Posted by
Gavin
• 05.19.09 11:35 am


Oh cut the shit moms, you don’t watch the Superbowl to look at “guy’s buns.” You don’t watch the Superbowl at all. Some fucking bullshit Cougar told women

Oh cut the shit moms, you don’t watch the Superbowl to look at “guy’s buns.” You don’t watch the Superbowl at all. Some fucking bullshit Cougar told women it was empowering to care if a guy had a “cute butt” and next thing you know, 50% of the population is pretending they give a shit about the part of the body that gives shits.

Ladies, trust me. As Jack Nicholson would say, “You can’t handle the ass.” You know why we like it? Because we’re fucking disgusting. You know what we want to do with it? Squeeze it? Ha! We want to fucking eat it. The reason we like a woman’s ass is we like looking at it jiggle when we fuck her from behind. We also like digging our nose in the crack and smelling the strange odours it creates. We want to stick our tongue in your asshole you bitches. Can you handle that? Do you want to put your whole body in my ass? I didn’t think so.

Now, I can kind of believe you like a big cock at the peak of your horniness because a big cock can physically get to places a little dick can’t. Fine. That desire is plausible. But a woman craving a man’s ass has no basis in the reality of physical interaction and I hereby call complete bullshit on it.


Comments
  1. not a gay but just sayin says:

    I know why I like a mans ass.

  2. HOMO the unofficial says:

    chicks LOVE my ass because I can take hecka huge shits. bitches are all about shits.

  3. Mademoiselle Shank says:

    It’s where the power comes from. Thrustasaurus Rex.

  4. Dr. Ruth says:

    Yeah, I never saw the appeal… Guys arses are hairy, square and pimply… And womens have no biological reason to crave it like we crave their juicy smooth peaches. Not unless want to pretend it’s a girl’s ass…

  5. soulsonic force says:

    I like guys’ butts cuz 1) it’s something to grab and dig my nails into, 2) it’s subliminal; when i check out a guy’s ass I think of the power that the ass might have when pumping me, 3) I like to slap em. I also like getting a finger up there during a BJ cuz some think it’s wrong but never say no. It’s control, and it’s hot. so visually and otherwise, all good.

    But if the butt’s too muscular, or he’s a bodybuilder and he has a gorilla ass, it’s gross. Just saying.

  6. M. el says:

    I’ve only been on the site for about thirty minutes and 3 people have written the same phrase http://gawker.com/5259560/phrases-to-be-banned-just-sayin Was it on purpose?

  7. Spoken angrily by a Man with no ass. Flatt ass needs a belt.

  8. Street Boning M. el says:

    You’re on the wrong site. Just sayin.

  9. fizzlebottom says:

    I like a big ass on a girl ‘cuz duh, I like to imagine fucking it. It’s also great to grab a girl’s ass with both hands while you’re fucking her, heaven. Unless you girls are into some weird strap-on thing, quit pretending to like butts.

  10. ew says:

    i think man bun fever is kind of a thing of the past. the real hay-day of man butt frenzy was the eighties.I ‘ve also deduced that john carpenter is a raging ‘mo .

  11. numbers says:

    I fucking hate gawker and man ass.

  12. ew says:

    ^ gawker is the hairy,dingle-berried man ass of the world.

  13. Dork says:

    Peanut butts are great to hang onto. It is very sad when guy’s butts are big or he’s too hippy. I also like a good triangular shoulder to ass ratio.

  14. Dork says:

    And that crusty yellow shit in the crack is totally grossing me the fuck out.

  15. Glenn Manzig says:

    Jean Claude and Bill Paxton were the Huge man ass crusaders of the 90′s. Check it out

  16. Beefy McManstick says:

    Fingers in the ass are never wrong.

  17. Beefy McManstick says:

    My name is beefy and I like to suck cock.

  18. derek says:

    what is that weird papule in his crack?

  19. srsly says:

    i arranged for a cougar to come to my hotel , shortly after i had her pantie down i spread her ass cheeks, she had like a million and one warts in and around her asshol, it was fuckin gross but she managed my cock up in there like a trooper

  20. @M. El – LURK MOAR!!!1one
    we operate on /b/ rules

    Don’t bring ur gawker aids here.

  21. Deano Messy, scientist says:

    WHOA, someone’s not taking their Mannish Evening Primrose Oil. I agree that most women are too stupid and essentially frigid to care about man’s asses, but it stands to reason that they are into male ass for a different reason than I am into womale’s ass.. as you say I want to see it shake, fuck it, eat it, sniff it, and climb inside it, but cunts like guy’s asses cos it’s that ass that powers the hammering of dick into their NETHER REGIS. yeah hips play a part, but it’s the ass muscles that really hammer do hurt em

  22. I bob for beans says:

    Asses are like shoes. It’s a good thing if I don’t notice them.

    Love,

    A woman

  23. Richard E Stab-Bone says:

    Oh god that was the funniest thing ive read all week.
    Well done.

  24. Anonymous says:

    i like rimming, whipping the hell out of, and then fucking a nice ass. i’ve yet to find a guy that can rim as hot as i can. men are either too timid about it or too sloppy.

    that being said, i don’t want to watch a guy take a dump. i draw the line there.

  25. SHITCOCK says:

    This girl I know was in that “girls are just as horny/nasty as guys” denial so I told her I wanted to shove my tongue up her asshole.

