Posted by
D. Eric Beckles
• 04.24.09 08:20 pm

I presume the idiot who invented this thought it was “A-DOOR-BELL” to have dogs press a button to summon their master in order to peel a steaming loaf.

I presume the idiot who invented this thought it was “A-DOOR-BELL” to have dogs press a button to summon their master in order to peel a steaming loaf. Well, dear inventor idiot, you do realize this stupid idea pokes the whole human as Alpha, hierarchy system, right in the bum-bum hole and immediately thrusts the owner into beta, servant territory. Dogs are amazing. There I said it, but to give a dog the electronic power to summon their master with a doorbell is making Pavlov drool in an attempt to impersonate your retardation.
You are teaching a dog that barking is bad and this abstract sound is a very good way to have a caretaker come serve them. The dog isn’t going to think “I can’t abuse this, it’s just for taking a shit” It just thinks “I don’t give a shit, all I know is that this fucking weird sound makes the idiot show up.” So owner of this useless invention, when you here a bell going off every 10 minutes and you are running around like the bastard offspring of Florence and Rochester, it serves you right. You can’t get mad at the dog. You taught “Carmine” to use it. Before you know it “Carmine’ be taking it’s pet steps up to you bred, ringing a bell in your face to bring him the fucking paper.
At least a dog that scratches the door or barks can be told to cool it and you still have this “ I’m the benevolent boss of you” vibe.

This product is depressing Landfilllllllll.


Comments
  1. WELL HERE IS DEREK BICKLES LIKE CLOCK-WORK [STANKLEY KOUBRICK PRESENT'S 'CLOCK-WORK BLACK'] ON A FIRDAY NIGHT, APPEARING LATER THAN USUAL ON FRIDAY BUT SETTING A GOOD PACE HARKING BACK UNTO THE TIME WHEN ‘FAMILY MATTER’S’ WAS ON T.G.I.F. SPEAKING OFF WHICH I REALLY COULD REALLY GO FOR SOME JALAPANO POPPER’S RIGHT NOW BUT I DIGGRESS.

    WELL ANY WAYS WHAT IF YOU WERE AT A PLACE LIKE ‘THE COCK’ [DOES IT EXCIST ANY MORE?] AND SOME GUY WAS LIKE ‘YOU GOT ANY POPPER’S’ AND YOU SAID ‘WELL OF COARSE I DO!’ AND THEN YOU WHIPPED IT OUT AND BY ‘IT’ I MEAN A PLATE OF THOSE POPPER’S FROM T.G.I.F. WELL I THINK IT WOUDL GO DOWN LIKE SCOTT STORTCH AT A BLACK MAN FESTIVAL BUT I DO’NT HAVE ANY EXPERIENCES IN THAT ‘REALM’ SO I CA’NT SAY FOR SURE.SPEAKING OF GAY WHAT IF

  2. Val says:

    Dear Beckles,

    Remember that book you lent me to borrow? Ninjas jumped me last night in Bushwick and stole my bag and phone. That book was in there. RIP.
    i just thought you’d respect that i told this to you over the internet while you were a million miles away instead of waiting for you to get back to Brooklyn.

    xo,
    your pal val

  3. australia says:

    its weird that australia automatically popped up in my udername thing, but its badteeth here.. we gots some business to take care of beckles

  4. French Ass Raper says:

    Your pets are better than you. Let then control you. ITs a better use of your time than posting on streetcarnage.

  5. French Ass Raper says:

    Oh and don’t forget to clean the steaming turds up after they drop em off.

  6. britishbulldog says:

    @ French Ass Raper
    I think you missed the point of how STUPID this invention is.

  7. britishbulldog says:

    PS D.eric I agree. we invent this shit for our amusement. The dog could give a fuck.
    HA HA


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