Posted by
John Pittsley
• 03.27.17 05:59 pm

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Is there any doubt that Trump is a pussy? The little turd is apparently afraid of stairs, is constantly whining on Twitter, and even caved to his daughter’s wishes and is giving her an office in the White House. But what about his unwillingness to make some serious changes to the presidential uniform?

Look back at all the previous presidents, each one had their own outfit near the beginning. Now it seems like the president’s attire hasn’t really changed since Herbert Hoover. I know Trump introduced that ridiculously shitty “Make America Great Again” hat and he should get all the credit in the world for it. The fact he stopped there shows what a little pussy he really is though. You can’t be screaming about making this country great again when you don’t even have the balls to spice up an outfit that is in some major need of change. Even if he did wear that stupid hat 24/7, it still wouldn’t be good enough. Look at Abraham Lincoln, that asshole wore a top hat and all he did was free the fuckin’ slaves. Trump is trying to make our entire country great again. The little wussy could at least throw the suit and tie in the garbage and dress like a rodeo clown or wear a Hawaiian shirt all the time.

I don’t know what the fucking baby is worried about. Tons of losers already think he’s a wacko to begin with. Dressing like a lunatic and inspiring future presidents to do the same won’t hurt his credibility one bit. If anything it would help him by taking all the attention off these stories, he apparently doesn’t like how the media is covering. Which is a bummer in itself. The mother fucker is the god damned president, he shouldn’t give a flying monkey turd what the press is saying about him; no matter if it’s fake news, libel, or what. All he should care about is keeping our precious little noggins safe and making America great again. Dressing like a fuckin’ loony toon would do nothing but help with that.

Maybe he’s worried about what foreign leaders would think and how it would affect our relationships with other countries. Foreign diplomacy is a huge part of being the president and there’s probably a lot of nuance to it, especially when you’re dealing with all those Middle Eastern countries. But then again, fuck those retards. Why should the American President have to dress like every other white male leader from the west? Isn’t that Western-phobic or some shit? Trump shouldn’t have to conform to a bunch of bigoted foreigners’ preconceived notions of what a white, male, foreign leader should be dressed like. If anything, he should be tearing that shit apart and showing the world how racist those fucking camel jockeys are. That’s the only way we’ll be able to improve global race relations, by showing them we can dress just as retarded as them. It can only help with our international defenses too.

You think any country really gives a crap if we’re capable of blowing the world up a million times over? Well, they don’t. If they did, they’d follow international treaties, listen to whatever the fuck we said, and not hold ridiculous celebrations whenever they built some type of weapon they know will piss us off. Foreign leaders couldn’t give two shits about our nuclear weapons capabilities, because they know we’re not going to use them. Trump could legitimately change all that though. All he has to do is put on clown makeup or shave that ugly head of his and start wearing a red dress all the time. That way foreign leaders won’t just think he’s crazy enough to nuke them off the face of the planet, they’ll be terrified of being the loser who got his dick crushed by a dude in a dress.

All these shit heads around the world, who keep pushing our buttons and begging to get invaded or bombed to kingdom come, are borderline suicidal. They know they would have zero chance of beating us in any type of war. All they’re ever trying to do is knock us down a few pegs. If they’re able to stay in power while doing it, great. If not, so be it. At least they were able to give the great ol’ U.S. of A. a nice sucker punch or get us tangled up in some shitty drawn out mess. No dictator wants to go down in the history books as the schmuck who lost to a cross-dressing maniac though. It doesn’t matter if they’re crazy enough to start a nuclear weapons program just for kicks or are willing to have their entire country carpet bombed because America sucks, losing to the lady-man is too embarrassing for most. All Trump has to do is start wearing women’s clothing and other countries would think twice before they acted like total dicks and put millions of lives at risk.

It may sound a bit crazy now but people thought the same thing about Trump being president not too long ago. As long as it helps our country and makes the world safer, I don’t see how you could be opposed to it.

-JOHN PITTSLEY


Comments
  1. Rapey Richard of Astro Glide says:

    Pussy?
    Besides grabbing starry-eyed celebrity worshipping pussy it’s his daughter’s pussy that is most troubling about Donald. Daddy’s little girl seems to have been on his mind a lot while she was growing up.
    http://www.patheos.com/blogs/dispatches/2016/02/05/trumps-creepy-obsession-with-his-daughter/

  2. Full Tilt Ooga Booga says:

    Personally, I like the Trump ball cap with the business suit look. It plays well in Nebraska, Wyoming , Kansas, anywhere they serve chicken fried steak for Sunday dinner and have a John Deere dealership, make it a national trend.

  3. Half Cocked Dead Aim OogaBooga says:

    If the Donald was gay, and had said they let him grab their cocks, would we have seen a march by screeching offended gays? Yes and no as they’d have marched, but would have instead been celebrating his little hands, and instead of pink pussy caps, they’d wear what they wear at all those gay pride parades, am I right?
    The gay friendly media would have explained away the Tmz video as “bathhouse locker room talk”, and prominent queers would come forward and say it’s always a freaking grab fest in those places, where boys will be boys, and it’s a form of greeting, and the guys unlike the heteros are not homophobic so are not afraid to display their affection for each other with the ole’ reach around. Even bathhouse Barry would come to Donny’s defense, and Michelle could add that “she” and Barry had grabbed each other’s cocks when they first met, and is pretty sure that’s what also happened when Don and Melanie first met, and she can “really” relate to the new first “Lady”.
    “Pussy my ASS” is how the Donald would then respond to this limp article.

  4. Manchurian Take Out says:

    Yes, Donald is a overcompensating pussy.
    Donald is a short fingered vulgarian whose little digits couldn’t reach a midgets g-spot.
    This thin gossamer skinned bully is obsessed with size as best illustrated by the 10 foot tall Trump letters on his 757 Boeing fuselage running from the wings all the way to the Cockpit.
    It was very revealing in the primaries to hear for the first time in our country’s dignified history of Presidential debates the issue of penis size being discussed as a measure of the fitness for the highest office of the land. Little Marco laid the bait, and the vainglorious peacock let the World know his undersized hands were no reflection of his YUGE EGOS self image. For the record his hand is 7.25″ compared to the average height 5′-10″ American males 7.44″ hand (Donald’s 6′-2″ tall). His hand length is more palm than fingers making him hamfisted.
    We elected this selfie of our national narcissism to the position of most powerful man of the most powerful hyper super power of all time.
    Welcome to the IDIOCRACY.
    I dictated this in shorthand to my secretary who typed it in trump font which is below average size for a font.

  5. Ground Control To My Big Dong says:

    I still don’t like it when the President responds to the Hollywoodonians who take shots at him. Ignore them. The worst thing you can do to a celebrity is to ignore them. They’ve dedicated their whole existence to seeking out attention and validation of any kind. Don’t give it to them. Fuck ’em!

  6. Personally, I like the Trump ball cap with the business suit look. It plays well in Nebraska, Wyoming , Kansas, anywhere they serve chicken fried steak for Sunday dinner and have a John Deere dealership, make it a national trend.

  7. Full Tilt OogaBooga says:

    ^mandalin stunt cars 2
    Hey thief. Use your own material. There’s only one of ME ME you hear! Only my cock muppets, including this one, have rights to my MY! material.
    The one and only OogaBooga’s.

  8. Humpty Dumpty Trump says:

    Humpty Dumpty Trump tried to build a Wall.
    Humpty Dumpty Trump couldn’t fund his Wall.
    All the President’s men and all the President’s enemies told him “sorry you’re a loser again.
    #MakeAztlanGreatAgain

  9. Pink Pussy Cap says:

    Here Donny Donny.


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