Posted by
Gavin
• 05.29.09 03:00 pm


All right guys, please stop asking me what you’re cum face should be. I have explained this one million times. You do the classic “Gamebob Solution”

All right guys, please stop asking me what you’re cum face should be. I have explained this one million times. You do the classic “Gamebob Solution” which is to make a face like you’re the devil and exhale via grunting sounds. Girls will think it’s intense and tell their friends about it. This is called “pussy marketing” and will lead to more lays.

That’s not what today’s episode is about. Today’s episode is about how to physically express yourself while being pleasured by a woman (blowjob or handjob or even non-contact orgasm).

This “dance” is broken up into two parts. One: When you’re receiving her pleasures, you want to point your toes and get your legs up high. This shows her that she’s making your whole body quiver and you appreciate that giving. Two: When you feel the bubbling in your upper prostate leak towards the circumference of your turgid testicles, that means fruition is coming. This is where you want to take it to the next level and arch your back as much as possible. When your body feels the semen pee into her mouth or on her face (or even her eyebrows!) you want to let out a primal scream (primal scream!) that brings the past 40,000 years of orgasms right back to the future where it started.

FUCK UP: The camera crew was not very professional and lost control towards the end of my talk. What was cut is this: After orgasming on her, you want to put your feet together high in the air, scoop your arms around your underknees, roll to the side and just b-r-e-a-t-h-e. This is your time to relax and it behooves your spouse to just caress your lower buttocks and make tickle motions as you let air go in and out of your lungs and slowly land back on earth like that 80s video game Tranquility Base.

Happy Cunting!


Comments
  1. too long says:

    im gonna break kayfabe here: i read it.

  2. Vane$$a says:

    goot one. you do yoga?

  3. Dork says:

    Damn! That was super special.

  4. homeless says:

    no video! bummer

  5. pingpong says:

    I’m sure it was a great video before the terms of use violation

  6. New Orc Times says:

    “Gavin Was A Terms Of Use Violation”

  7. Corned Beef says:

    Guilt makes people be funny.

  8. reach and wrong says:

    i think i just blew my load

  9. Satan Davis Jr. says:

    i feel like every load i ever shot just flew back into my urethra upon watching this. thanks.

  10. Not A Tree says:

    I am literally on the verge of puking right now. Like, seriously. I can feel all the chunks in the back of my throat right now.

  11. kipper says:

    I love that your kids are going to see this one day.

  12. fuckface says:

    gavin mcinnes: eyeball rapist.

  13. HalfAfrican says:

    He be packin’ ++++++—–) [Gavin’s weewee]

    Pluss, what’s your grooming sitch?

    Nary a leg hair to be found. Confusing.

  14. Max says:

    Picture 15 of those Gavin’s doing the archway power-yoga cumming positions in a row. Then picture your Mom running through those tunnels of Gavin’s in a white suit, Top hat and shit. Then picture your Dad all turned on because Gavin made him moist. It’s a sick world.

  15. SHITCOCK says:

    You’re like the [name of famous male russian ballet dancer from the 70s/80s] of cumming.

  16. haha says:

    was beckles holding the camera for this?

  17. BARYSHNIKOV says:

    how dare you

  18. Boy George says:

    Hahaahaha… Gav you´re gross but I love you anyway

  19. Chester Desmond says:

    this video creeped me out

  20. vegan jules says:

    this looks horrid. I’m not even bored enough to watch this. No thank you mister.

  21. What? says:

    “you’re cum face”?

  22. Fagbreath says:

    Don’t you people have better shit to be doing?

  23. HOLY SHIT OMG I AM TRIPPING SO HARD RIGHT NOW. I CANT EVEN WATCH THE WHOLE VIDEO BECAUSE I KEEP REWINDING IT TO 57 SECONDS IN. THAT “POP” SOUND EFFECT AHAHAHAHA FTW!!!
    Boss, not for nothing, but i don’t know if i keep coughing because i’ve been high for three days straight or because i’m kinda grossed out…but in a good way? Both!
    LULS4LYFE

  24. Anonymous says:

    good shit, mon.

  25. French Ass Raper says:

    I’d hit dat.


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