Posted by
Nick Thorburn
• 06.05.09 12:00 pm


On a tour of Europe in February of this year, I received the most touchingly sincere, heart breakingly heartfelt fan letter ever written by anyone ever.


(An unrelated picture of Norway’s Mortiis and I)

On a tour of Europe in February of this year, I received the most touchingly sincere, heart breakingly heartfelt fan letter ever written by anyone ever. While reading it, with my hands trembling in gratitude and my lips gently quivering in appreciation, two big blue teardrops, the likes of which I’d never seen before, rolled tenderly down upon my flushed red face-cheeks in perfect symmetry, before falling perfectly onto the page of adoring words before me.

Just prior to entering Norway, our traveling party was detained for 7 hours at customs while they searched our van looking for some sort of memento by which to remember me by, but were disappointed when all that turned up was a couple of grams of marijuana, samples of Xanax and some pills of Adderall in a ziploc baggie. No 8×12 promotional photos to hang in their offices? Boy, did we get a lecture! Before letting us go, they tried (unsuccessfully) to prepare us for just how huge we were in Norway!

When we arrived at the venue, it was Beatlemania all over again. The promoter came right up to me and hand delivered a letter postmarked from a tiny town in the Norwegian countryside, by someone named Svein Arne Lie. I was touched that someone would go to the mind-meltingly difficult trouble to write me, (*ME*, you guys) little old me…a personalized fan letter. I opened it immediately and I was touched even harder.


(Click to enlarge then click back to get back because I don’t know how to make it open in a new window)

Now, I’d encountered this sort of unrelenting adoration before, most memorably in Rennes, France when a middle age couple who were clearly lifelong fans, had camped out at the venue hours before we’d arrived, and were carrying with them multiple photos of us and notepads that they emphatically demanded we fill up with our famousy john hancocks. That made me cry a little bit too, but this man in Norway- he went above and beyond. Not only did Svein bother to write his letter in English rather than in his mother tongue, but he went to the painstaking pain to make photocopy after photocopy after photocopy of the letter to ensure that it would make the long, personal voyage to Oslo, rainstorms be damned. And get this: he signed it THREE times! To top it off, the last two signatures were in pen and ink, to make sure beyond the shadow of a doubt, it was a personal letter! Wow.

For some reason, the letter was dated May 2008 (with an “8″ re-drawn [and then photocopied] over a “7″), even though he was sending it to me in February 2009. I suspect this was to make it clear he had been meaning to send this letter to me many times, but his nerves got the better of him each time, and he shoved it back in his drawer, shamefully. Included with the letter was a return-address envelope to send back as many autographs I could possibly stuff into it. Did I ever!


Comments
  1. Street Boning says:

    qua-leeh-tay!

    Where’s JANG?

  2. uhh... says:

    nice outfit

  3. Niggy Smallz says:

    The picture of Mortis was the best part.

    And why does a letter from Skwisgaar Skwigelf make me want to read something?

  4. HOMO the unofficial says:

    I’d file a restraining order, homey seems obsessed!

  5. soulsonic force says:

    i cant read that letter. the print is too small.

  6. eggrolls not ecstacy says:

    “Streetboning” is a faggot.

  7. Satan Davis Jr. says:

    I had a friend in high school whose younger brother made us all jealous by constantly being surrounded by bitches. Then we all found out he’s gay. Similarly, whatever reason you come up with for wearing that outfit, you are still a fag.

  8. Satan Davis Jr. says:

    Oh, and you listen to Mortiis.

  9. just a cunt hair away says:

    No Nick, seriously, I know what Gavin said, but we all want you to FUCK OFF. Please stop posting this shit.

  10. skull front says:

    hey neato. who gives a crap. why don’t you buy a t-shirt that says “i’m special because the baby jesus told me so”

  11. ew says:

    Fuck all you guys. Islands is my favorite band and should be yours, too.

  12. janie jones says:

    nick, sir.

    you are a gentleman and a scholar.

  13. jissom jigaboo says:

    quit bitching like babies with skinned knees you make us all look bad

  14. A plumpasaurus says:

    Nick – as a long time fan, I’m glad you were touched by this angel.

  15. Honest Abe says:

    What about asking him how much of a fan is he really?

    What would he do for an autograph?

  16. Ted Danson says:

    A lot of people here have really missed the fucking point, which makes me a little worried about humanity.

    Good job, though.

  17. uhhhhh says:

    wait a minute……That looks a like a scam letter!

  18. norwegian says:

    “What about asking him how much of a fan is he really?

    What would he do for an autograph?”

    well, he already photocopied a generic fan letter and signed it three times, that might be a signal of what length he is willing to go to obtain their autographs

  19. Oh Shit I'm Korean says:

    wow people here are really stupid


Leave A Reply