Posted by
• 11.09.12 10:06 am

Some guy just went to jail for making a shitty YouTube video and none of you give a shit. What happened? 

During the election, New York City was filled with these fairweather faggots pretending they care about politics and Instagramming their ballots before they peaced out for another four years. They elected a guy because he’s cool and couldn’t care less what he does to them.

Now some clown does a stupid video that makes inbred lunatics angry and we get mad at HIM? Why? Because people got angry? These assholes get mad when a burqa doesn’t go down far enough. Who gives a shit what they think?  Christians got mad at Piss Christ and that Virgin Mary made out of shit. Those artists had probably smoked a joint that week. Should we throw them in jail? What happened to this country? Is America’s new motto “Tread on Me”?

You all know the state went after him because of the video and AFTER that didn’t stick, they dug around until some ridiculous parole violation popped up. We have all done worse crimes than a parole violation this year. Shit, you don’t even know the laws you’ve broken. And has anyone here NOT made a shitty YouTube video? We’ve got 65 million Americans with a criminal record hanging over them like a Sword of Damocles. That’s 1 in 5 people who could be thrown in jail if the government deems them offensive. The Nazis would be proud. Shit, I wouldn’t be surprised if Joseph Goebbels himself was an Obama fan.

Oh look. He IS!

 Dear Barack Obama (A Letter From Joseph Goebbels)

I realize receiving a letter from a time traveler can be confusing, and you may believe this is some kind of a prank. To verify my time-traveling skills, I have enclosed within this envelope a tuft of white hair from a man of African descent. It is yours and it’s from the floor of your favorite barbershop ten years from now, by which point you will appear to be much older than 61. Please have it carbon-dated after verifying the DNA. Shocking, yes?

I’m here to tell you something. In short: I am impressed.

As a propagandist, you have achieved everything I set out to do. You soared to victory this week like a Bundesadler in a Leni Riefenstahl film. I’m amazed der Juden and der junge are so devoted to your cause, as it seems you are determined to extinguish both. But what really impresses me is the blind faith with which more than half of America follows you. These are people who couldn’t care less about politics, yet somehow they are in a trance. Why? Because you promised them you care. Amazing. An entire generation of young men stand proudly behind you simply because you play basketball. And you’re not even good at it!

“You made politics about pop culture and fashion, and now the Dumb Community worships you.”

In New York, an American state that hasn’t voted for a Republican presidential candidate in almost 30 years, people flocked to the polls and insisted their friends do the same. I saw them tell their friends they felt “empowered” and that they were “real, true Americans.” When you won, New Yorkers all over the city cheered with glee despite having no idea about your policies. I asked many of them to distinguish between your opponent’s healthcare program and yours, and they had no idea. All they knew was their vote “made a difference” and “that’s what counts.” These are people with the math skills of a 12-year-old. You made an entire nation love you merely because you were black while claiming you were hated for precisely that reason. You are the most brilliant Negro I have ever seen.

After all but allowing an attack on your Libyan consulate you sent out a spokesperson denying such an event existed, and it worked. Instead of talking to world leaders you go on women’s talk shows. When unemployment soars, you say it would have gone much higher without you. You kill the space program and devote the resources to making Muslims feel better about themselves. MUSLIMS!? Isn’t America at war with a great number of them? You tell those disgusting Zionists to go back to the borders of nearly half a century ago and when they protest, you add that they must leave Iran alone. (This was my favorite part, BTW—I must have gone back and watched this 100 times.)

You convinced antiwar liberals that it’s OK to extend the Patriot Act AND do warrantless spying AND create a “kill list” AND conduct drone wars AND send a massive surge of new troops to Afghanistan AND keep Guantanamo despite promising the opposite. Then your propaganda machine convinces the country it’s your opponent who is the warmonger.

When you dig the deepest debt any president ever has, you say it had to be done. The nation’s young people will inherit this debt but you’ve convinced them that they don’t need to care. I’m about to go back in time and kill my kids, but you make me feel like a pussy. Imagine the Schadenfreude I feel when I hear adolescents call someone with twice as many Harvard degrees as you “stupid.” You control more young minds than that Ronald McDonald character.

(obviously “continues” means it’s the second page. If you want to post the link use this)


  1. CAM'RON says:


  2. Jesus says:

    The last defense of your conservatism is to write a fake letter from a NAZI about a propaganda machine. If your argument relies on so many fallacies and gimmicks right off the bat; you’ve already lost man.

    Take the L son. Keep making awesome commercials about pissing yourself and make your money. Good luck to you. In Obama’s america you’re still going to make the same shitty advertisement campaigns you would have made in a Romney or Paul or Johnson America.

  3. ??? says:

    Haha!! You lost! Nananananaaaana!

  4. comic book guy. says:

    “You made an entire nation love you merely because you were black while claiming you were hated for precisely that reason.”

