It looks like there’s a growing fascination and importance being put on garbage. Wherever you look, there’s always some company bragging about how much trash they use to make their products or what they’ll be doing with rubbish next. Even local governments are getting in on the action and hitting residents with insane fines for not sorting through their garbage before it gets picked up and sent off to the dump. This may not seem like all too big of a deal in the suburbs or anywhere that’s supposed to look nice but in the city, it’s a bit overkill.
You would think dealing with trash in a responsible manner wouldn’t be all too big of a deal in the city but it’s just going too far. People already have hard enough of a time with the crappy parts of town getting nicer. It doesn’t matter how new they are to the city or how responsible they are for it, almost everyone in the city hates gentrification. Some say they don’t like the idea of a shithole getting less shitty because it forces the less fortunate out of their homes but I get the idea it’s because it makes the city feel less like the city. This could all be avoided however if people stopped caring so much about garbage or littering and realized it’s one of the things that makes the city great.
One of the best ways for a person in the city to go about littering is to just leave their useless crap out on the street. It doesn’t matter if it’s a piss-stained couch or broken coffee machine if you live in the city, slapping a “FREE” sign on that sucker and leaving it on the street is a solid move. Some may consider it a shitty way to deal with your unwanted crap but you’re actually helping out others by putting it up for grabs. There are tons of young people moving to the city every day, who work shitty jobs and are looking for cheap ways to furnish their tiny rat holes. Finding a free couch laying out on the street is a major victory for someone just starting out on their own. When you leave a piece of furniture out on the street, it usually sits there for a few days too. That way, if you change your mind, you can always drag it back inside. Helping out some youngsters by clearing some junk out of your apartment is a nice thing to do but if you’re really feeling generous, throwing any ol’ garbage in the gutter is the way to go.
Littering out in nature might be a shitty thing to do, despite the fact there aren’t any trash cans in the middle of the forest, but that’s only because garbage doesn’t grow on trees and throwing trash all over the place kinda ruins the ambiance. Doing it in the city, on the other hand, not only adds to the ambiance it helps the homeless. Sure, it’s sorta lazy to just drop crap on the street and sidewalk when there’s a garbage can on almost every corner but recyclables are like currency to the homeless and they’re always asking for cigarettes too. Forcing them to dig through the garbage for that shit seems a bit cruel. Leaving cans and bottles in the street is like dropping change in their cups and having soggy half-smoked cigarettes on the ground means you don’t have to deal with them as much. They’ll pick up anything though. They push around shopping carts for Christ’s sakes and it’s not just for recyclables. Those things are always filled with random shit, from stuffed animals to single roller skates. It’s not just your average waste that should be lining the streets, though. People should be fine with human filth too.
I know the boss has already covered How To Piss In Public but no one should have to hide that sort of thing. Maybe if there were kids around, I could see why you wouldn’t want to whip out your schlong and end up on some sort of sexual predator list but kids shouldn’t be in the fucking city in the first place. Taking a dump in the street might be taking it a tad bit too far but why would you want to? That’d be more inconvenient than buying a coffee and taking a shit there. Puking isn’t, you should be able to do that where ever you please. If you’ve had too much candy or beer, all you have to do is ram your fingers down your throat and you’re good as new. You’ll probably even be ready for a few more. The ancient Romans used to do that sort of shit and look how they turned out.