    She not only has been stripped of that ridiculous false belief, but she also never talked to me the same way again.

  26. small dick little hands says:

    once again gavin has proved hes the only one who knows how to write. well except for that wasted push-ups guy, he was good.

  27. M. el says:

    Chris that’s a nice pic, you get a star and two smiley faces for your super-duper art. And YOUR DOING WRONG, please translate whatever geek code you were trying to communicate to me.

  28. ew says:

    gavin, quit replacing comments with self-compliments. how low is ur self esteem?

  29. sucka free says:

    homey tryin’ to tell you to shut the fuck up

  30. Janie says:

    “Unless you girls are into some weird strap-on thing, quit pretending to like butts.”
    ok, so i’m not pretneding to be all crazy and into man butts but i dont mind sticking things in there. For sure, I dont have the same butt excitement that men do about the ass fucking thing. Still its kind of fun to fuck an ass (as long as they aren’t too unsightly). I once answered a personal ad by a guy with an Australia shaped birthmark on his ass (according to him it was Australia, I honestly thought it wasnt really), who wanted an ass pounding (no other sexual interaction/acts necessary on my part) by, and i quote, “a woman, age and/or race unimportant”. He actually wasnt bad looking. But yeah, football ass isnt really my style.

  31. Frank DeFalco says:

    Please Hammer do hurt ‘em!!

    Good one!

  32. Lovehawk (Thee Oh Gee) says:

    The burn on your ass looks like the Hawaiian Islands.

    OH! The COOK Islands! Get it. Like, your ass got cooked, just sayin.

  33. hammer time says:

    boys that deny their butt holes some good ass play during a blow job are most likely just scared their homos. really guys it’s ok. it doesn’t make you gay, and it doesn’t mean us girls are nasty, we’re just a little more open minded and less frigid than your last girl so loosen up and let us make you cum your brains out. it’s all in good fun. personally i dont check guys butts out, it is pretty much bullshit. i prefer the scan of the front, and almost always check out a guys junk, just out of habit at this point really.

    just sayin

  34. i love asses says:

    my ex and i had great sex.. even though his ass wasnt big i loved it when he was on top pumping me i’d squeeze it till i came.. sometimes i’d just be massaging him and when i got to his ass i was mesmorized and i’d just grab and massage his ass till i got so horny i’d start eating his ass then i worked my way to a blow job in which the asshole was already lubed up (from all the time i spent licking it ) that i would stick my finger in their and have him come in my mouth when i would give him blowjobs when i was on my rag i would lean against a wall and have him fuck my mouth and i would grab his ass that would turn me on so much i’d end up masterbating after he came i’d make him suck my titties or let me grab his ass

  35. uhhh says:

    ^ okay…..
    this ain’t no body acceptance, sex positive blog so take that shit somewhere else.

  36. R says:

    I asked a woman about this once, and she explained.

    “a man with a robust ass means he’s really good at thrusting into you.”

    big ass muscles = hard sex

    conundrum solved?

  37. the FoOl says:

    @ i love asses

    Please contact me at your earliest convenience if you’re still single. Thanks.

  38. !!! says:

    “Asses are like shoes. It’s a good thing if I don’t notice them.”

    yes. the ass is yours to lose. i don’t know if that makes sense but you get the point.

  39. emily says:

    finger in the butt is calling going to gattitown. duh.

  40. beatrix says:

    word.
    i never was an ass person.

  41. glendon rusch says:

    Untrue. When a guy’s fucking you, and his little round ass is going up and down, and you grab it and shit. it’s hot. I’m not saying I check out guys asses while I’m walking down the street, but chicks are just as perverse as guys, and there’s nothing like grabbing a handful of ass meat while getting laid. Just saying.

  42. Sefton Clydesdale says:

    ‘i arranged for a cougar to come to my hotel , shortly after i had her pantie down i spread her ass cheeks, she had like a million and one warts in and around her asshol’

    Fuck, that is so gross

  43. Tressa says:

    Wrong. The ass is one of the things I check out in a guy and so do my girl friends. We don’t want some flat ass that can’t fill out the back pocket of his jeans; saggy back pockets are not hot. It may be do to my ethnicity–that’s what women of my ethnicity want and what we consider to be sexy in males. Not to mention the visual appeal, covered or uncovered.

  44. dicky greenleaf says:

    my ex would watch my butt muscles flexing in the mirror while i was fucking her which turned her on. so that is a good example of and reason for a girl to like a dude’s ass.

  45. Donnie the Lion says:

    My wife said she was running her finger up and down my crack while I was asleep this morning…I’m just sayin’.

  46. BossBitchInYourAss says:

    I don’t give a fuck what a man’s ass looks like in pants unless it’s a 10. What I do care about however, is stealing something from a little virgin ass orpheus while I’m sucking his cock. I make sure to get so much spit drizzling down his sak, that right when I deepthroat and he moans in xtc, that’s when I slip it in.

    Yeah, I love fucking man whores’ asses and calling them little slut bitches. Then sticking my shit covered fingers down their throats.

    No, I’m not gay. I’m a 10 hot bitch with a swollen clit, and I’m going to show you who’s boss.

  47. Anonymous says:

    You alls a buncha dum mofukas!

  48. Anon23 says:

    You’re in denial or have a flat butt.


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