Posted by
• 11.28.08 11:11 am

Ate brunch and then went for a jog before doing pushups this week. To prepare a quick and delicious bowl of cereal with bananas on top, peel down one side of the banana peel and then use your cereal spoon to dice up the banana directly onto the cereal. Then, add some milk.

Ate brunch and then went for a jog before doing pushups this week. To prepare a quick and delicious bowl of cereal with bananas on top, peel down one side of the banana peel and then use your cereal spoon to dice up the banana directly onto the cereal. Then, add some milk. It’s so tasty that it’s nearly impossible to eat only one bowl. Watch: you’ll be pouring another round as soon as you lap up the last of the cereal-milk. Anyway. I jogged for twenty minutes on a treadmill. It was set to “7.3” Then I did 18 pushups.

  1. Jamie says:

    Hahahaha. That was good.

  2. Josh says:

    Oh my God! I can’t stand the suspence! Did he eat the Bagel?

  3. Darling says:

    Oh pickle, look at you responding to negative criticism and using your spot to promote healthy eating. It kind of makes me want to bone you even more.

  4. bb gunn says:

    i call on smack

  5. french guy says:

    interesting : looks like the bananas made you mind that door, while you absolutely did not seem to care when you were doing crazy ass drugs. or is it soya milk now?
    anyway, heroine worked just fine too. both are funny actually.

  6. Armen says:

    where is your fetish shirt?? fuck no!! nooo!

  7. Armen says:


  8. elias says:

    this is getting extremely boring…

  9. sf says:


  10. steamer says:


  11. steamer says:

    How about next week you do wasted pushups on bullets?

  12. yeah says:

    ha ha I’m on steamer’s team. I wanna see you do pushups on bullets. then you’d be truly wasted.

  13. kat says:

    he seems as coherent here as he is when he’s blazed out of his mind.. yikes

  14. SEPT POL says:


  15. Ugly says:

    Next should be after an entire bucket of KFC with mashed potatoes and gravey, five biscuits and mac & cheese.

  16. srsly says:

    I see where paul palmateer is going with this- he’s steadily building up and gathering strength to do a whole lot of disgusting yogic practices for us, like colon cleansing and then, immediately afterwards– his fifty million fucking push-ups!

    interesting concept, paul- I hope you’re able to regenerate, re-grow, that fucking used-up liver of yours, as a result!

  17. "Xavier Kincaid" says:

    Next Wasted Push-ups: Endless Summer

  18. Deadbeatmanchief says:

    BRAVISIMO! ENCORE! Funny! You’re promoting healthy living! Seriously though, loved it.

  19. Spanky McTony says:

    tacos and pushus? That’s taking it too far man

  20. […] reminds me, the Wasted Pushups kid didn’t die last week. In fact, he’s eating bananas and cereal and soy milk and going for a jog. Aw! His eyes still freak me the fuck […]

  21. bill says:

    an improvement from shooting heroin you fucking dumb ass.

  22. Shira says:

    The soymilk is confirmation that you are a total bitch. I can do like about oh fifty pushups straight no matter what.

    witness the fitness

  23. meh says:

    much better. lose the mustache, though.

  24. weaksauce says:

    dont listen to anyone named dead beat man chief
    jessi says ur doing too many pushups and your starting to look like Russell Crow

  25. srsly says:

    That was the best one yet.

  26. street boners and tv carnage says:

    I read that soy increases estrogen in your body, which is why i never do it…. THIS SHIT WAS EXTREME.

  27. miss appalachian says:

    a treadmill. fun!

  28. Uselysses says:

    This isn’t even funny anymore. I’m starting to get concerned for you, is it really worth it to kill yourself for a website? Sure it seems like about a million laughs to get a daily dose of potassium and fibers, but please, please, stop now. You seem like a nice kid.

    i knew five dudes what O.D.ED on delicious between-meals meals

  29. Teddy Ruxpin says:

    You didn’t hydrate with water after jogging? What if you fainted? YOU DIDN”T EVEN STRETCH, Don’t die on us Sam. You need to stop doing these.

    Your gonna kill you’reself you fucking idiot.

  30. Vagine Thoughtfully says:

    at first I felt more gypped than a gypsy in a caravan straight out of the woppiest part of eastern europe ripping me off while I frenched one of those really colourful skirts made out of rags but then I remembered that being wasted doesn’t necessarily have to involve drugs or booze. the most wasted I’ve been recently was after the all you can eat meat gorge at this brazillian bbq place on my b’nai brithday.. after the last piece of pork loin I could fit past my neck I was literally moving in slow motion. it was a magic meat trance that would have resulted in 1/2 pushup. anyway this anorexic sarnia kid is alright.. he’s like a willing hustler version of the jon voight character from midnight cowboy mixed with ratso rizzo

  31. Mayim Bialik says:

    next, how many pushups can you do after having your dumpster dived into by derrick “uncut chorizo behind the deli counter” beckles

  32. Mayim Bialik says:

    ah shit that gives me a legit idea – spanish fly. do it we got a heart attack pool goin and I bet soon

  33. Todd says:

    i am not going to post as todd.

  34. Todd says:

    you here me gavin!

  35. Todd says:


  36. jon voight says:

    you do look like a young me!

  37. Rad racer says:

    awful. Went right to “concept hell” like the movie “Twins”
    Oh well, what can I say: you suck cocks. Become an hero.

  38. Chachi and the MS-13s says:

    The writers of Touched By An Angel had something to do with this I’m sure.

  39. Arv says:

    Ha. That was pretty good, but I think it would’ve been funnier if you got back from the jog completely trashed.

  40. Beef says:

    Bodily harm push ups would be better. Get roughed up by a Dominican for fingering his girl, then do some push ups.

  41. Tuff says:


    I say that because you didn’t do any drugs this time, but also because 18 pushups is awfully low for a thin young man.

  42. Trdas says:

    Christ almighty, You really are the biggest moron in the world. Shave off your disgusting little poo mustache you baby and go and do something fucking useful like getting a job. Are your parents really proud of you? Cretin.

  43. Emily H. says:

    If you are going to jog regularly, you should probably get some real running shoes. You appeared to come back from the run wearing Converse (?), & while I can understand the appeal of wearing them to exercise (they’re sneakers after all, plus “real” runner shoes look gay), but they’re not made for it. You’ll be able to run longer if you have some cushioning/arch support.

  44. toon critic says:

    this guy telling me how to chop a banane into my cereal reminds of me of when Pee Wee made Parfaits


  45. imbored says:

    lol@Teddy Ruxpin’s comment

  46. myself says:

    you could try doing push-ups with different things like: having fleas, being underwater, on a bus, actually being two people, on fire, with a boner, and other things.

  47. anonymous says:

    you should eat vaj-juj then do push ups

  48. Tom Bugglins says:

    this sucks, but on a friendlier note, it’s nice to see that people who clearly have never exercised embracing the two best forms of gettin’ the bod right (running and pushups!).

    PS, 18? c’mon i’m a fat piece of shit now and i would not settle for less than two sets of 25.

    i hate myself.

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