Posted by
Mark Derian
• 03.26.13 11:00 am


Adria Richards: As a Jewish black female, she has rights coming out of her ass.

I’ve never liked the word “rights.”

“Gay” rights, “women’s” rights, “black” rights, and “Latino” rights have all struck a dissonant chord with me, like a cat walking on a piano. These qualifiers imply one group must have more rights than another group—or, in other words, for one group to have rights, they must pillage the rights of another group. It’s what’s known as a “zero-sum game.” Since most minority-rights groups have become political factions, pillaging is usually how they operate.

As a white male, though, it’s difficult for me to criticize these minority-based qualifiers because I’m a white male. I’m not even gay, which is a real dick in the mouth, especially in this situation because I feel gagged, unable to speak. It’s difficult to get away with criticizing a group when you’re also fond of oppressing them, or so goes the narrative.

Thankfully, the abomination that is the men’s-rights movement is picking up steam. As a white man, I am culturally permitted to openly criticize this group, and in doing so, I have a foothold from which I can then criticize minority-rights groups without coming off as a complete racist, bigot, and sexist.

No story better demonstrates the lameness of the men’s-rights movement than the kerfuffle surrounding a black Jewish feminist Adria Richards and two men who made allegedly inappropriate jokes somewhere. If you haven’t heard about it, this article sums up the predicament well:

It all started at a conference devoted to Python [a programming language]. Developer evangelist Adria Richards heard a couple of guys behind her making sexual cracks about big dongles and “forking repos,” and, in a moment of frustration, called them out on Twitter, posting their picture and CCing the conference organizers.

One of the guys was shortly thereafter fired. Today, after an Internet uproar that spilled over into a DDOS attack on her employer SendGrid, Ms. Richards has also been firedpublicly.

I’m not sure what “dongles and forking repos” is. If that’s tech-y nerd terminology I’m proud to not know what it is. But I’m guessing it has something to do with dicks and sexual intercourse.

If you know the methodology of any organization that feels the need to qualify the word “right,” you won’t be surprised that the men’s-rights movement has come to these two guys’ defense, calling it “unfair” that they were fired. These men’s-rights activists may as well be chicks. Anybody who describes himself as an activist may as well be a chick, and anybody who uses the word “fair” as if it’s an important word may as well be a chick.

Of course, as a man, I think all dick jokes and sex jokes are hilarious. But that doesn’t mean a company cannot fire you for telling them. If sex jokes are not a part of a company’s culture, then the CEO would have every right to fire Andrew Dice Clay. It’s your job as the leader—not just of a company, but a culture—to expediently and unapologetically discharge anybody who does not fall in line with that culture.

If a dude shows up to work in a dress, and cross-dressing isn’t a part of the company’s culture, then he should be fired. Maybe it’s unfair (waah!), but if that dude really feels the need to be in a dress, then he’ll just have to work elsewhere—a co-op coffee shop in Portland, for example.

If a guy feels the need to be open about his homosexuality at work, and homosexuality has nothing to do with the company’s culture, then that guy should be fired. The CEO may even be in favor of “gay” rights, but first and foremost he has a culture to protect.

As if being a men’s-rights activist wasn’t gay enough, a few of them have created the Feminist Victims Fund, which collects money for men like the two “dongles” jokesters who are fired or sued because they don’t fall in line with feminist doctrine—a feminist doctrine that is “dangerous” to speak out against, to use their word.

I cannot roll my eyes hard enough over here.

“Dangerous”? The only danger is living your life thinking an opposing ideology is dangerous, while rationalizing every whiny, victim-y impulse your father failed to beat out of you. Adria Richards may be a hypersensitive idiot (most feminists are), but let’s spare ourselves the embarrassment of extrapolating this instance into a cultural war. Especially since it’s this extrapolation that bothers us about feminists in the first place.

I’ve been scoffing at the politics of gays, women, blacks, and Latinos for a while, but my scoffs have always been criticized as out-of-touch, as if I was Donald Trump Jr. telling a Cuban refugee to pull himself up by his bootstraps. But now that there are men’s-rights groups I can laugh at, I can transpose my laughter to all minority rights groups without coming off as a privileged white man. Now, I’m a privileged white man with maybe a modicum of principle, too.

