Posted by
Donald Crunk
• 07.30.10 10:00 am


The trailer for the new movie from the guy who directed 300 and Watchmen came out the other day, and if you’re into girls, guns, blades, dragons, fighting, strippers, and mental illness, then Sucker Punch will probably be the greatest movie you’ve ever seen in your entire life.

The trailer for the new movie from the guy who directed 300 and Watchmen came out the other day, and if you’re into girls, guns, blades, dragons, fighting, strippers, and mental illness, then Sucker Punch will probably be the greatest movie you’ve ever seen in your entire life. It doesn’t come out ’til next year, but the guy who sits next to me at work is into that kind of stuff and he won’t stop banging on about it. Fuck, what am I talking about? I’m into all that stuff too. C’mon 2011!

Since the release is a little while away, I wanted to find out what the movie’s core fan base (sci-fi geeks and nerds) thought of it. I approached one of those smug sales associates who works at Forbidden Planet and knows everything there is know about comics and sci-fi and masturbating. Unfortunately, he wouldn’t let me take his picture,because he’s “not very photogenic” and “could be fired” if his boss found out he did an interview in the store, so I’m going to use a picture of one of this year’s Big Brother UK contestants because that’s pretty much what he and every male Forbidden Planet employee looks like.

SBTVC: Hey, have you seen the Sucker Punch trailer yet?

FORBIDDEN PLANET EMPLOYEE, JASON: Yes, it looks amazing. Zack Snyder is a genius. It’s gonna be a corker.

Umm yeah, it looks pretty cool. Do you know what it’s about?

It’s all about a girl who gets put in a mental asylum. She then uses her dreams to battle her emotions, fight her fears, and eventually escape from the asylum.

That sounds awesome. Hold on, isn’t that a lot like Inception with all the dreams and stuff?

Oh, not at all. This is a completely different animal. It’s like comparing a cat to a dog. They both have four legs and fur, but there’s so much that sets them apart.

I see. The Sucker Punch girls look pretty hot don’t they? Who’s the hottest?

Without a doubt, Jamie Chung.

Who’s that?

[Jason pulls out his phone to reveal the image below as his screen saver]

Wow, she’s a hottie. What do you like about her?

She’s seems very strong minded, but also willing to compromise and most importantly: kick ass.

Have you seen the movie yet? How do you know all that stuff?

I’ve read about her on forums. I think she’ll definitely be one of the film’s strongest characters.

I like the lollipop. There’s a lot to be said about a grown woman who sucks on lollys. Are you into oriental girls?

Ummm, yeah. They’re OK, I guess.

-DONALD CRUNK
TheStyleSlut.com


Comments
  1. kure kure takora says:

    As said on another forum I’m on, this movie is an excellent social barometer of who I don’t want to hang out with.

    It’s like every single thing I hate about comic books/movies/video games wrapped up in a gigantic cliché for 27 year old virgins to beat off to.

  2. Baron Von Poo says:

    @Anonymous

    Yeah. Homeboys said that already. Can’t even make it to the 2nd paragraph? Damn. All them comics and videogames be shredding up your ability to concentrate and shit.

  3. You know, either way says:

    Ugh. You know what’s not a movie? An hour and a half long music video about the things that give you boners.

    I love comics and videogames, but this shit looks awful.

    Zack Snyder: I’ve got all these great ideas that other people came up with! They’re fucking bursting out of my skull! Better make a movie.

    No one: Oh, sweet. Will it have any interesting action? Violence with impact? Original sci-fi ideas? Tits?

    Zack: Not at all! Except for the tits!

    No one: For real? Tits? Come on, Zack…

    Zack: Ok, you’re right. The tits will be covered by tiny lil’ jackets and shit. But some of them will be Asian!

    No one: Boner!

  4. C and the MS-13s says:

    It isn’t Asian girls he digs, it’s any girl with a lazy eye.

  5. hong kong phooey says:

    bahahahahahahhahaa.

  6. sand witch says:

    lords of acid? what is this, 1995?

  7. Lana says:

    And it’s supposed to be in 3D.
    I feel nerdy.

  8. OK says:

    sadly this is the type of bro i fall in love with


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