Adria Richards: As a Jewish black female, she has rights coming out of her ass.
I’ve never liked the word “rights.”
“Gay” rights, “women’s” rights, “black” rights, and “Latino” rights have all struck a dissonant chord with me, like a cat walking on a piano. These qualifiers imply one group must have more rights than another group—or, in other words, for one group to have rights, they must pillage the rights of another group. It’s what’s known as a “zero-sum game.” Since most minority-rights groups have become political factions, pillaging is usually how they operate.
As a white male, though, it’s difficult for me to criticize these minority-based qualifiers because I’m a white male. I’m not even gay, which is a real dick in the mouth, especially in this situation because I feel gagged, unable to speak. It’s difficult to get away with criticizing a group when you’re also fond of oppressing them, or so goes the narrative.
Thankfully, the abomination that is the men’s-rights movement is picking up steam. As a white man, I am culturally permitted to openly criticize this group, and in doing so, I have a foothold from which I can then criticize minority-rights groups without coming off as a complete racist, bigot, and sexist.
No story better demonstrates the lameness of the men’s-rights movement than the kerfuffle surrounding a black Jewish feminist Adria Richards and two men who made allegedly inappropriate jokes somewhere. If you haven’t heard about it, this article sums up the predicament well:
It all started at a conference devoted to Python [a programming language]. Developer evangelist Adria Richards heard a couple of guys behind her making sexual cracks about big dongles and “forking repos,” and, in a moment of frustration, called them out on Twitter, posting their picture and CCing the conference organizers.
I’m not sure what “dongles and forking repos” is. If that’s tech-y nerd terminology I’m proud to not know what it is. But I’m guessing it has something to do with dicks and sexual intercourse.
If you know the methodology of any organization that feels the need to qualify the word “right,” you won’t be surprised that the men’s-rights movement has come to these two guys’ defense, calling it “unfair” that they were fired. These men’s-rights activists may as well be chicks. Anybody who describes himself as an activist may as well be a chick, and anybody who uses the word “fair” as if it’s an important word may as well be a chick.
Of course, as a man, I think all dick jokes and sex jokes are hilarious. But that doesn’t mean a company cannot fire you for telling them. If sex jokes are not a part of a company’s culture, then the CEO would have every right to fire Andrew Dice Clay. It’s your job as the leader—not just of a company, but a culture—to expediently and unapologetically discharge anybody who does not fall in line with that culture.
If a dude shows up to work in a dress, and cross-dressing isn’t a part of the company’s culture, then he should be fired. Maybe it’s unfair (waah!), but if that dude really feels the need to be in a dress, then he’ll just have to work elsewhere—a co-op coffee shop in Portland, for example.
If a guy feels the need to be open about his homosexuality at work, and homosexuality has nothing to do with the company’s culture, then that guy should be fired. The CEO may even be in favor of “gay” rights, but first and foremost he has a culture to protect.
As if being a men’s-rights activist wasn’t gay enough, a few of them have created the Feminist Victims Fund, which collects money for men like the two “dongles” jokesters who are fired or sued because they don’t fall in line with feminist doctrine—a feminist doctrine that is “dangerous” to speak out against, to use their word.
I cannot roll my eyes hard enough over here.
“Dangerous”? The only danger is living your life thinking an opposing ideology is dangerous, while rationalizing every whiny, victim-y impulse your father failed to beat out of you. Adria Richards may be a hypersensitive idiot (most feminists are), but let’s spare ourselves the embarrassment of extrapolating this instance into a cultural war. Especially since it’s this extrapolation that bothers us about feminists in the first place.
I’ve been scoffing at the politics of gays, women, blacks, and Latinos for a while, but my scoffs have always been criticized as out-of-touch, as if I was Donald Trump Jr. telling a Cuban refugee to pull himself up by his bootstraps. But now that there are men’s-rights groups I can laugh at, I can transpose my laughter to all minority rights groups without coming off as a privileged white man. Now, I’m a privileged white man with maybe a modicum of principle, too.