Posted by
TV Carnage
• 09.30.08 11:30 am


Sex is so September, 2008.The new sex is all about denying urges. Even Ted Danson has turned in his license to screw after realizing inserting his erections into holes is primitive and stupid. There are new, modern ways to have sex that are fun and loaded with frustration. Like kissing, hugging, making out or the most satisfying of all; holding hands. What could be more enjoyable than sexual arousal and then stopping, other than winning millions in a lottery and never claiming the prize? That would be so almost sexually awesome too. Leave sex where it belongs, with stupid, less evolved animals dumbbell.



Comments
  1. Teddy Ruxpin says:

    Argyle and Plants make this video sooo sexy.

  2. Chachi and Detective Foster says:

    I realized that Ted Danson’s outfit is not too far from my style. But seriously folks, this is why I decided to hold hands with New Wave Hookers Part II.

  3. carolina says:

    New Wave Hookers 2 is for punkasse bitches. Nothing beats the original (with Traci Lords loli).

  4. crampon says:

    is looking at old school traci lords movies considered loli? i mean she was not like “hey i’m underage, let’s fuck” will chris hansen come find me if i’m fappin to some vintage lords skeet flicks?

  5. BennyBoy says:

    nice kicks!

  6. imbored says:

    you know who has hands?…the devil! and he uses them for the holdin’

  7. Taeil says:

    Didn’t Ted leave his wife for Whoopi Goldberg? Man, she must have been REALLY good at holding hands.

  8. Berlinthenewyork says:

    we loved his ‘dark face”in Europe and Quebec. It was so wrong and genius and misunderstood and tragically naive. But Whoopi was into it and even though he is a “white guy” from tv, it was deep and pretty smart /relevant in its antagonism. We need mores pricks ( street carnage) and less smallpox pretending to be blankets in politics. Let’s encourage debate and not encourage silencing honest exploration. If we all exist beyond ego and politics and be patient with ignorance, it might be a better outcome.
    I am French Canadian female “babe” and I love PINKY, that funny asshole. studying tv carnage is should be in every university as a course.PHD!

  9. patrickteque says:

    wh-why don’t we just toss this over here?

  10. Chachi and Det. Foster says:

    Not with me, dumb-bell.

  11. DeathSquad says:

    Sweet kicks Becker!

  12. the brown note says:

    i heard that ted danson has an extremely small penis. like, thimble-sized. just sayin’.


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