Posted by
HJ Fountain
• 07.23.15 12:00 pm

plannedparenthood

I don’t know about you, but, like my fish sticks, I prefer my aborted fetuses “crunchy” on the end. It’s not really a big deal. Instead of just flipping on a super Hoover and vacuuming this clump of nothing (with eyes, nails, internal organs) out, you just manipulate the pregnant woman’s uterus to make for the cleanest, easiest way to harvest the little bastard’s organs. If that means using graspers to crush his head, or break apart his lower extremities—so what—this is for science! Maybe.

Why are all these Pro-Life extremists mad? So a Planned Parenthood doctor got caught on film, eating Caesar salad, and discussing the most profitable way to kill a seventeen-weeker in between sips of fine red wine. These whiny Lifer pussies need a double-roll of Brawny on their periods.

O.K., maybe the tone of these videos are a little off-putting. Cecile Richards, president of the Planned Parenthood Federation of America admitted as much, but she was one of TIME’s Most Influential Persons in 2012. Encouraging young women to kill their kids a few months before the little rascals start learning their ABC’s does indeed sound noble. She shares the basic philosophy with Caroline Kennedy.

They are both heroes!

There are other Heroes, as well:

Take, Dr. Kermit Gosnell: All he did was birth live babies, hold them upside-down in his hand and use scissors to cut their spinal cords. Those weren’t “real” babies; they didn’t even get to wear swaddling clothes.

Why are we hung up on babies? They can’t even read!

I see no wrong-doing in my investigation. If you can explain to me the difference between a Late-Term abortion vs. a crazy chick with a ball-peen hammer, smashing a newborn’s skull as he slides out of your womb—I’ll give you a cookie. If not? Case closed. Otherwise, you’re just waging a #WarOnWomen….

-H.J. FOUNTAIN


Comments
  1. OogaBooga says:

    Kermit was truly insane, man. Killing babies without a LICENSE?!!! Dat shits nutz.

  2. Alec Leamas says:

    Kermit was truly insane, man. Killing babies without a LICENSE?!!! Dat shits nutz.
    _____________________________________

    He had a license, he was just lazy and performed the procedures backwards, delivering live babies and then killing them instead of the other way round.

    Locally speaking I’ve been told that the DA raided Gosnell’s Jersey shore house because they had reason to believe he was freezing baby remains and using them to bait crab traps.

  3. John Thomas says:

    @Alec Leamas: I have to know. Is that a joke, or are you serious about the crab traps?

  4. Real McRealnameson says:

    this place looks more and more like the conservative version of jezebel each day. when your all done getting your panties in a bunch and clutching your pearls read below:
    http://www.factcheck.org/2015/07/unspinning-the-planned-parenthood-video/

  5. John Thomas says:

    @Real McRealnameson: Yet you can’t stay away.

  6. Alec Leamas says:

    @Alec Leamas: I have to know. Is that a joke, or are you serious about the crab traps?
    ______________________________________________

    The Philadelphia Police Crime Scene Unit traveled down the Atlantic City Expressway to search for the remains of unaccounted fetuses.

    “We went down there because we thought maybe some of the babies were thrown into the bay,” he said. “There’s a lot of babies that are still unaccounted for that we don’t know where they’re at.”

    The team ventured into the bay and pulled up several crab traps owned by Gosnell to see if there were remains inside. However, nothing was found. New Jersey authorities also sent a dive team into the bay before Taggart’s search and were unable to locate any remains.

    “I believe they are either buried out there or I don’t know where they are. We’ve looked, we’ve looked for three years,” he said.

    http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/news/local/Babies-in-Fridge-Feet-in-Cabinets-Found-in-House-of-Horrors-207636681.html

  7. […] nights, I’ve watched Sean Hannity go off on some weird tangent where he tries to tie the cases of Planned Parenthood sickos  and the murder of Kate Steinle to Cecil the lion—his point is that of media coverage and […]


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