tradition of making light of ANY situation via comedy and being an utterly serious, preachy moralizing insensitive cunt.
Q. Is Roger Ebert pretty damn hard to look at these days?
A. He really is. Look.
Q. What about the fact that Ryan Dunn killed an innocent person? He could have killed more!
A. An innocent person? You mean the drinking buddy that was in a car with him doing 130 in a Porsche at 2:30 A.M.? The guy or girl riding shotgun wasn’t kidnapped; this was just a party that went bad.
Q. Don’t you have anything negative to say about this guy? He was a fucking drunk driver who could have driven into a school bus.
A. Yeah, here’s my negativity: Ryan Dunn lived in a world of invincibility. He was one of the five richest and most famous stuntmen of all time, and proved he was invincible for a living, in stunt after stunt for over a decade.
He was like Dale Earnhardt Jr. without any pretense of a finish line; like Evel Knievel if the daredevil had his cocaine dick sucked by every teenager in every shopping mall in America.
Bam Margera’s tweet though, about “millions” of people crying over Ryan Dunn’s death, is a pretty good illustration of what fame does to the human brain: It heightens one’s sense of self-importance to a level that makes a certain perception of invincibility inevitable.
Society gave Ryan fame and a Porsche, and he drove it off a cliff. It’s not hard to see how it could happen, but it’s still a tragedy for his friends and his family. It’s true that Ryan’s death provides an important teaching opportunity (let’s all take a moment of silence to remember what cars can do), but no one should be screaming at his friends and family about what a monster he was.
I don’t expect civility and taste from the Westboro Baptist Church; I guess I was wrong to have hoped for more from an alcoholic .