Posted by
White Lightning
• 01.22.10 11:13 am


I recently coined a term to help me get to the bottom of these uncomfortable but REALLY REAL crotchthrobbing situations that I seem to find myself in from time to time, but feel fully unable to admit in mixed company: SHAMELUST.

I recently coined a term to help me get to the bottom of these uncomfortable but REALLY REAL crotch-throbbing situations that I seem to find myself in from time to time, but feel fully unable to admit in mixed company: SHAMELUST.

Are you confused? Let me give you context: I seriously want to bang Kid Rock, and it really hurts to say that out loud. (That feeling? SHAMELUST!) I re-watched the YouTube of Kid & dude from Creed (also an acceptable Shamelust candidate) getting tour bus beejers recently and was totally into it on a level that I maybe shouldn’t feel OK with admitting to anyone — even just my own self in the mirror (oopsydoops, too late now).

When I threw this topic out on twitter a little while ago and invited the people of the Internets to join me in freeing themselves of these painful secret bang fantasies, I was at first disappointed by the @replies I was getting: “The Jonas Brothers, lol,” “Chace Crawford,” “Justin Bobby.”

You guys. C’mon.

Wanting to TOUCH IT on one of the Jonases is not shamelusty; they are major pop stars! Justin Bobby is bonafide hot as fuck! That is the status quo of regs lust for most of Amurrrica. For SHAMELUST you have to reach deeper. You need to admit the person (or thing, or … scent) that makes you wanna get nakes and that admittance must make you gag. And then you have shamelusted — congrats!

EXAMPLES OF SHAMELUST (for the record, mostly not MINE; mine are marked with an asterisk for those of you that need this information for your REALLY FUCKING UNIMPORTANT INFORMATION file in your references)


Jon Gosselin


Meat Loaf


Artie Lang*


The Situation


Anyone on Jersey Shore


Adam Duritz


Val Kilmer (now)



Hasidim*



Chad from Million Dollar Listing*



Chuck Scarborough*



Bruce Vilanch


Brandon Davis



2(x)ist


Vili Faalaau



Joey Fatone


Larry King



Mr Belding



Jeffrey Tambor*


Bret Michaels (now)



Moby


Peter Griffin



Fat KFed


Spencer Pratt


Duggar Dad


Peter André


Emeril Lagasse



Scott Storch


Jamie Kennedy


Stephen Baldwin

… The list is sort of endless, if you really get your dirty filthy mind going.

ONE IMPORTANT NOTE:

I really feel like there is a zenith, a SHAMELUST SUMMIT … and that man, the “ring” of SHAMLUSTERY, he who rules them all is: Adnan Ghalib.

Once you have admitted that you want to fuck that dude, you could tell us all that you blow up kittens and make the remains into tacos for the homeless and we would all basically shrug.

Please, use the oh-so-open and free and loving safe space of the Street Carnage comments to air your shamelust. Be free, and show us all how deeply disturbed you really are.

Love,
-WHITE LIGHTNING
feelslikewhitelightning.blogspot.com


Comments
  1. Charles says:

    Okay, here goes . . . kill youself.

  2. DJ Chick says:

    Does Tony Soprano count? I mean, he’s a real man but he’s also bald, ugly, and fat as shit.

  3. homeless. says:

    dude, FAT KFED!!! is that fucking real. hahahahahaha

  4. Anonymous says:

    Tony Soprano on Halloween.

  5. Hubert Wang says:

    http://www.dlisted.com/files/openpostjamesgandolfini1.jpg <–Tony Soprano Halloween costume.

    &

    Fatter, act cleaned up asking for support from Elton John Eminem. Wanna do him.

  6. just a cunt hair away says:

    “I really feel like there is a zenith, a SHAMELUST SUMMIT … and that man, the “ring” of SHAMLUSTERY, he who rules them all is: WHITE LIGHTNING.”

  7. Arv's Mom's Testicles says:

    Golda Meir…she still loves it up the ass

  8. Gretta says:

    Is it gross that Clint Eastwood still makes me hot even though he’s 1,000?

  9. Atheist says:

    Baldwin is on TV daily in the UK – Big Brother. He is one weird mother.

  10. Zippy says:

    Two minutes after tha Val Kilmer photo was taken, a group of concerned environmental activists feverisly worked to push him out to sea so that he could rejoin his pod.

  11. Super Broker says:

    Fuck yeah, fat KFed. I would pour a half-gallon of lube over that mound and ride it into next week.

  12. Ernest Queefingway says:

    Amanda Lepore.

  13. Adam says:

    Val Kilmer looks like a penguin.

  14. This is so brillz….Yeah, I have total shamelust for Artie Lange, fat K.Fed (don’t judge), and Ronnie from Jersey Shore. Also, maybe Mario Batali- mostly because he could serve me some meatballs post-coitus.

  15. sass says:

    Fat Joe!

