Posted by
D. Eric Beckles
• 07.29.11 11:15 am


The Internet is wonderful for many reasons, not just because we can find the most depraved sexual act imaginable in video form in under five seconds or because it can connect hate groups from ever corner of the world to form a violent paramilitary force — although those are fantastic examples of its potential.

The Internet is wonderful for many reasons, not just because we can find the most depraved sexual act imaginable in video form in under five seconds or because it can connect hate groups from ever corner of the world to form a violent paramilitary force — although those are fantastic examples of its potential.

Perhaps the most succulent aspect of the Internet is its comprehensive catalog of every embarrassing or incriminating moment in your life since SkyNet went live sometime in the ’90s. It’s your Jewish mother showing all your friends your high school yearbook photos, oboe recital videos and old notebooks filled with poetry about your girlfriend who later went on to fuck your best friend.

As a dedicated sifter of pure shit, there are some gems in here that make all the panning at the water’s edge worth it. For example, the now-defunct website CountdownTo18.com. Yes.

Aside from the super pervy nature of its raison d’etre, I love a couple things about this site. First, there’s probably no better way to let the authorities know you are a pedophile, short of knocking on their door and telling them. Attaching yourself to this site — by starting it, commenting on it, probably even viewing it — puts your photo on a corkboard in some precinct briefing room.

Not surprisingly, the site died about a year ago, a piece of information which leads me to draw only one conclusion: Some genius detective noticed this buzzing neon-sign, saw where this movie was headed, and then promptly organized a Chris Hansen-style sting.

And by that, I mean luring them in with delicious cookies.


-PINKY


Comments
  1. Shocktopus says:

    lol’d at this

  2. Salt in the Wound says:

    haha… “as a dedicated sifter of shit”

  3. JimmyFuckingCarter says:

    Perfect.

  4. Norm says:

    Damn I want some pedo cookies.

  5. raymeh says:

    the pedo project

  6. felicia says:

    ooof yeah. I am following.

  7. ALEX says:

    ha-ha-ha

  8. heroin town says:

    Chris Hansen is a monster! He just managed to ruin cookies and sex (two of life’s great joys) for all those poor pedos.

  9. heroin town says:

    Also who is the dude in the photo up top? Creeper supreme.

  10. The Voice says:

    Hey I mean I hate number 9′s so Im posting this comment here just to make it get number 10…And fuck you all S.C!

  11. god DAMN it. i would commit idolatrous acts for you, street boners and tv carnage.

    fuckin genuises

  12. am i the only person who isn’t in on shit here? fuuuuck

  13. let-down or let-up? says:

    I’m gonna ride this baby as far as humanly possible, and it will benefit everybody in due time. I swear on my boner. I’ve never had the occasion to read one of those ________ for Dummies books until today.


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