Posted by
Gavin
• 07.25.12 11:24 am

Art Alexakis grew up in the projects and got raped by black kids. That sucks. Don’t get me wrong. However, being raped doesn’t give you the right to be the most irritating human being in all of California (the most annoying state in the union).

I watched that movie The Other F Word last night where old punks whine about their childhoods until you want to jump into the TV and take a shit in them. Hey Art, it’s not your dad’s fault you got raped, it’s the rapists’. Also, you knew who else grew up without a father? Oh, pretty much everyone. My dad was always there but when I scroll through my phone I count, one, two, three… seven of the guys in my “recents” grew up fatherless. The only time I’ve heard them mention it is to make jokes about what a loser the guy is.

 

Art on the other hand, feels so sorry for himself, he sings the tear-jerker above in its entirety and then stares straight at the camera like we’re all going to bawl our eyes out. My eyes were rolling too hard to cry. Later, when asked what he was like as a kid he goes, “All I remember is being this sweet little boy who just wanted to help people.” Who talks about themselves that way? Who the fuck refers to their younger self as a “sweet little boy”? Hi, I moved to Ontario from England when I was 5. I was super sweet. Then, at 18, I moved out of the house and went to Quebec where I became really, really kind. Ten years later, I came to New York wherein I became just absolutely wonderful. Did Alexakis go to the Rufus Wainwright School of Talking About Yourself?

In the film he talks about the way people look at him when he picks up his kid. He says they gawk at his tattoos and dyed blonde hair. In fucking California? Yeah right. “Then they see me pick up my baby and realize I’m a father” he says before adding, “But the kids know right away. They can tell I’m a father.” BLECH!

Art ends the film with the worst thing I’ve heard since, “Happy birthday Gavin, you’re 42.” He’s being his usual solipsistic self and says coyly, “The other day someone said to me, ‘I wish you were my father’ and I said, ‘me too. I wish I was my father.’”

I wish he’d be more like his father and leave.

-GAVIN McINNES


Comments
  1. Ben says:

    I saw that last night too. Remember when the guy from Rise Against says: I asked my dad what the difference between a republican and a democrat and he said “son we’re republicans.” Oh you poor thing. Your dad was like 70% of American dads.

  2. fachoto says:

    such a cunt…

  3. Kenya says:

    I’ve always hated this guy, but i never knew his name. i confused him with every bleached blonde douche of the early 2000’s.

  4. beef says:

    “THAT DUDE FROM EVERCLEAR IS THE WORST” pretty much makes every point in the article irrelevant.

  5. raymes says:

    For really real raped? I told Kyle about this stupid movie that you’d probably rip it to shreds.

  6. Schmozzy Schmozbourne says:

    Dads. We came from their balls.

  7. Portland says:

    Yeah, we hate him, too.

  8. Owen says:

    I resemble that remark…I think NY is MUCH more annoying than CA. then there’s VT, IA, MN, NM, AZ all more annoying than CA.

  9. somebody says:

    great job on redeye tonight, you killed it

  10. Collin Bullshit says:

    Ummm… nah. I know of a few quite a bit more annoying and self rightous. Like, for example, people who don’t know how to spell “righteous.” Illiterate people in general are annoying and should perhaps be euthanized. Also, people who say shit like “Ummm…nah.” Euthanize them first.

  11. MillsBills says:

    He was 35 when that song came out! I cannot imagine being years older than I am now and pop-punking about my daddy issues. The Worst.

  12. black kids says:

    if we knew what a douche he’d grow up into we totally wouldn’t have raped him.. dude is sew not hot

  13. Scott Masters! says:

    The real issue is black guys.

  14. Chapter After says:

    more fish in a barrel, but at least this post is impossible to argue with.

  15. Frenchy says:

    My friend met him when she was homeless like 12 years ago and he tried to have a heart-to-heart with her about how dangerous and stupid heroin is. Before he left he said he’d give her some money if she promised not to buy drugs. He gave her $50 and as soon as he left she bought some heroin with it.

  16. PISSEDPUNK says:

    All of you. ALL OF YOU. Are the worst people I have ever seen. You are ALL a bunch of privileged kids who have no idea what it’s like to be FUCKED over by some “parental” figure. And if you do, you are all living in denial about how bad it affects you. I actually envy you, because you’ll never know what it feels like to have this shit happen to you. Fucking cunts.

  17. Joey says:

    Specially the fuckin idiot who wrote this. Your a piece of shit that did not grow up fatherless, you have no idea what this person went through and what that does to you.. You can look through your phone and count the number of fatherless people, are you fuckin kidding me to use this as a comparison. You all are a bunch of spoiled weak bitches who have obviously never faced adversity.

  18. Courtney says:

    Not crazy about the guy, but the person who wrote the article seems to be the REAL PERSON WITH ISSUES…why are you so angry? You sound like the creepy class whiner who worries about everyone else’s faults, and can’t see your own shit. Grow up.


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