Posted by
• 11.01.11 10:00 am

Since birth I’ve heard the dogma, “If you swim in the Mississippi, you will drown.”

Growing up in New Orleans, since birth I’ve heard the dogma, “If you swim in the Mississippi, you will drown.” My grandfather swam in it as a kid. My bud, Tommy, swam across it, but was too tired to swim back (he took a cab). Every year, people drown in the river, but it has less to do with the deadliness of the river and more to do with the fact that poor kids don’t know how to swim.

Besides the obvious misconception of the river not being swimmable, the real tragedy is that nobody knows about the beautiful reefs and marine life that awaits them just below the surface. Trying to educate the public on this issue has become my passion.


  1. Creepy McCreeperson says:

    holy shit for real people swim in rivers near cities!?!? never heard of that before…

  2. Brock Samson says:

    That guys is going to get a skin infection swimming in that water with a shaved/waxed chest.

  3. Drippy Dog Dix and Cum Bubbles or Something says:

    Sir Shaves-A-Lot should change his name to Stretch Armstrong and His One Trick Pony.

  4. PopFop says:

    I love exploring the woods near my house. Even though I live in a small city about 20 miles north of Boston, there are miles of hiking trails nearby. The biggest problem I’ve come across with suburban exploration is that people aren’t allowed to swim in certain ponds without a lifeguard on duty due to how litigious our culture is.

  5. mr.meat says:

    ah, the muddy missississloppy.

    this was cute.
    i lived in N.O. when the brother and sister from out of town took a boring riverboat ride and the brother jumped off for fun but the undertoe got him and he wasn’t found for days. that was sad, very sad.
    but this was cute.

  6. shaggy says:

    If only we came equipped with snorkels, man.
    Ah well, enough dreaming, more bong rips

  7. (not published or required) says:

    i’ve really gotta do some fucking work

  8. Uncle Wah Wah says:

    Big deal, kids on my street play in filth like this all the time. No real news here, Zissou Jr.

  9. steve perry says:

    popfop: nobody gives a shit.

  10. FuckSalt says:

    More stuff from this guy. Keep em coming.

  11. on my blackberry says:

    this is fucking lame… seriously.

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