I think you’re a total asshole for calling me an asshole, even if I called you an asshole first.
I think you’re a total asshole for calling me an asshole, even if I called you an asshole first. But you acted like an asshole first—you were behaving in an assholish sort of way, and simply because I stated this fact, because I brought words and truth together, that doesn’t make me an asshole. I would have to do something assholian in order to earn the title “asshole,” not merely point out that you were acting like one.
To be honest, I didn’t really even care that you were acting like an asshole. As long as I could state my feelings about how you were acting, I was fine. But then you had to go and act like a Double Asshole just because I called you an asshole.
That’s when you started calling me an asshole. So I said, “Fine, go ahead and call me an asshole—I don’t agree with you,” and in your eyes, that made me an even bigger asshole, when in my eyes, it only made you look like the real asshole in this situation.
The way I see it, only one of us can be the real asshole, and that asshole is you. I didn’t want you to be the asshole. I have nothing invested in your being an asshole. So why you got to be an asshole about this?