Posted by
Mike Eide
• 10.12.10 12:00 pm


It is indeed possible to think yourself to death. Thirty-five year old intellectual lone wolf Mitchell Heisman proved just that when he shot himself on the steps of Harvard Memorial Church in front of a tour group.

It is indeed possible to think yourself to death. Thirty-five year old intellectual lone wolf Mitchell Heisman proved just that when he shot himself on the steps of Harvard Memorial Church in front of a tour group. Before doing so, he left ample evidence of exactly how much thinking he did: 1,904 pages worth. Although the quick glance across the table of contents hints at his tome being nothing more than a handwritten phonebook of Mansonisms and Street Carnage comments, this “suicide note” has conversely earned favorable reviews here (and was unsurprisingly panned here).

You need a long breath before you dive into the manifesto, but once you do, you may start to realize that its not the raging, winding spew of psycho-babble you expected it to be, but an eerily calm, murk-free and deep pool of existential theory. For instance, some of the chapters’ titles — “Barack Obama: Supernigger,” “Normans & Nazis,” and “The Seditious Genius of the Spiritual Penis of Jesus” — sound like a complete waste of eyesight, but they are in fact, very engaging and thought provoking essays.

After skimming a hundred or so pages of Heisman’s Bible, I’ve come to the conclusion that this dude had not one romantic bone in his body. He was profoundly intelligent, yes, and looking at his picture, seemed to be capable of poking someone’s ass, but the guy put no faith in the surreal, and seemed determined to analyze and break down life until it had no choice but be a total bummer. That is no way to live. We all need spaced-out imaginations, cockamamie ideas, weirdo vibes and misguided adventures into irrational stupidity to keep ourselves sane. “Happiness and the absurd are two sons of the same earth. They are inseparable.”

Keep your dreams, fuckers.

-MIKE EIDE


Comments
  1. homeless says:

    Wait, so now you’re telling us to be more like ICP?

    Wait, how do magnets work again? oh yeah, magic!

  2. Crisco Heights says:

    I saw this linked on MetaFilter a while back. It’s actually interesting and surprisingly coherent. The last chapter, “The Punchline” is worth reading at the very least. His recontextualization of the Norman conquest of England really informs the subsequent development events in European history.

  3. Touch the Hem says:

    20 people I have known, ranging from near-best friends to acquaintances, have killed themselves. In that final moment of despair, there’s no room for cosmic levities. only The Pain is salient. So yes, keeping a mental goof going is imperative–assuming you do care to stick around. Kids are an automatic life reason–but that’s just kicking the can down the road. Getting off the wheel of lifetimes by going through the pain in this one is the probable best way forward. Who rally knows? But the animal does need to laugh. Or at least snicker.

  4. Dr. Alban says:

    One less yuppie.

  5. DeadSerious says:

    One less republiCon.

  6. Erik says:

    How do you title a chapter, “Barack Obama: Supernigger,” and then proceed to bore the living fuck out of me? Did he actually pen that title sans even the mere hint of a smart-ass white guy smirk? This is why I don’t understand why people like Benjamin think that I’m a suicide waiting to happen. I’ve got the twinkle in MY eye.

  7. Mental Patent says:

    this wasn’t boring.

  8. Jessica ChinK says:

    A+

  9. Zippy says:

    “Be a man, kill yourself.”

    Johhny Rotten said it. I believe it. That settles it.

  10. heroin town says:

    more mike eide plz

  11. Taeil says:

    A guy like that killing himself is a lot better than another Ted Kaczynski.

  12. Taeil says:

    If you’re gonna make a 1000+ page manifesto for the world to read, make sure you don’t kill yourself in front of Harvard tourists so people don’t think you’re just a big pussy who couldn’t handle life.

    By the way, was this a hate crime?

  13. Mango badness says:

    He should have gone “fap fap fap” then he would have been golden

  14. Beautiful Mike, Glad to know ye.


Leave A Reply