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TV Carnage
• 11.16.09 11:00 am


A Miss G Train competition is the last thing you’d expect to emerge from NYC’s most notorious line.

A Miss G Train competition is the last thing you’d expect to emerge from NYC’s most notorious line. However I really like the fact that this grift is taking place. I assume the crown will be made from dead rats, discarded lottery tickets, and used condoms. Without doubt the G is the wildest route the MTA runs, stretching from crazies in Brooklyn to crazies in Queens with stops at massive housing projects, toxic canals, and harebrained pockets of gentrification, with nods to Dolby 5.1 stereotypes of Poles, Blacks, Hipsters, Italians, Yuppies, and Asians. Why they’re having a Miss G Train competition is secondary to the fact that they are having one. So why not nominate someone here on Street Carnage? Or better yet relate a horror you’ve experience traveling that train? Here’s one: I saw a very attractive lady barf a little in her mouth when a homeless chap delivered some freshly brewed diarrhea in her immediate area. And that guy was me … kidding! If only. But I did dry heave as well. There is nothing quite like seeing a train bursting at the door’s seams because a crowd is desperate to escape bum bowels.

-TV CARNAGE


Comments
  1. js says:

    Once on the G train a guy with a shopping cart filled with shit who i swear i thought was the guy from “The Cruise” sat down next to me, chatted it up, and asked me if I’d like to get together sometime. My life is like that.

  2. Canadave says:

    HAHAHAHA “Bum Bowels”. Good one.

  3. Charles says:

    Is the joke that she won’t show up to be crowned?

  4. Mister mister says:

    I hate the G-train. I’m so fucking happy I’m moving back to Manhattan!

  5. belial says:

    omg the g train is so crazy this is so cool!

  6. Sir Fagsalot says:

    in my city, the only “g train” i’m familiar w/ involves a poor decision by a drunken white girl

  7. Neck Pain says:

    G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train G Train I have now fully associated myself with the G Train.

  8. asdf says:

    “Is the joke that she won’t show up to be crowned?”

    nice

    that would make it all worth it as long as there was a guy with a drum set off stage to do a rimshot immediately followed by the curtain.

  9. The lady lover says:

    have any of you guys heard about the G train Lady?

    check it out!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQ3dMXMnwQE

    ps-this rooftop at 338 Berry doesn’t exist anymore (I mean the lake ,tress and all)

  10. Jb says:

    maybe the equivalent of the g-train in melbourne is the 86 or the 96 tram through collingwood….. i saw and asian family nearly honest to god throw up on themselves at the smell of a young (formerly pretty) junkie prostitute homeless girl walking up the tram, which i thought was incredibly rude and intolerant, untill she got closer to us….. and i cant even tell you about the smell… 5 years later i can taste it in my mouth and it still makes me nauseous. without exaggeration it was probably a 5 day old botched abortion, whatever it was there was pieces of human still inside there that she hadnt cleaned out why in the fuck am i writing this on the internet maybe sharing makes the pain go away
    i just ruined my breakfast

  11. Jb says:

    for a visual reference for the above vignetee, see the first photo on this page:
    http://streetbonersandtvcarnage.com/blog/12-pics-that-remind-me-of-pussy/#more-12083

  12. the nacho chip says:

    I love the G Train, I dare say it’s the best people watching in the city. I used to live Park Slope and the G was pretty much the only reasonable way to get to my girlfriend and friends in Greenpoint/Williamsburg. Friday night ritual: bumps at home then a forty for the hour long commute.

  13. Pink Kermit says:

    DOLBY 5.1 STEREOTYPES HAHAHAHAHAHALUV IT LOLLLLLOLOL 4 REAL THO


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