Posted by
SBTVC
• 09.22.10 09:09 pm


As you may have heard, Todd Barry was recently booed off the stage at a Tinkle reunion because David Cross and Jon Benjamin told the audience to do so.


Take it easy. It’s just the galleys.

As you may have heard, Todd Barry was recently booed off the stage at a Tinkle reunion because David Cross and Jon Benjamin told the audience to do so. They were fucking with Todd because he didn’t want to do the show and they figured he was also being a prima donna about the whole thing, so they sabotaged his surprise appearance. Todd (and a lot of other people judging by these comments) feels the joke went a little far and is not happy about it. This could end a friendship that goes back decades, so we’ve decided to let them hash it out here once and for all.

[Ed note: This conversation never happened. It’s what Gavin thinks they would say if they were to hash it out. The whole thing is made up in his gay head.]

DAVID CROSS: I can’t believe you put that comment on Brooklyn Vegan. Why did you have to take it there?

TODD BARRY: Why did I have to take it THERE? You’re the one who had garbage thrown at me.

Plastic cups? That’s garbage to you, fucking plastic cups? Where did you get the impression the venue handed out big piles of garbage to the fans? This isn’t Germany 400 years ago you know. There aren’t cabbages and rotten tomatoes ready to be flung at the performers.

And how exactly am I supposed to know that? I get on stage and everyone’s screaming BOO and I hear shit bouncing all over the place.

It was a joke.

All right, David, listen to me. Do you like being heckled?

No but this is hardly–

Hang on. You don’t like it, do you?

No I do not, Todd.

OK, well hatred for heckling is something that’s ingrained into our personalities as comics. To hear booing like that and –- all right -– plastic cups is like being heckled times a thousand. It’s very disturbing.

I cannot believe what a baby you are.

I can’t believe you can’t see why I would have a negative reaction to an attack like that.

IT WAS A FUCKING JOKE!!! You live in New York City and you can’t take a silly prank.

Oh, you must miss Old New York, huh Dave? Hanging at CBGBs with Richard Hell and buying junk off the Hell’s Angels.

Oh relax. I’m just saying your shitty attitude and fragile ego are not exactly the best ingredients for a good time in the big city. Like during the last blackout. Why did you have to make the whole thing so negative? Everyone I talk to said it was the best night of their lives. For you, it was just a huge inconvenience.

Why are you bringing that up? Are we in couples therapy now?

Why did you refuse to do the show? It was a reunion show and Eugene’s last night. You knew it was a big deal. And I get the Superchunk thing but you were right down the street.

Right down the street? I was seven miles away. That’s why I asked for a car. That’s why I asked the car to wait. I wasn’t being a prima donna. Maybe it’s because you don’t come to Brooklyn a lot but going from Music Hall of Williamsburg to the Bell House can be quite a trek. Half an hour if there’s traffic. Google it.

I can’t tell if you’re joking or not when you say things like “Google it.”

You know Eugene was pretty upset about it.

The only thing Eugene was upset about was the fact that you got all upset.

I didn’t bail on the Tinkle show.

I never said you bailed.

I just couldn’t do it. Superchunk was a paying gig and I’m not Mr. Squeekuel. I have bills to pay.

Yeah, yeah, I get that. I just think it would have been easier for you to just say yes and work it out. You didn’t get back to Jon and I for weeks and then you text Jennifer the night of? Why couldn’t you text me?

To be totally honest, I didn’t want to get into it with you and have to explain everything. Besides, I knew you guys would be fine without me.

That’s not the point. It’s not Tinkle without you. We called it Todd-less Tinkle for fuckssakes.

I know, I know. I appreciated that. I wish this whole thing didn’t blow up like that.

Well, it didn’t until you started commenting on the Internet.

Look, I regret that and I’m sorry, but I honestly think your prank went a little far. I’m not mad about it today but I’m allowed to be sketched out by a mob when my job is entertaining mobs, you know?

Yeah. I’m sorry too. I see what you’re saying.

No hard feelings?

None. You want to grab a beer?

I already have plans.

AA-A-A-A-A-ALVI-II-I-I-I-IN!

This piece of fan fiction was brought to you by…

-GAVIN McINNES

UPDATE: Dear Street Carnage,
I was reading your article on the Todd Barry/David Cross incident and saw that you are using my photograph that I shot at The Bell House and posted on Brooklyn Vegan.
While I appreciate the humor in the article I do not appreciate you using my photograph without my permission. If you’d like to use the image with your post, I’d be happy
to discuss a licensing fee. Otherwise, please remove the photograph from your website.
Thanks,
-David Andrako

Mr. Andrako,
Oh come on guy. Can’t we just link to your website?
-SBTVC

Dear Street Carnage,
No. I never gave you permission to use the image.
-David Andrako

Mr. Andrako,
Wow, you really know how to choose your battles.
-SBTVC


Comments
  1. Anonymous says:

    Make believe interview with Bush was waaaaaaay better. Gay.

