Posted by
Street Carnage
• 01.16.13 11:00 pm

Hoping to create a sufficiently deformed child, a South African woman chugs a potent cocktail of alcohol and battery acid.

Moms in South Africa—which, according to many maps, is located in the southern part of Africa—are reportedly “drinking heavily” so they can squeeze out deformed babies and collect heftier welfare checks.

Each deformed baby yields the mom nearly an extra 1000 rand of public assistance per month, which is roughly an extra hundred bucks. (The “rand” is the South African currency named after sociopathic and highly selfish Jewish philosopher Ayn Rand, who was reportedly a speed freak that drank heavily and deliberately farted on public elevators.) In many of South Africa’s poorer villages, a hundred bucks is, like, enough to buy the entire village. (They also say that in Africa, it takes a village to raise a child, so we’re assuming it takes a whole country to make a chair.)

Some women are reportedly going the extra mile and mixing their alcoholic swill with battery acid to ensure that the baby comes out as fuckin’ deformed as possible.

South Africa also boasts some of the world’s highest rates of rape and murder. It’s a good thing they freed Nelson Mandela, or it’s possible that none of this would be happening.


  1. r knuckleberry says:

    Geek Love

  2. raymi says:

    Afraid to ask what these babies turn out like.

  3. what the shit are you talking about says:

    Rand takes its name from the Witwatersrand (White-waters-ridge in English), the ridge upon which Johannesburg is built and where most of South Africa’s gold deposits were found.

  4. Lunchin' says:

    I’m going to need you to go ahead and provide a citation for the farting on elevators source.

  5. Sniffy says:

    Rape, murder and AIDS. Civilized indeed.

  6. baffled says:

    does anybody know what the point of Raymi is? i went to her blog but that didn’t really help.does she participate in all three dimensions or is it actually possible to exist on/in that level of shallowness?

  7. Battery acid… Didn’t hipster youth claim that drinking battery acid was fashionable sometime in the mid 2000s? Oh no wait, that was Sparks.

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