When my dad hears Annie Lennox doing Motown covers he says, “Why continue? Music has been perfected and this is it.” He’s obviously never seen The Newmore Switchblades. Comprised of bands from East New York and the slums of Baltimore
When my dad hears Annie Lennox doing Motown covers he says, “Why continue? Music has been perfected and this is it.” He’s obviously never seen The Newmore Switchblades. Comprised of bands from East New York and the slums of Baltimore (specifically: Ninjasonik, Cerebral Ballzy, Totally Micahel, The Death Set, and Team Robespiere) The Newmore Switchblades are living proof that life goes on and there will always be new shit better than the old shit you grew up sniffing.
They are black punks and dirtbags with black eyes and they play mostly 80s-ish hardcore and electropop rap. Every show they play turns into a fucking riot with half the audience on the stage and menstrual blood all over the walls. It’s an event. You don’t want to see the Sex Pistols when they play Jimmy Kimmel Live on their 4th reunion and you don’t want to see the Bad Brains at Irving Plaza when HR is so gone he can’t even remember the words. You want to see these bands in a basement, with the lights out, before anybody has ever heard of them. That’s what it’s like to see The Newmore Switchblades. It’s a Haley’s Comet moment that feels like you’re seeing something huge right before it explodes. Like a boner.
When Cerebral Ballzy showed up to our party at SXSW this year they were covered in bruises and barf. The bassist, a muscular little black dude named Mel Honore (?) had just spent the night in ER and had a huge gash of stitches across his forehead.
As an old person, I felt a surge of elation to see the torch passed on to such a worthy new generation of fuckups. There’s nothing worse than lying on your deathbed with a huge white beard and watching the torch fizzle out in the hands of some wimp who doesn’t even know how to
chock choke-fuck a bitch. These guys, on the other hand, are murderers. They come from fucking East New York. Do you know what that is? That’s where Giuliani put all the crime when he cleaned out Manhattan. It’s that Detroit-looking shithole you see when your cabbie takes a short cut to JFK. Now it’s home to the best punk band since the Bad Brains. Speaking of which, I was talking to one of the Ninjasonik dancers and couldn’t help but notice her iPod was all Bs. After one or two A bands (Agnostic Front, Angry Samoans), I scrolled past Bad Brains for so long I got a blister.
Ninjasonik are also a fucking trip live. With guitar samples and crazed niggas screaming “Nigger!” It makes the other hardcore bands sound like they’re holding back. Rap live is usually a bore but these guys have left the building and brought back tangents like covering Matt & Kim’s “Daylight.” Who does that? Nobody does that.
There’s three dates left on their tour. Please go see these shows so you can tell your grandchildren you were there the day hardcore got punked.
March 27 – Columbus, Ohio @ The Summit
March 28 – Cleveland, Ohio @ Grog Shop
March 29 – Philadelphia, Pa. @ Danger Danger House
(Most of The Newmore Switchblades)
Ninjasonik’s “Don’t Tell The World” with Vivian Girls
Cerebral Ballzy “Insufficient Fare”
Ninjasonik’s “Shoot the Lazer” with Snakes Say Hiss
Cerebral Ballzy “Anthem”
Ninjasonik “Art School Girls”
Cerebral Ballzy “Puke Song”
Cerebral Ballzy’s “Got 2 Bucks” remixed by Ninjasonik’s Teen Wolf