  2. Joe Queer says:

    Superchunk show was so beast.

  3. Wild Turkey Jerky says:

    hoping this vegan beef is the bullshit that it smells like

  4. qq says:

    that was pretty cool. you should start an edgy magazine in canada that goes on to span the globe subsequently turning extremely questionable and then break up with your other co-founders and start your own website where you post funny stories and make shit up and thousands of people read it every day and enjoy it. that would be good.

  5. Taeil says:

    People find David Cross exceptionally funny, not because they have a sense of humor, but because they’re really self righteously liberal.

  6. qq says:

    “self righteously liberal” haha. i ilked him in arrested development, i didnt think mr show was very good. erm, i dont even know if i am a ‘liberal’
    what is that anyway?

  7. Pogi says:

    This is like when Gavin and Derrick had a fight only gayer

  8. Anonymous says:

    David Cross is an unfunny, ugly, half-fag. Bob Odenkirk carried Mr. Show. What a smug, self-righteous prick he is.

  9. Taeil says:

    Arrested Development was a great show and Mr. Show had some great sketches (contributed by various writers). Great stand up comedians don’t really translate to having great sitcoms (ex: Louis CK) and vice versa. And don’t get me wrong Cross made some great jokes, but when two thirds of your routine is basically talking about how Republicans and Bush suck, I start rolling my eyes.

    Also, when you show people who claim David Cross as their favorite comedian any material by Sam Kinison who had some very un-PC jokes (but nonetheless gut busthingly good), you see them become whiny bitch ass soccer moms before your eyes.

    These are the same people who thought Dennis Miller was really funny (he was NEVER that funny), and then they thought the guy lost “his edge” because he became a neo-con post 9/11. Fuck these shmucks.

  10. Loozer Boozer says:

    This whole thing is manufactured b/c David Cross hasn’t done anything outside of Brooklyn since Arrested Development went off the air except Bigger and Blackerer and his crummy book. Now he’s got two shows (Running Wilde and The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret) coming on, and he needs to remind people that he’s still here. This whole “beef” reeks of fakery and I’m not amused.

    It’s funny how people who live in Brooklyn think that anyone outside of Brooklyn care what the fuck goes on in Brooklyn. There IS life outside of your little rat-infested hell-hole, guys.

  11. Loozer Boozer says:

    With that said, “Mr. Squeekuel” is a pretty funny dis to drop on Cross. I’d like to call Zach Galifianakis “Dr. Tru”

  12. Red says:

    @Loozer Boozer
    All he’s done in the past few years is one NYT bestseller, a live comedy DVD / CD / double vinyl LP, another character on a new show, and another show that he writes, produces, and stars in. What an underachiever. It reminds me of that thing Gavin said in his turning 40 thing “The more you accomplish the less you trivialize other’s accomplishments” or more to the point, the Ian Mackaye quote, “What the fuck have you done?”

  13. DontYouGetIt? says:

    Good for the photographer. And weird that you guys have to give him shit.

  14. [yawn] says:

    @qq: “thousands of people” huh? i guess thats why there’s about 5-8 comments per post and no advertising to speak of (save for gavin’s tired pet “comedy” projects)

  15. Red says:

    @[yawn]
    Do you know how to use the Internet? My research says they get 10,000 uniques a day. And you don’t see the other ads?

  16. christi bradnox says:

    Guys! GUYS! Both of those comics are so boring, their comedy so remedial, that this is hardly good fodder for a post. Stop trying to make David Cross happen. And just stop Todd Barry period.

  17. luke says:

    @red Agreed. I like Cross a lot, but he may not be everyone’s cup of tea. Hardly means he hasn’t been working.

  18. Loozer Boozer says:

    Red = David Cross’ Publicist’s assistant. And dude, I said “Bigger and Blackerer, and his crummy book.” Then I pointed out his shows. Did I stutter? You can’t even pretend that Cross is as relevant NOW as he was between Mr. Show and Arrested Development. Bigger and Blackerer was on some obscure website instead of HBO, Showtime, Comedy Central, or even Hulu or Netflix. And being a “best seller” hardly precludes not being a good writer.

    For the record, I love Cross and Benjamin. They’re doing really innovative things with comedy. I was simply pointing out that this whole “beef” seems like the product of some kind of guerrilla marketing to create word of mouth to promote Cross, and therefore promote his new shows (one of which premiered two days ago, the other has a sneak preview on hulu and premieres oct 1…) Not to mention the fact that the only websites that are covering this “beef” are affiliated with Gavin, who’s affiliated with Cross… hmm, what a coincidence!

