The Times had to write about Adam Yauch this week so they plugged their noses through his early twenties and focused on Tibet.
Never mind that the whole Free Tibet movement has the same thought behind it that the Minutemen guarding the border in California has. The Tibetans don’t want their nation to become Chinese and the Californians don’t want their state becoming Mexican. Tibet is anti-immigration.
I don’t expect a wiener like Alex Pappademas to grasp a concept that sophisticated especially when he’s writing for the New York Times but pretending The Beastie Boys were always do-gooders is downright unethical.
In the obit he penned for Adam Yauch, we’re told Licensed to Ill was a parody. The same way Norman Lear felt he created a monster when everyone fell in love with Archie Bunker, the Beastie Boys apparently hated seeing people fight for their right to party. Alex says the next album Paul’s Boutique was made to “bewilder their meathead fan base that took their debut’s ironic misogyny and violence at face value.” Come the fuck on. Do you honestly expect us to believe that Licensed to Ill was an art project? Yauch was 22 when that album came out. It was more like a fart project.
This is the band that four years previous created the hardcore anthem “Egg Raid on Mojo” about the time they attacked legendary New York bouncer Mojo with eggs. They weren’t playing a role. They were playing. Isn’t that what kids are supposed to do?
To call all this bullshit is total bullshit and it’s very offensive to those of us in the meathead community. We liked that album. We think an inflatable penis is funny and spraying beer on people is fun. I’ve heard the Beastie Boys pooh pooh this shit before and the only time it doesn’t sound like a lie is when they admit they were really like that but now regret it. Even Alex falters when rewriting history and says, “The fact that they’d been unrepentant knuckleheads made their transformation into repentant knuckleheads seem heroic.” I thought you said they were only pretending.
The obit goes on to blether endlessly about Yauch’s feminism and all the great stuff the band did for women without mentioning the part where the second the record execs said, “Lose the chick,” Kate Schellenbach was under the bus. She didn’t even know she was fired until she ran into them on the street wearing the three matching track suits Rick Rubin bought them. Was all this also and act of ironic misogyny?
Anyway, I’m not here to shit on the guy after he died. He accomplished a lot and made some great music. I just don’t like to see wimpy liberals whitewashing what many of us see as the best part of the Beastie Boys: When they were assholes.
Shooting Madonna’s tits with a water pistol was a parody of the wet t-shirt contests that were being used to stone women to death in Saudi Arabia at the time.
Fucking that chick from The Bangles was a comment on the shackles of slavery all women are forced to wear from birth because, as Lennon himself put it, “women are the niggers of the world.”
The cage she is dancing in symbolizes the prison of sexuality we lock women into. The gigantic beer and dick show how interchangeable the two are because, uh, they’re both penis-shaped or something.
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