Posted by
Drew Grant
• 01.14.10 09:00 am


I know it’s not really a politically correct, but trannies in the ladies bathroom sort of freak me out. Not because I have any problem with transgendered people using whatever bathroom he or she or ze wishes, but OK, here’s the deal: I’m from Baltimore and the drag queens there … I mean, that’s where Divine made her name eating shit on camera.

I know it’s not really a politically correct, but trannies in the ladies bathroom sort of freak me out. Not because I have any problem with transgendered people using whatever bathroom he or she or ze wishes, but OK, here’s the deal: I’m from Baltimore and the drag queens there … I mean, that’s where Divine made her name eating shit on camera. This one time, during college break, I went to a gay bar in Baltimore where my friend Sean was bartending and there was a big drag show going on.

Turns out the one other bartender there was not only straight, but just out of the army as well. So duh, we start looking around for places to bone because what are the odds of getting laid in a gay bar? We end up in the VIP suite bathroom of some diva who eventually caught us in the act and started cussing us out the way only full-on, 6’3 drag queens from Baltimore can. Then she pulled out a fucking piece! Maybe it was real, maybe it was a prop, but what the fuuuuuck!? I don’t want to deal with that shit every time I use a public restroom for sex.

Actually on second thought, since it was technically that tranny’s bathroom, me and the army guy (who then turned out to be a friend’s boyfriend, so I was really in the shit) were in the wrong. I guess I should let them use the ladies room. But look guys, the ladies room is crowded as is — that’s why our line is 20 times longer than yours. Let’s say if men dressed as women can get access to our powder rooms, then, anytime I wear a t-shirt and jeans with my short hair, I can take a piss in one of your stalls, OK?

-DREW GRANT


Comments
  1. Zippy says:

    This is why I just wait and go in the parking lot or in an alley after I leave. Waaaay too many dynamics to the bathroom scene.

  2. fredMS says:

    “I went to a GAY BAR in Baltimore where my friend Sean was bartending, and there was a BIG DRAG SHOW” you should have seen it coming.

  3. stagemom says:

    this is stupid. trannies can use my bathroom. the one in my house. but you can’t drew grant (your name is a trannie).

  4. Gurl says:

    I always pee in the men’s bathroom in bars…I don’t have to wait and nobody seems to mind it…

  5. a dude says:

    Nobody cares where you pee. Distribute the pee equally across ass bathrooms.

  6. a dude says:

    *all

  7. Loozer Boozer says:

    Drew Grant is not funny, and can’t spell worth a shit. How did she get a column on this website?

  8. no.thanks. says:

    reads like, sounds like somebody talking after a few hits of crack

  9. Sewer Rats says:

    Gender mythologies, sexual mythologies, sex mythologies. Fun stuff, how we’re identified by a sign of a man or a woman on a wall. How taking a piss is really what determines ones gender. You sit or stand. Blah blah.

    – Roland Barthes.

    Who gives a fuck.

  10. Affirmative Maction says:

    I want to bone drew grant for days.

  11. Crusader says:

    I live in Baltimore and I can tell you, this does not surprise me at all. Drag queens will be drag queens. The rest of us ACTUAL transsexuals will just quietly take a piss and leave.

  12. Clayton. says:

    2nd on boning Drew. I tend to use the ladies room because they don’t have barf everywhere and less wet marker tags.

  13. JuCIFéUR says:

    Why would they even bother having a “ladies bathroom” in a gay bar?

  14. mark "k-punk" fisher says:

    “Let’s say if men dressed as women can get access to our powder rooms, then, anytime I wear a t-shirt and jeans with my short hair, I can take a piss in one of your stalls, OK?”

    women will use a men’s stall in the uk if the ladies is full anyway, it’s no big deal.

  15. Beef says:

    How about you can slit your wrists in the men’s bathroom, so we have another toilet, slunt.

  16. Anonymous says:

    Just launch a tamp at the trannies. Charm City has gone down several pegs and nobody will bat a fake eyelash anymore.


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