Posted by
John Pittsley
• 06.30.16 06:29 pm


I don’t understand the obsession with getting pissed at cranky old men. If their opinions don’t matter, then why lose your shit over what they think?

Plenty of people are of the opinion that the elderly don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about, and those people would be absolutely right. Old people’s time has come and gone and the only reason they’re still around is because we don’t put them on rafts and send them out to see like the Vikings did. Some may try to tell you our nation’s seniors are a wonderful resource, who we can all learn something from, and that may very well be the case with some. Most however, aren’t filled with as much wisdom and love as we’re lead to believe. The majority of them are miserable pieces of shit, who know only that death awaits them. These awful cunts want nothing more than to see everyone else suffer along with them, and pissing youngsters off does exactly that.

While stupid, slow, and annoying as fuck, getting upset with the elderly only makes a young chap look as confused and senile as them. Old people are as meaningless as a wet leaf on the sidewalk. Sure, they may show up to voting booths in droves but who gives a crap about that? No one should pay any attention to them. When dealing with a person, who’s at death’s doorstep, it can be easy for one to lose their patience. But it’s important to remember they’re physically and mentally inferior to everyone else, except a toddler. They may be on the same intellectual level as retards but they wouldn’t stand a chance in a fistfight with one. At any given moment you could absolutely fucking murder them, both literally and figuratively. But why bother? Letting them deal with their shitty existence and laughing at them is a million times better.

Some dipshits feel as though they need to inform the elderly as to what is and isn’t an acceptable thing to say. As though they’re going to open their minds and look at the world differently, but no one’s going to change an old person’s opinion. They’re set in their ways and even hate there’s any other options. They still eat the same shitty food and wear all the uncomfortable clothes from their own time. If they’re unwilling to wear a sweater that doesn’t make them itchy or eat food that actually tastes good, how the fuck are they supposed to admit they’ve been wrong all these years? Trying to change an old tymer’s point of view isn’t just useless it’s self-defeating.

A youngster shouldn’t want to share the same views as a senior citizen. They should be doing everything in their ability to do the opposite of them. It’s a good sign when someone hears a decrepit old man say something they disagree with, it means they’re not old yet. Young people should be pissing old people off, not the other way around. The best way to do that is by paying as little attention to them as possible and laughing at them, instead of letting them get to you. When a whippersnapper allows an old tymer to get under their skin, they’re giving them what little satisfaction they have left before dying.

It may be comforting to think of old people as wise and loving beings, who have lived fulfilling lives and come to terms with the sweet kiss of death but that isn’t the case. Most are miserable dicks and it’s for the better. By doing so, they help others build a thick skin and measure where they are in life. Whether they mean to or not. We should all be thankful for it, just don’t let them know.


  1. SpaceKook12 says:

    Is that why they ironically call it Viking Cruise Line since it’s usually filled with old retirees? Actually I like the way the Eskimos got rid of their useless Mother-in-laws by setting them adrift on chunks of Ice to become a chicken wing snack for a Polar bear or better yet get swallowed whole by a passing Killer Whale. Once the old hags teeth wore down from chewing whale blubber in preparing the family meal, they were essentially useless as there’s no food to gather or garden to tend in the Artic tundra.
    Thanks to you, Pittsley, I now understand the origins of that young nigger buck pastime “The knock-out game.” They usually target old white, brown, and yellow people knowing their doing society a favor by potentially killing them, thereby thinning the herd. How thoughtful. They avoid smashing the brains out of old black men since the odds are good it could be that mythical dad they heard about.
    Solyent Green was science fiction but so was a lot of ideas that came to pass like Jules Vernes imagination.
    Recycling worn out carbon based life forms is nothing new as that’s where we get our oil. Thanks Dino’s. The Nazi’s had a crude form of human recycling (soap bars, lamp shades, gold fillings, and their personal effects [ask Soros]) but gave the Green industry a bad name. Since then thanks to the commies the industry rebranded as “environmentally responsible” and it may be time to reintroduce the concept along with Eugenics.
    John I can only hope you live to experience the “golden years” watching your sun set on the bay overlooking the Pacific reminiscing about those fabulous nights in the bathhouses banging yourselves silly. That’s all you’ll have as no young hunk will want to slam your skinny wrinkled Ass no more you “fucking retard, who writes dumb shit about stupid crap.”