    This is just a straight up, race baiting, bullshit lie. Wanna know what Obama says when people ask him about the claim that most of his detractors don’t like him because of his race? He tells them that’s not true and to get over it:

    “[Jimmy] Carter ignited debate in September 2009 when he stated, ‘I think an overwhelming portion of the intensely demonstrated animosity toward President Barack Obama is based on the fact that he is a black man, that he is African-American.’ Obama disagreed with Carter’s assessment. On CNN Obama stated, ‘Are there people out there who don’t like me because of race? I’m sure there are…that’s not the overriding issue here.'”

    Christ! Who knew the party of real men–as opposed to “fairweather faggots”–turned into a bunch of simpering, crying, lying babies every time they lose?

  5. buncha cockshit says:

    um. dude. read the details. j-off was on parole and violated it. don’t tout this as some freedom of speech outrage. really undermines your self-righteousness. not a cute look.

  6. buncha cockshit says: is that you in the middle?

  7. humph says:

    i wish the republicans would have won because it sure is easy to blame. You think you can solve this unsolvable problem, here it’s yours now. My uncle had a theory that the republicans “couldn’t find” a good leader because they didn’t want to win in these circumstances. When everything is so fucked, let the democrats take the blame and look shitty while the republicans will wait until they can look good when the world is in a better state. Regardless of who is leader the economy/world is fucked up because there are TOO MANY PEOPLE and human nature is so fucking greedy.

  8. Anonymous says:

    The parole violation is listed above. Since when do you care about parole violations? You don’t want 12 million undocumented workers arrested but you care about parole violations? Way to cherry pick your law enforcement. It’s like the way you go from bitching about voter fraud when Bush won to talking about voter suppression when fixing fraud might hurt Obama. You don’t care about the truth.

  9. RED says:

    @comic book guy
    That’s a good point. It should say “You made an entire nation love you merely because you were black while YOUR SUPPORTERS CLAIM you were hated for precisely that reason.”

  10. Gavin says:

    This election wasn’t about a mormon republican billionaire VS a cool intellectual. It was about big government VS. smaller government. Fuck Romney. Paul Ryan was the closest we’ll ever come to having a libertarian in the White House. If you don’t want less government you are basically the blonde dude on the back of that guy’s motorbike in Mad Max.

  11. Lady friend says:

    Stick to comedy Gavin!

  12. buncha cockshit says:

    @Anonymous (can’t think of a name you cunt hair?) so i’m supposed to buy the line that this turd was some ernest citizen journalist? I’d give a shit if someone with integrity (@Gavin?) made a Muhammed movie and went to jail for it. salam alaikum to you.

  13. good old daze says:

    yeah, stick to comedy and drug talk. pussy-fart jokes and how to do cocaine in humid climates. that’s what you’re good at. just because you’re old now doesn’t mean you have to turn into this guy.

  14. Newspaper Fish Slap says:

    Keep this shit to yourself and stick to comedy. Nobody cares.

  15. Derek says:

    Can you assholes quit using the term “undocumented.” It is so fucking offensive I cringe every time I hear it. Christ fucking sakes, it’s “citizens w/ documents pending.”

  16. brooksviv says:

    My motto for this article and Gavin is “Annuit Coeptis.” All you other cunts that disapprove can start a long line at the end of my dick.

  17. humph says:

    @Gavin yes ideally small government/libertarian/maximum freedom is something intelligent people should strive for in a successful society but in an election everyone’s vote counts once. There are way more poor/unsuccessful people than rich people in the US (the 1% vs the 99%) and in a society/circumstance where poor people are unhappy/feel they’re suffering they (the majority) are going to vote for the party that best benefits them. ie. If the majority of the country worry about going broke or not be able to go to the hospital when they are sick, they will vote for a party that tries to fix that problem. When a country is unsuccessful/in recession I think it will always move to the left because at that time the majority of the voters are unsuccessful. The left are at their best/necessary when the world is bad.

  18. RED says:

    When it comes to big business VS. big government, big business is the lesser of two evils. How the government convinced young people of the opposite will always be a mystery to me. Big business tries to manipulate you into giving them money. If you don’t give big government your money, they throw you in jail.

  19. RED says:

    Also, where did people get the idea that giving the government money means they’ll help out the poor. They tiny bit that doesn’t get eaten by the administration goes to people who hustle the system. Having Paul Ryan as a VP means a freer market means more jobs means LESS poor.

  20. sucka free says:

    @gavin/RED, you clowns continually whine about ‘big government/small government,’ dont tax me, i made myself, i dont need government, wah wah wah. who do you suppose is going to pay for all of this wonderful shit that comprises this great nation we call home? the schools that your kids attend at a cost to you which is far less than what it should be, the roads you drive to get them there, the medicare that your parents likely benefit/possibly depend on (as you likely will too!) all need to be paid for somehow. the prevailing mentality, especially amongst the recently well-off (ad agency GAVIN) of a self made destiny, un-indebted to the many social and personal benefits provided by our government is total bullshit. gavin, you’re not even from here you ungrateful fool; if anywhere else has it figured out (perhaps your native CA where everyone’s as smart as you, eh?) then why dont you go ahead and fuck off there. as was mentioned above, you, and your neo-con fan boy paul for that matter, should stick to comedy.