 

—MARK DERIAN

 


Comments
  1. LOL says:

    Is this another one of those ‘edgy’ internet blogs where white males tell minorities what to be offended about?

  2. Jus sayin' says:

    Hey. I thought this was gonna be a post about black-jewish-feminism. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

  3. Twalsh says:

    @LOL – They’re edgy internet blogs where white males tell minorities what to be offended about?

    Good deal – should I just google “edgy white male internet blogs” or can you provide links?

  4. Twalsh says:

    Typo – There are.

  5. pantagruel says:

    the only people who use ‘white’ as an insult are white people. it’s probably the whitest thing you can do besides maybe listening to the dirty projectors

  6. Ecgtheow says:

    Wasn’t Wayne LaPierre recently described as an old white man living in the past? Is it b/c he hates Ethno-techno music?

  7. nanoo nanoo technology says:

    i like how you switched it around so it was an “exercise” instead of you just being a cunt.

  8. Clovis says:

    It just occurred to me that both feminists and MRAs are trying to re-claim their manhood. Richards had it coming. She was a pox on the tech community. Both men and women find her to be despicable. Her only supporters are sycophantic metrosexuals in butt scrunching jeans and lightweight feminist women who think that we’re living in something like the Victorian era where even the tamest vulgarity was too much for precious female ears. I fully support brassy modern broads who don’t blanche at the sound of a little cock talk.

  9. An important point, it seems to me, is that she was eavesdropping. It’s not like the comments were directed at her, or part of a meeting that she was attending — whatever happened to “Mind your own fucking business?” I understand the point about not becoming whiny little bitches as a way of fighting the whiny little bitches of the world, but it ignores the insidious nature of these victim movements. They claim greater and greater space until they are inflicting their values on the “dominant” group. The feminist movement stopped being about equal rights for women a long time ago and is now about wiping out anything vaguely associated with being male eg competitive sports, fighting, strip clubs, and replacing it with a female aesthetic. You can ignore them but you do so at the risk of waking up one day in a world where everyone is legally required to wear a dress or speak ebonics..

  10. Clovis says:

    Another important point is that she made a dick joke on her very public twitter feed the morning of the incident. What kind of psychopathic creep expects to flaunt that level of hypocrisy without getting called out?

  11. JM says:

    – The guys were talking amongst themselves, and the joke they made was tame enough to be broadcast on network primetime television.

    – Richards herself made a joke that was equally tame/equally dependent on sexual innuendo at that very same conference, except she posted it on twitter, publicly. Surely, by her own logic, if the joke the men made is grounds for firing, then so is hers.

    – However, what I think got under everybody’s skin about this was not as much the beef that Richards’ had with the men, or the action she took against them, or the feminist ideology that motivated Richards to do what she did. It was the fact that the men in question actually got FUCKING FIRED over a FUCKING joke that just so happened to be eavesdropped upon by the wrong person at the wrong time. Guy has 3 kids. If you make an innocuous joke in private to a friend, and offend someone over it, and then can’t resolve the issue with a simple apology, then we’re all fucked. It’s the same deal with that fat chick that got fired for taking a picture with her giving the finger at arlington cemetery, or that espn guy that tweeted “chink in the armor” in reference to some chink basketball player…the knee-jerk move to FIRE people–to take away their fucking LIVELIHOOD and thus fuck up their life for at least a few solid months–all for essentially doing nothing more than expressing an impure thought and making someone momentarily “uncomfortable” (not threatening someone, not physically assaulting someone, just makin ’em feel icky for a minute), is as disturbing a trend as any in our hyper-corporatized, image-obbsessed, PC paranoid culture. That’s what I think of a lot of the ire towards richards is really about. It’s about punishing these uptight assholes who think their claim to always feel nurtured and safe is more important than someone’s claim to work a job and get paid a living wage without having to stop and think before saying anything, at all, in private or otherwise.


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