  16. lolclintonhill says:

    matt berry…all four feet of him!

  17. Drippy dog dix and cum bubbles or something says:

    I’m not sure I feel this new emotion so much. But if I did, it would be Shauna Sand for her cartoony, over-the-top, Holly-whore qualities.*

    *extra points for being a brainless, shitty mom.

  18. fizzlebottom says:

    Vili Faalaau was really the icing on the sundae there.

  19. Esther says:

    I’m french and do NOT know who the fuck are these guys but I guess my shamelust is Sheldon on Big bang Theory. It’s a bit like pedophilia no?

  20. Anonymous says:

    jim goad

  21. Anonymous says:

    Tim Roth.

  22. lol says:

    Gavin McInnes

  23. stoops says:

    laura bush

  24. no.thanks. says:

    oh shit, im dying from laughter.

    can we do a guys version of this?
    just because we’re men doesnt mean that we dont discriminate when it comes to women.

    however, there is a whole blog dedicated to the males perspective and its found here:

    http://idontcareifyouwouldntiwould.blogspot.com/?zx=1c684dda6c4c94ba

  25. Anonymous says:

    Yum. Lots of chubs and bears. They are the best to have sex with and if you aren’t having sex with one now, you are wasting your time.

  26. WeeTard says:

    Uhm peter griffin is a cartoon….you cant have sex with a cartoon idiot.

  27. dyingoflaughter says:

    hetero male & my shamelustlist is all skanky comics: Sandra Bernhard, Kathy Griffin (voice & all!), Kennedy from MTV back in the day (glasses on, byatch!), Janine Garofalo

  28. Frank DeFalco says:

    Lindsey Lohan, Heidi Montag, Shaunna Sand, Tara Reid, etc., etc. Basically, any trashy celebrity who is somewhat hot.

  29. bobby says:

    My shamelust is Ann Coulter.

  30. no.thanks. says:

    mmmmm ann coulter.

    id be all “call me dirty ethnic slurs, and make it sting”

  31. C and the MS-13s says:

    Daisy from Daisy of Love (don’t argue–she looks like a cartoon fish).

  32. pheeb says:

    Dr. Drew from Celebrity Rehab.

  33. Radtooth says:

    Travis Barker, in full Aquabats regale.

  34. steph says:

    What about DON DELOUISE?? He smells like cheese, ie = sex

  35. Wack-boy says:

    Couldn’t be bothered reading but the pic of Val on the beach was worth the scroll through. Oh, Billy Baldwin had a very nice blazer on.

  36. inkie says:

    Larry David does it for me. He is so anal and annoying it turns me on.

  37. Beverly says:

    Artie Lang is the only man my boyfriend said I could have a free pass to get it on with. Others include Ed O’Neill now and Bundy days, especially the Bundy days, and Mario Batali, even with the orange Crocs.

  38. Javonavo says:

    what the fuck if up with Larry King’s head?

  39. Taeil says:

    Looks like somebody is a chubby chaser. Is it possible for guys to have a shamelust? I notice Ann Coulter is up there but c’mon. Would anyone go for Dr. Ruth or Or Roseanne? Be a bit more shameful.

  40. Shame says:

    Courtney Love.

  41. Rrhea McCoy says:

    Hahahahahaha. Sure

  42. Rrhea McCoy says:

    omg I need to poop so bad… bring me the american flag, plese

  43. Your Dad says:

    Lady Gaga and Snookie!

    I wanna pound that li’l thang.

  44. girlfag says:

    I’d like the male cast of Jersey Shore to pull a train on me- the VD would be totes worth it to see Ronnie smile.

    If I was d00d, I’d like to fuck J-Timberlake up the ass.

    Also, Mormon missionaries.

  45. C and the MS-13s says:

    I should also add the octomom to this.

  46. ZOGISTAN says:

    Katie Jordan, only if Katie Jordan is female.

  47. Kennedy says:

    Rhea Perlman

    Runners up include: Bai Ling and the original spit target Xtina Aguilera.

  48. Anonymous says:

    agree with larry king and the situation. one in the front and one in the back, all fucking night long. meow.

    duggar dad? now that’s some seriously sick shit.

  49. Coke Ennyday says:

    the senator klobachur. I see her sometimes, she has art school glasses

  50. gregor says:

    sue johansson

  51. anon says:

    Al Bundy, yes, but he isn’t even a shameful fuck.
    Norm from Cheers.
    Any doood with a huge mustache (like Geraldo Rivera). Gross.

  52. Coke Ennyday says:

    michelle bachman

  53. fizzlebottom says:

    Anne Frank, Nancy Reagan & Thatcher, any girl with Cerebral Palsy

  54. skull front says:

    there’s no place for us

  55. Sophie says:

    anderson cooper. is it bad that when i was watching “hope for haiti now” last night he was making me hot?

