Posted by
Gavin
• 12.30.12 02:56 pm

The Times had to write about Adam Yauch this week so they plugged their noses through his early twenties and focused on Tibet. 

Never mind that the whole Free Tibet movement has the same thought behind it that the Minutemen guarding the border in California has. The Tibetans don’t want their nation to become Chinese and the Californians don’t want their state becoming Mexican. Tibet is anti-immigration.

I don’t expect a wiener like Alex Pappademas to grasp a concept that sophisticated especially when he’s writing for the New York Times but pretending The Beastie Boys were always do-gooders is downright unethical.

In the obit he penned for Adam Yauch, we’re told Licensed to Ill was a parody. The same way Norman Lear felt he created a monster when everyone fell in love with Archie Bunker, the Beastie Boys apparently hated seeing people fight for their right to party. Alex says the next album Paul’s Boutique was made to “bewilder their meathead fan base that took their debut’s ironic misogyny and violence at face value.” Come the fuck on. Do you honestly expect us to believe that Licensed to Ill was an art project? Yauch was 22 when that album came out. It was more like a fart project.

This is the band that four years previous created the hardcore anthem “Egg Raid on Mojo” about the time they attacked legendary New York bouncer Mojo with eggs. They weren’t playing a role. They were playing. Isn’t that what kids are supposed to do?

To call all this bullshit is total bullshit and it’s very offensive to those of us in the meathead community. We liked that album. We think an inflatable penis is funny and spraying beer on people is fun. I’ve heard the Beastie Boys pooh pooh this shit before and the only time it doesn’t sound like a lie is when they admit they were really like that but now regret it. Even Alex falters when rewriting history and says, “The fact that they’d been unrepentant knuckleheads made their transformation into repentant knuckleheads seem heroic.” I thought you said they were only pretending.

The obit goes on to blether endlessly about Yauch’s feminism and all the great stuff the band did for women without mentioning the part where the second the record execs said, “Lose the chick,” Kate Schellenbach was under the bus. She didn’t even know she was fired until she ran into them on the street wearing the three matching track suits Rick Rubin bought them. Was all this also and act of ironic misogyny?

Anyway, I’m not here to shit on the guy after he died. He accomplished a lot and made some great music. I just don’t like to see wimpy liberals whitewashing what many of us see as the best part of the Beastie Boys: When they were assholes.

-GAVIN McINNES

Shooting Madonna’s tits with a water pistol was a parody of the wet t-shirt contests that were being used to stone women to death in Saudi Arabia at the time.

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Fucking that chick from The Bangles was a comment on the shackles of slavery all women are forced to wear from birth because, as Lennon himself put it, “women are the niggers of the world.”

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The cage she is dancing in symbolizes the prison of sexuality we lock women into. The gigantic beer and dick show how interchangeable the two are because, uh, they’re both penis-shaped or something.


Comments
  1. Chris Duncan says:

    Best thing I’ve read all day.

  2. RED says:

    If you’re not a misogynist asshole when you’re young, you have no heart. If you’re a bleeding heart liberal when you’re old, you have no brain.

  3. cook says:

    Comparing Tibet to California is completely idiotic. The Chinese government has implemented a policy of turning the population of Tibet into majority Han Chinese while brutally suppressing Tibetan culture with incredible amounts of savage bloodshed. The death toll of self immolation protests by Tibetans for 2012 is over 80. Do they do that for fun? If you hold the opinion that Tibet was a backwards feudal society, I still cannot imagine you would support the outright genocide that took place during the cultural revolution. Don’t you, as a conservative, hold even more hatred for Mao than you do for liberal Americans?

    Has the US Federal government forcibly turned California into a majority Latino state? No, but if this idea had any truth to it would the analogy even hold? No- for your logic to work The US federal government would have to be forcing the population of California to become majority WASP.

    I thought the feminist line in that article was silly but your opening point made no sense.

    I don’t know if it’s true or not but I heard that the Beastie Boys didn’t play Fight for your right to party live after that big tour because they got sick of it. I could care less either way but it did seem like they were tired of it.

  4. RED says:

    How many people do you think MS-13 has killed in California since the government opened the doors to illegal immigrants? Black kids don’t go to school in LA during Cinco de Mayo because they know they will get their asses kicked (they retaliate on the Mexicans come MLK day).
    George W Bush made California a majority Latino state and that’s pretty similar to China. The motives are different but the end result is the same. Tibet is losing Tibetan culture to the far more numerous Chinese. California is losing their culture to the far more numerous Mexicans. You can’t be for preserving one culture and not another. You’re either for closed borders or against it.

  5. Your Momma says:

    “How many people do you think MS-13 has killed in California since the government opened the doors to illegal immigrants?
    Black kids don’t go to school in LA during Cinco de Mayo because they know they will get their asses kicked (they retaliate on the Mexicans come MLK day).
    George W Bush made California a majority Latino state and that’s pretty similar to China. The motives are different but the end result is the same. Tibet is losing Tibetan culture to the far more numerous Chinese. California is losing their culture to the far more numerous Mexicans. You can’t be for preserving one culture and not another. You’re either for closed borders or against it.”

    What the fuck are you talking about. You fucking racist pussy. Since when did the government let illegal immigrants in. How many people has MS13 killed? Do you know. I don’t. I don’t think it’s that much,especially not anybody you or I know, that is just media hype. Plus this was Mexico before the whiteys were here. What the fuck do you know about the LA school system. Your fucking retarded. If you don’t get to class on time there is not enough seats and you have to stand for the rest of the class. All the while 5 miles down basketball players are getting millions and the fucking city can’t provide enough seats. It’s fucked. I would be pissed too. The borders are closed idiot. I don’t even know what the article is about, I just skimmed to your retarded comment. Lates Bitch.

  6. cook says:

    @Red- the Chinese Communist Party which controls China is mostly exclusively Han Chinese, and has long worked to strip ethnic minorities of their power in China. Perhaps you have a strange conception of China and Tibet, but Tibet is an extremely difficult country to enter for the incredibly obvious reason that it is north of the Himalayan mountains and is the *highest region on earth*. The Chinese government has invested billions of dollars (or equivalent in yuan) to supplant the indigenous population with Han Chinese. The sinicization of Tibet is completely unlike latino immigration into California. The analogy is completely flawed and should be obvious to anyone with a cursory knowledge of world politics. Again, the correct analogy would be if Washington actively made WASPs immigrate from the Northeast to California. A more suitable analogy would the genocide of Native Americans during the American expansion into Indian territory.

  7. mr.cordero says:

    @cook Shut up! TLDR

  8. chris says:

    License to Ill is a great album and I’m not ashamed to like it.

  9. Zlur says:

    Cook, Jesus…

  10. cp says:

    back in form Gav. heres to a good 2013 for SC

    where is Val?

  11. Chapter After says:

    This must be the first time America has ever white-washed one of its heros.

  12. brideshead says:

    It’s not misogyny to fire the drummer, Jesus.

  13. pantagruel says:

    @your momma: nobody goes to school on mlk day period

  14. RED says:

    @brideshead
    She wasn’t fired because she couldn’t drum. She was fired because Rubin wanted to make a bro-band and she didn’t fit the mold. If they were true bro’s, they would have A- told her what’s up like men and / or B- found something for her to do. They had plenty of extra members especially after “Licensed to Ill.” Why not make her one of those? Though I guess it was cool to sign Luscious Jackson.

  15. palouta says:

    He who fucks nuns will later join the church, death or glory


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