Turns out, friendzoning isn’t a real thing.
It’s actually a misogynistic construct of our rape-culture patriarchy. Which is just another in a long line of “Here is something that happens, that is actually something with underlying motivations of a most diabolical nature.” Like hating that Obamacare pajama boy motherfucker. If you hate his stupid, smug fucking face and want to smash him right through that fucking retarded onesie, it’s not because he just looks like an asshole. It’s because you’re anti-Semitic!
Can’t we just call a spade a spade and not have someone point out that at one time, “spade” was a racial epithet for black people in America? Why does everything have to have sinister undertones? Friendzoning is not “guys thinking they deserve sex for being nice.” Friendzoning is when a dude is being a complete pussy.
The “friendzone” is not somewhere guys are “put.” “Dude, I got put in the friendzone” is what some whiny bitch dude will say. The fault is entirely with him, though, for not making his intentions clear from the outset.
The typical self-described “nice guy” acts nice for the sake of being nice. He might be attracted to a woman sexually but is too much of a pussy—oops, I mean “too nice”—to make his intentions clear from the outset. He fools himself into believing that not acknowledging his attraction makes him seem nicer and therefore raises his sexual cachet with the woman to whom he is treating nicely.
“I will rub her feet and listen to her talk about her day, and I will tell her nice things,” is what Nice Guy thinks. And then he does all that shit for months and one day he says to his lady friend, “I like you as more than just a friend.” And that’s when the girl says, “What the fuck are talking about, you motherfucker?” That may not be a direct quote, but in a woman’s mind, finding out her trusted friend wants to sex her up is like finding out her brother wants to sex her up.
Since Nice Guy didn’t make his intentions clear from the outset, the woman now feels betrayed. She has approached their relationship as one built on friendship and trust, not the potential for sex. She liked to have a guy friend who, for once, didn’t want to just sleep with her. And she believed that’s who he was the whole time. And it’s all because the guy in the friendzone is a little bitch who didn’t make his move from the start.
Friendzoning isn’t a misogynistic notion of being owed sex. It’s a real product of little baby boys too afraid to ask a pretty girl on a date. Then they further dig themselves in by tricking themselves into thinking that misleading a woman is somehow showing her respect. “Guys are always being pricks to her, but I respect her. I tell her she’s pretty, not ‘I like your ass.'”
Yeah, that’s great and all, but when you treat someone as a friend and gain their trust as such, what the fuck do you expect? When you pull off the mask like the whole relationship has been an elaborate Scooby-Doo mystery, anyone—male or female—will feel betrayed.
Stop crying about being friendzoned. If you want to be in a relationship with a woman, ask her out for coffee or something early on. Don’t be a pussy. Even worse, don’t be a pussy and then act surprised when it doesn’t work out. It’s your own damn fault.