  2. JR Wirth says:

    The problem is that old people these days just aren’t as cool as old people 20 years ago. They’re old hippies now. Dirty, disgusting old hippies who’ve learned nothing. As anti-American as ever. Just die already.

    At least in 1988 an old person (like my grandpa) remembered cool shit like laying flappers in 1926 and taking Indiana Jones type trips in the 30’s. Those people are long dead, and were way more cool than old people today. Because they saw 10 times more of what life could do to you…without antibiotics. When a flapper gives you the clap. That’s the clap.

  3. Eric & Lyle Menendez says:

    Most old are morons… They still have rights, or human worth to be sure; but they’re objectively stupid. Sadly these were probably reeee-tah-dead in earlier years, but their spry limber supple bodies of youth enabled them, to pass as idiots. Whizened by ravages of the buffeting time blizzard, their fucking mental inadequacy is now revealed to all. But, They will Brexit your ass

  4. I got the Keys, Dipshit! says:

    Today, alot of young people never bother to learn how to drive a fucking car. Hard to take somebody seriously when you have a heated discussion with them and they end it with, “Hey man, could you give me a ride…?”

  5. dgh says:

    “As anti-American as ever.”

    Anyone who uses “Anti-American” to describe “people I disagree with” are morons. And conservatives (I’m sorry, libertarians) who are all about telling everyone how awful the government (that would be the American government) calling anyone “anti” anything is a fucking riot. You’re such a patriot and so pro-American, then why do you constantly whine about how awful things have been going? Is this the greatest country in the world or does it need to be made great again? You’re smelling your own bullshit for so long you can’t even smell it anymore.

  6. gr says:

    “Today, alot of young people never bother to learn how to drive a fucking car. Hard to take somebody seriously when you have a heated discussion with them and they end it with, ‘Hey man, could you give me a ride…?'”

    Thanks for that pointless anecdote! You really got the best of that imaginary person who needed a ride after you had a heated discussion. I’m certain that actually happened in real life.

  7. JR Wirth says:

    dgh: Are you saying that dirty old hippies aren’t anti-American? Half my teachers were dirty old hippies and let me tell you, they are. Get your head out of your ass. Did I ever say anything about “anti-government?” You punk ass? I’m talking about anti American culture, and the use of government to destroy our culture. You stupid asshole. Apples and oranges. As someone who was marinated in hippie filth and lives in the bay area, hippies…hate….America. They want the world to be Copenhagen….which will be a muslim caliphate one day because dirty hippies destroyed Danish culture too. Heck, dirty hippies even destroyed the culture of machu-piccu by pitching their dirty hippie tents there in 1972, and that culture died thousands of years ago.

    This is the best country despite dirty old hippies, and despite you.

  8. Psychic Circle Jerk says:

    Mangina Monologue.
    Methuselah farrrrrts in Yo face.

  9. I got the Keys, Dipshit! says:

    gr, go play with your phone. Maybe you can find an app to grow yourself a pair.

  10. raymi says:

    this was hilarious

  11. Piero G. says:

    Exactly, old hippies and young hipsters are not doing Copenhagen any favor.
    This said I believe that American old hippies want every US city to resemble more “exotic” (read: decrepit) places like Athens or Bucharest.

  12. The Central Bus says:

    One of the indicia of a decadent society is lack of respect for its elders.

    Atheism, abortion, infanticide, sodomy, sexual perversion, democracy and feminism are a few more. Check your societal decline scorecard and see where you are on the decadence curve.

    When you get your wisdom from nonentities like Kanye West and Miley Cyrus, you have to question yourself.

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