Posted by
Street Carnage
• 05.31.12 09:00 am

These two New York painters use words to paint pictures that are about how words and pictures paint a picture that words can’t express.

They recently posted an ad on Craigslist seeking people who “like beautiful things” and are willing to learn “life lessons” under their guidance. For only $50 an hour, it sounds like a steal.

Street Carnage would like to facilitate you along your journey as it dovetails with their path. Sooner or later, you may all wind up naked, covered in paint.

he and she:
Both single, lonely, hardcore pop-surrealists/surrealists….

She’s self-taught and self-medicated while he went to many art schools-and is not drug free. They would like to teach you how to paint like they do—(good luck!). He wants to teach you surrealism. she wants to teach you how to paint as quickly as she learned! Most importantly, they need clones and individualists like you to propagate the genre. They demand $50 per hour for two-hour sessions in exchange of pure surrealist joy, painting instruction, and life lessons.

Beginner, intermediate advanced, or god-like. Beginners who know nothing at all about painting or drawing are welcome. You love surrealism and you get wet just thinking about it. You love painting and dream in color— if you dream in paint colors all the better. You stare too long at objects like trees and shadows of flowers that people think you are stoned; when you go to museums you bring an ugly folding chair to draw. You hear yourself utter colors out loud in your sleep and waking hours (ceramic blue! perylenne black! alizarine crimson!) You really enjoy the joy of painting. You are dying to learn how to paint–and its a good idea if you like medieval and renaissance art. You also like math. Above all, you must like beautiful things.

We’ll pose naked once in a blue moon. We’ll also invite some of our superstar art friends to hold sessions. Francis Pua will pose naked from time to time. Liaisons between student and instructors are encouraged in order to facilitate optimal efficiency. We want hard core surrealist nerds and geeks too–we’ll spar with three zeroes! Email us we’d love to see you!

(Hat tip to Jillian for this)

  1. j says:

    who cares

    but also 50/hr isnt really that expensive for art lessons

  2. raymes says:

    Didja find this in the Desperate Times listings?

  3. Campin with Goat Sampson says:

    They should instead pay $50 an hour to that gay porn dude who dismembered some bro on camera and sent his body parts to all of Ottawa. Now that’s “pop-surrealist.”

  4. jonford says:

    50 bucks an hour to bang that shorty is a STEAL

  5. George Elliot says:

    Not if while you’re banging her, he’s banging you.

  6. emo jody says:

    lots o’ pussy @ vassar

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