Posted by
Donna Deliva
• 11.30.09 12:45 pm

Dude, I get it. You have drugs available. That’s why you’re in my phone as “Drug Dealer.” You don’t need to SPAM me every few fucking days.

Dude, I get it. You have drugs available. That’s why you’re in my phone as “Drug Dealer.” You don’t need to SPAM me every few fucking days to remind me. Besides, drugs are Appointment Television. You don’t sit there on a Tuesday afternoon and go, “You know what. I WILL get a bag. Why not. Thanks for reaching out.”

I’ve called you twice since the summer. Once was for my sister’s bachelorette when you were about two hours late and we had to sit in my mom’s mini van waiting for you. The other time was a week later when we were all going on a camping trip and you didn’t even call me back because it was too early.

Here’s a tip: Take it down a notch on the marketing and turn it way the fuck up in the service department. I don’t need your texts. I need your punctuality.


  1. imyar says:

    what a gay scalper

  2. BG says:

    Scalper? Don’t you get what “tickets” are?

  3. just a cunt hair away says:

    what a gay brooklyn.

  4. just a cunt hair away says:

    @BG- don’t you get what “jokes” are?

  5. Cadillac Hacksaw says:

    I would appreciate if you didn’t post my marketing strategies on the internet.

  6. Clayton. says:

    This rules.

  7. Super Broker says:

    How do you import a whole conversation from your iPhone like that?

  8. Ya Blew It! says:

    make a better article, unreliable drug dealers are standard fare, world wide.

  9. Cadillac Hacksaw says:

    ^^^It’s part of the whole low life drug seeking experience

  10. Maxwel says:

    thats unbelievable.

  11. lolatu says:

    I thought these messages were all from one night and I was thinking that would be kind of annoying…

  12. gay dude says:

    This is a prety good anti-drug PSA. Shit’s annoying. Way to go.

  13. bolo says:

    see, that’s the difference between a drug DEALER, and a drug PUSHER.

  14. Danny says:

    If I was the street pharmacist, I would disassociate from your dumb ass immediately. At least he maintains speaking in code, you have him in the phone book under drug dealer? Plus you put down an address where a transaction and probably others have taken or will take place? You are the worst kind of informant, you’re not even blowing up a spot to save yourself under questioning, or make the community a better place cause your kid can’t go outside, you’re just reckless, clueless and spoiled. He’s running a business based on sales, sometimes you have to pitch the product when the corner goes virtual to protect all parties involved. Just because you’re entitled dumb ass isn’t looking for someone holding right now does not mean you have to recklessly take down someone’s business.

  15. Brooklynchimp says:

    Danny = Puerto Rican drug dealer?

  16. streetbummers says:

    How does anyone in Brooklyn have any difficulty whatsoever in acquiring game tickets lickety-split? This guy plain doesn’t like you.

  17. blahblah says:

    my city guy does this too, i had him remove me from his phone book. and he’s way more obvious “i got those purple stars and fire”… like thanks dude. when i do call him (rarely) he answers with “who dis” i actually stopped using him because his grammar and texts annoyed me so much. ha.

  18. Faz says:

    He’s pushy and you’re a pus, get over it. And go find something more interesting to write about, I’m a Californian dimwit and I have more, and unfortunately, better stories about this crap than this POS.

  19. Eskaton says:

    This is ridiculous. What kind of dumbshit advertises like this?

  20. DEMOB happy says:

    you dickhead heatscore numpty poseurrr. you are such a shitty helmet. the drugs aren’t working

  21. Considerate says:

    must have some good shit if he takes forever and you call back

  22. Maxipad says:

    Wear those drugs, wear them you wrongen you! Slap your ass and rub substance all over it…..Yes Yes.

  23. Dill says:

    sucks you don’t have a real connect…

  24. duncan says:

    hey douche, all you have to do is view page source in your browser and it displays your dealer’s ip address in the xml code which was imbedded with the image. nice work, he’s probably in jail by now.

  25. the realist says:

    yeah you are fucking dumb for putting the name drug dealer in your phone. danny is 100% right.

  26. DamnDanMan says:

    Sweet the only day they were trying to score was my birthday

  27. fighting women is easy and fun says:

    oh, yeah – remember that huge case when the DEA busted everyone by grabbing a honkey’s phone and reading the words “drug dealer” in the contact list? then they busted a corner boy so broke he could hardly make his connects? there’s a girl in my cell with the name “FUCK PIG” hope she never sees me on the news!

    get some other numbers. from guys in the desperate sections of the burrough right next to you! You’ll know it’s right ‘cuz he rides in a touched up Jag, and lives in Marcy Projects. he’ll get there quicker if he does not need to hit the BQE to settle you up with half baby food/procain and just enough of the real thing for it to have been in a COLUMBIAN’S ASS for a day and a half, while he lived in a homemade submarine and knee walked in to Brooklyn to stay below radar.

    blahblah, if he really has Purple Stars and Fire, call back. He’s gonna worry about you. Plus you could be feeling a lot better that you do now. That fire’ll loosen the belt on those grumpy-pants you’re rocking.

  28. Coitus Swayze says:

    You should be so lucky.

  29. where's my phone? says:

    I love you.

  30. Ya Blew It! says:

    Co-sign Danny’s input. And also, hey Donna, drug dealers need to make money. Of course he’s going to be 2 fucking hours late when your clown ass calls him up for your monthly quarter ounce sack. I’m sure he’s in such a massive rush to make that ten dollars. Call him up for a pound and see if he’s late. God I’m glad I’m not your drug dealer, you’re the worst kind of customer.

  31. Joe says:

    Can you tell us his name and phone number and residential address?

    This is a safe place.

  32. Ed says:

    Giving times and dates of the phone calls he’s made down to the minute.

    Knowing it’s an iphone that only uses the At and T network.

    Why don’t you just turn your drug dealer in while you’re at it?

  33. resident weevil says:

    eye call bullshit on donna ever being good

  34. Ya Blew It! says:

    You should forward this to NYPD I bet they’d like to know the colour and make of a known drug vehicle. In fact forward a picture of your face so they know what a fuckin idiot looks like.

  35. Anonymous Too says:

    You guys are drastically overestimating the ambitions of law enforcement. They basically do just enough not to get fired. Scouring the Internet for potential leads is not really on their To Do list.

  36. Anonymous says:

    there is a hole in this story. he cannot be in your phone as “drug dealer” because it says “add to contacts” at the top of the screen. that means he’s not in your contacts. I’m the police.

  37. marshall says:

    illness, drugs, politics and last night’s dream(s): THE MOST BORING CONVERSATION TOPICS EVER!

  38. dipsosgirl says:

    then mr officer as an drug user myself, sometimes we dont put our dealers names in our phonebook, as i know and u know since u noticed the lack of name under contacts, if u get busted, cops like to look through your phonebook to get the number of your dealer if they have reason to think you are waiting on one, or just met one. we are not all stupid….In fact some of us are much better educated than u, (which I know how much you hate when that is pointed out) especially when we point out how your breaking the law and violating our rights with your illegal searches etc etc…..

  39. Anon says:

    God, that is annoying but I would do anything for my dealer to be that available…

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