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• 10.11.17 01:22 pm

The days of Dustin Hoffman and Robert Redford in “All the Presidents Men” are long gone. Today’s journos are incurious bloggers with no skin in the game and no real interest in the truth. They write the story in their head first and then fill in the gaps backwards from there. They are also obsessed with Nazzis to the point of mental illness. They are…

1- AUNTIE-FAs: Radical feminists who are really into 1960s black power and communism. They use terms like “people of other” and “comrade.” They are in Antifa but also write for mainstream publications like Esquire and Huffpo because being radical is mainstream now.

2- SPINSTER POLICE: These are Auntie-Fas after their eggs dry up. They haven’t noticed that men use them for little more than sex because they’ve channeled all their frustration and loneliness into being Dog Moms. These busybodies are less aggressive than their predecessors but they’re just as annoying.

3- THE REVENGE NERDS: These millennial, ethnomasochist, beta-male wimps work for DNC campaigns and then assume they can slide into liberal media and still be perceived as unbiased. They start out as Judd Legum (Hillary research director) but grow up to be Brian Fallon (Hillary press secretary). These guys were bullied in high school and are determined to make us pay.

  1. proudest says:

    I like that we always tease the left for being beta, but then you read about people on the right, like Mike Enoch, who are beyond beta. Dude had crazy excema growing up, couldn’t finish college, then goes on some white power shit.

    Lots of right wing dudes literally have nothing going for them other than being white. I’d argue that beta males exist in excess across the political spectrum. Real dudes don’t care about identity politics because they’re too busy getting laid.

  2. The Disengaged Penis says:

    I blame this all on Geraldo Rivera. Imagine letting a Hispanic do American news broadcasts!

  3. Columbia Business School says:

    Apparently you let a barista get you all up in a huff. This writing is complete shit. “Pro Gay” is right, you little bitch.

  4. frank says:

    Why are you so obsessed with fertility? America is overpopulated. After we deport all the foreigners targeting a sub-replacement fertility rate is a good idea until we level out at under 200 million people.

    This idea that everyone has three kids and a picket fence is basically a 1950s historical aberration.
    It was pretty normal historically for up to a fifth of people not to have kids. Lots of women did things like become nuns and do interesting work and science.

  5. 2017 says:

    How about the three types of doctors that got americans hooked on opiates?

    cynical NY graduate who is fulfilling the conditions of his student loan on a Southern Exposure gig who hates the locals?

    recently arrived asian doctor who carries a culture of low ethical standards for prescriptions paired with ingrained disdain for white trash?

    a mixture of the first two?

  6. Columbia Business School says:

    Gavin- When are you going to realize that Trump in no way embodies your Don Rickles, Rat Pack, Have a Beer, Fuck the Marshmallows American Utopia? He doesn’t even drink. Everything he touches turns to shit. He is completely alienating and dividing the Right. Give it the fuck up, already. When you’re 65 you’re going to look back and wish you weren’t so stubborn about this.

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