As if the mariachi music and diarrhea-inducing food aren’t bad enough, Mexicans also have to worry about losing their heads.
This month alone, 81 people have been found sans noggin on different places in Mexico. At the same time, a new gruesome decapitation video has found its way to the Internet, satisfying the sick souls who are tired of the last one.
Growing up, Mexico to me was cliff divers in Acapulco, Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass, and beautiful señoritas who giggle a lot.
Not unless the cliff divers, Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass, and the señoritas have no heads, which would pretty much ruin the whole thing.
It’s starting to look like the drug cartels aim to behead the whole damn nation. Soon you won’t be able to throw a rock in Mexico without hitting someone’s decapitated head. Imagine getting late for work because you had to remove heads from your car. Not fun.
While a lot of the victims are themselves gang members, and thus dying by the sword they live by, there’s also plenty of civilian casualties. Recently, the drug cartels have started murdering bloggers.
Sure, bloggers are annoying, but this is ridiculous!
Here in safe, penis-shaped Norway, I’m celebrating the 17th of May, our national Constitution day. I’ll celebrate my country, but most of all, I’ll celebrate the fact that I don’t live in fucking Mexico.
Thank you for not being Mexico, Norway.