  19. green tshirt says:

    best part was that andranko idiot

  20. CUNT FUCKER says:

    what is the point of this

  21. the miracle says:

    please post a link to that queer’s site so we can troll it

  22. david cross says:

    i like to rub oil on my bald head
    as well as on my man boobs
    then i sit down on my couch
    and play with myself
    while looking in the mirror
    wishing that one day
    gavin will stick his fingers in my bumhole

  23. ??? says:

    Cross’s -waiting in line and being called a fag- routine was the first I heard of him… I guess about 10 years ago and I definitely call myself a fan, but I have to admit that I get confused about where ‘funny’ crosses (no pun intended) the line into ‘mean’. “it’s just a joke” can only go so far. I have no idea who the other guy in this drama is though… I don’t live in Brooklyn.

  24. Rob says:

    Taeil Says: [[People find David Cross exceptionally funny, not because they have a sense of humor, but because they’re really self righteously liberal.]]

    Or could it just be that they have a different sense of humor than you?

    Anonymous Says: [[ David Cross is an unfunny, ugly, half-fag.]]

    Oh “anonymous” … seeing your name I just know some homophobia is on the way … or “half-homophobia” at any rate.

    Taeil Says: [[ Also, when you show people who claim David Cross as their favorite comedian any material by Sam Kinison who had some very un-PC jokes (but nonetheless gut busthingly good), you see them become whiny bitch ass soccer moms before your eyes. ]]

    This never happened. Ever. And it never will happen. You never played Kinison for a Cross fan and even if you did they didn’t have any significant reaction. Why would discovering a new comedian who is good in any way negate the value of an existing comedian? Comedy isn’t mutually exclusive; you aren’t required to pick one guy and just like that one. You’d have a pretty fucking empty comedy club if the person selecting talent thought to himself “not as good as Woody Allen … rejected.” I realize you weren’t being literal but the very idea is so grounded in the absurd mentality of a 14 year old who likes to tell his friends who listen to modern music about how “real” Nirvana is and how fake everything from today is when really it’s all bullshit … but entertaining bullshit.

    However one time I did take a kid who liked Kanye West and I played him some N.W.A and I watched him turn into an open carrying, subtly racist member of the tea party.

    [[These are the same people who thought Dennis Miller was really funny (he was NEVER that funny), and then they thought the guy lost “his edge” because he became a neo-con post 9/11. Fuck these shmucks.]]

    He lost his edge in the sense that he doesn’t really do comedy that much any more. Al Franken isn’t as funny as he used to be — is that because we all hate Democrats? Or maybe it’s not because of any political allegiances it’s just that he took a different path with his career. You’re reading a lot more into all of this than most people.

    Loozer Boozer Says: [[ This whole thing is manufactured b/c David Cross hasn’t done anything outside of Brooklyn since Arrested Development went off the air except Bigger and Blackerer and his crummy book. ]]

    So he’s released a CD and a book. That’s not a bad output really. It’s about the length of time it would take to do those things. Oh he also did the Poor Decisions pilot (and then taped Wilde and Decisions seasons). Oh and the Chipmunk movie. Oh and Year One. And that poker movie. IMDB has a lot of stuff.

    [[ Now he’s got two shows (Running Wilde and The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret) coming on, and he needs to remind people that he’s still here. ]]

    Oh yeah this minor underground comedy world misunderstanding is going to blow the fucking roof off the Nielsons. I can’t get the Dancing with the Stars news I so desperately crave because all Access Hollywood and Entertainment Tonight are talking about is Cross v. Barry. The Nielson boxes won’t be able to compute the ratings for those shows after this viral blockbuster and people will have no choice but to shit in their Nielson diaries rather than write out how many times they watched those two shows because Cross got Barry booed for a few minutes.

    [[ This whole “beef” reeks of fakery and I’m not amused.]]

    You sound like a fun person.

    [[ It’s funny how people who live in Brooklyn think that anyone outside of Brooklyn care what the fuck goes on in Brooklyn. ]]

    I am outside of Brooklyn (I live in Canada … isn’t that crazy?) and I care about what goes on in Brooklyn in the sense that if something noteworthy happens there I will pay attention to it. I will do the same for any city anywhere in the world.

    If anyone involved in that show at any point thought to themselves “yeah this is going to put Brooklyn on the fucking map — we’re representing Brooklyn tonight — everyone will pay attention to Brooklyn because of this” then I will personally fly to whatever rat-infested hell hole you live in (you realize every city is infested with rats right) and suck the cock of a rat right in front of you (I feel like you would enjoy that for some reason).

    You’re all nuts.

  25. Actually no matter if someone doesn’t know afterward its up to other visitors that they will assist, so here it happens.


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