The blowback against Neil deGrasse Tyson has picked up its pace and that’s great news for anyone who appreciates the joy of being alive.
Even Wired got in on the act, with a piece trashing the doctor for being an extraordinary bore, one who reduces everything beautiful and lovely to its blandest and most uninteresting.
Tyson is an expert at professionally boring everyone, but he does it with a sense of smugness that the rest of the Internet neckbeard collective can’t get enough of. He’s the living embodiment of reddit’s /r/atheism and /r/politics, a physical manifestation of the phrase “Um, actually.”
It’s really a delight to see people waking up to the lameness of scientists. Nerds belong in labs or basements, not as the subject of memes. Science is extraordinarily useful. Scientists are extraordinarily lame, but they make science, so they have worth to society. Somehow Tyson slipped out of the science part and society accepted it. “Oh cool, this science dude is talking about science!” was the common reaction for a while.
It couldn’t possibly last. I’ll give you an example from my own youth. In grade school, spontaneously and without explanation, our entire class accepted one of the greasiest nerds as normal. We let go our childhood prejudices, and found him to be funny and disarmingly charming.
But he got too comfortable, and went too far. Everyone was OK looking past his weird bell-bottom pants, but then he would eat cupcakes with the paper on, or drop a Dorito on the floor just to show everyone it didn’t gross him out to pick it up and eat it.
Tyson is that nerd who went to my elementary school. His dry and uninteresting take on everything is the same as eating a dirty Dorito: gross and off-putting. Go away, nerd!
The entire “skeptical movement” is filled with the same boring people who love to shit on everything right and lovely. They can’t shit on stuff that sucks, because then they’d need to shit all over themselves like some skeptic tubgirl. We need to stop listening to anything they say outside of the confines of laboratory settings. It’s like your favorite comedian spewing politics on Twitter. Shut the fuck up.
Probably 2% of these skeptic dweebs actually contribute to the advancement of anything useful. The rest are just friendless dorks who need something to lift their spirits after a lifetime of wedgies and ostracization. They glom onto skepticism so they can turn every argument into a discussion about logical fallacies. Here’s a rhetoric pro-tip: when you start talking about logical fallacies instead of the subject at hand, you don’t look smart. You magnify how annoying you are.
Since Neil deGrasse Tyson is the unofficial leader of friendless pedants everywhere, it’s great to see public sentiment turning against him. Go back to your planetarium and jerk off to some quasars, you fucking dweeb!