  56. fizzlebottom says:

    Natalie Portman in The Professional, Luna Lovegood, girls with Down’s Syndrome, Terri Schiavo(pre- and post-vegetable duh), Judi Dench, also might of had a thing for Rosie O’Donnell when I was younger. See, Shamelust only works for men if it’s really creepy and illegal or close enough.

  57. Jessica Klynsma says:

    @Taeil We decided guys can’t really shamelust. You’d put it in anything without batting a lash and then brag about it the next day. Even Aileen Wuornos…

    I got dibs on ICE CUBE, Alice Cooper, The Gonz

  58. Narwhal says:

    So glad none of these guys even get an inkling of lust out of me. Just gross.

  59. Vane$$a says:

    My best friend’s fat, bitchy wife.

  60. Vane$$a says:

    Just occurred to me that Tiger Woods is a shamefuck adict.

  61. Vane$$a says:

    Oh, I’m sorry. Did I say “shamefuck?” My fault. OJ Simpson too.

  62. Yesy'all says:

    Gayle & Oprah makin’ a yesy’all sambitch. Word

  63. hippies suck but charles manson rules says:

    DAVID CARUSO

  64. LCC says:

    There’s no shame about responding to Meat Loaf. He’s a sexual man.

  65. Barnard Animals says:

    Jeff Corwin is shamelusting Adam Duritz’s head

  66. deeznutz says:

    you. white chick lightning. checked out your blog and yeah, gotta go with you, center square, for the win. or lose.

  67. 7.0 in Williamsburg says:

    yup. took you all about 3 days to stop weeping for haiti and git on with the meaty issues that drive your passionately informed lives.

  68. X says:

    ^ Your mom has a meaty issue.

  69. ew says:

    i’m totes late to this par-TAY but bill paxton. however, i’m not remotely ashamed to admit it.

  70. Vane$$a says:

    Corky.

  71. Coke Ennyday says:

    TLC’s the half ton teen

  72. Bored Shopgirl says:

    Taliban lust…particularly the hot rapey one from the Kite Runner movie.

  73. Bored Shopgirl says:

    And midget lust…Peter Dinklage

  74. JANKINS says:

    uugh i feel like puking. all those dudes SUCK.

  75. Vane$$a says:

    Mrs. Garret from Different Strokes and that boarding school spin off. Ah fuck it, the entire casts of both shows, Gary Coleman and Conrad Bain included.

  76. Anonymous says:

    oh yeah, that newest housewife from orange county. that taliban-looking faux christian pig of a husband of hers. oh my, but yes.

  77. Anonymous says:

    ron perlman. mickey o’rourke. basically, any burly dude old enough to be my father who somewhat resembles beef jerky.

  78. Vane$$a says:

    A threesome with the lead singer from CREED and Eddie Vedder. They’d have a contest to see whose dick is the “least small.”

  79. Anonymous says:

    great blog, whitelightning.

    “HEAD TO MOTHERFUCKING ARMADILLO TOE!”

    indeed.

  80. DDAARREENN says:

    The new Joan Rivers

  81. teenagepants says:

    Seriously needed a term for this because my list is out the fuck of control. All you need to know is that number one is Billy Bob Thornton in Slingblade.

  82. Poo say says:

    Bruno Tonioli

  83. KUNTZ says:

    mother theresa (now)

  84. I dreamed a shamelust says:

    Two words-Susan Boyle

  85. […] v. coined by fashion/pop culture blogger White Lightning in a post she wrote for Street Carnage, this word is used to describe being totally disgusted and attracted […]

  86. […] coined by fashion/pop culture bloggerWhite Lightning in a post she wrote forStreet Carnage, this word is used to describe being totally disgusted and attracted […]

  87. […] upon hearing it: Shamelust v. coined by fashion/pop culture blogger White Lightning in a post she wrote for Street Carnage , this word is used to describe being totally disgusted and attracted […]

  88. (swag) says:

    ann coulter, julianne o’moore (actually hot though), ellen barkin

  89. fjkld;aq says:

    Steve. Buscemi.

  90. […] The word shamelust was invented by Elizabeth Olson, whose personal shamelust was Kid Rock. Here’s the thing: it can’t just be someone who is widely considered attractive, but maybe a little borderline, like Jeff Goldblum or Benedict Cumberbatch. Olson explains: […]

  91. […] The word shamelust was invented by Elizabeth Olson, whose personal shamelust was Kid Rock. Here’s the thing: it can’t just be someone who is widely considered attractive, but maybe a little borderline, like Jeff Goldblum or Benedict Cumberbatch. Olson explains: […]

  92. […] The word shamelust was invented by Elizabeth Olson, whose personal shamelust was Kid Rock. Here's the thing: it can't just be someone who is widely considered attractive, but maybe a little borderline, like Jeff Goldblum or Benedict Cumberbatch. Olson explains: […]


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