  21. Kettle Pot says:

    Ron Paul likes neocons?

  22. pantagruel says:

    godwin’s law rears its head by the third paragraph

  23. A Beaver says:

    “I wish Gavin McInnes would move back home” – said no Canadian ever.

  24. Ryan says:

    I cant tell you how happy it makes me to read this article. Not happy because of its content, I am just as infuriated and outraged at this bullshit as you are. But thankful that this opinion is being voiced. I cant believe how shallow and short-sighted the american people have become. We went from a nation of independent thinkers that would bleed out for truth and freedom to a bunch of spoon-fed sheep, fattened for the slaughter on a diet of hype and lies. Keep up the good work Gavin!

  25. sucka free says:

    @kettle-ryan dipshit, its his first name. nobody gives a fuck about ron these days

  26. Pissing in their own eye sockets says:

    Great article, Gav. Keep it up. Next article paint a picture of how this big government shit works out for all these twats who think cool swearing is an intellectual argument:

  27. Hornblower's Ghost says:

    Gaven, has it occurred to you that there’s a good reason why using a false identity is a parole violation for someone who was convicted of fraud? Not to mention he engaged in fraud again during the very making of the movie by misrepresenting what the movie was to the people that made it, and is facing law suits for that itself. So he’s already shown on multiple fronts a lack of contrition for being a convicted con artist. Any parolee knows their release is conditional and that they don’t get their full set of rights back immediately, he chose to live on front street breaking the conditions of his parole with actions related to the nature of his charges. Guess what? A convicted armed robber goes back to jail, when the cops pull him over and find a gun incidentally in his car. You’re starting to sound like a knee jerk liberal.

  28. tit says:

    what Hornblower said

  29. anne-onymous says:

    I have to agree with Gavin on this, the arguements against constructed in this comment section are very weak.

  30. Jay says:

    A letter to Barack Obama…from Joseph Goebbels?! You sly satirical dog, Gavin. Some people would say that is a shit idea. Some people would be right.

  31. vincent says:

    Wow. Goebbels? I honestly can’t tell if this is a satire or if you’ve just descended into self-parody. This is a bizarre turn, it’s the politics of a 13 year old boy trying to look grown-up. Everyone is allowed to vote but not everyone should be a political commentator. Maybe take some time to look into these issues before making yourself look silly. I’m not being sarcastic. I like you as a writer and dude and this actually makes me feel embarrassed for you.

  32. lester says:

    Mitt Romney wasn’t for smaller government. any savings he would have gotten from cutting useless domestic programs would have been spent on useless defense programs.

    Ron Paul was the Guliani (ironically) who was going to put the sword in the thing and make America liveable. the Pentagon is the problem. You can’t be pro the Pentagon and pro small government when they are eating up like half of our wealth.

    “Some guy just went to jail for making a shitty YouTube video and none of you give a shit. What happened? ”

    I support free speech but I support not getting involved in Washington/ Tel Aviv’s war for empire against Muslims more. The guy should not go to jail free speech free speech yadda yadda but don’t get me involved in Washingtons battles.

    some other guy “When it comes to big business VS. big government, big business is the lesser of two evils”

    They are the same thing. literally the same people in many cases. corporatism. I’m sure Gen Patreaus had some bogus “private sector” job using his beltway contacts to secure contracts. Or he will now.

  33. Dogboy says:

    Everyone is saying that Gavin should stick to being a clown because his political analysis seems to consist of an immature rendering of third hand talking points. But I would disagree. He’s like a Shakespearen fool who pierces the hypocrisy of the elite with his witty truths. He just needs a lot of work on the wit. And the truths.

  34. Ben Gazzi says:

    Thanks for the pub run, America. I get alot of free drinks when I’m out based on name recognition.

  35. Gavin Coulter says:

    Gavin is the male Ann Coulter. Neither one actually believes the shit they say. They just say it so crudely and with inflammatory rhetoric because Fox bird brains will eat it up. And the Fox bird rains are too blinded by their infantile ideology to see that Gavin and Ann are just bullshitting them with what they want to hear. They’re like the conservative Sex Pistols. They indulge in spectacle and the asshole right wing pay them money. it’s just an added bonus that (s)he gets to anger the pussy liberal bed wetters at the same time. I mean, Gavin is a fucking Canadian(raised by socialism) and Ann Coulter is a Jerry Garcia Grateful Dead fanatic so…there you go.

  36. Gavin says:

    If it makes you feel better to assume people say things for “shock value” go bananas. The problem with that theory is you’re assuming we give a flying fuck what anyone thinks of our beliefs. I’m not out to offend you. I don’t care if you live or die.

  37. Don't Quit Your Day Job says:

    Bullshit, Gavin. Me dying doesn’t affect you. Me being offended gives you purpose. You can admit it.

  38. Vincent says:

    Er, Gavin, if you don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks about your beliefs, why are you writing them down and justifying them?

    Anyways Dogboy is right. “immature rendering of third hand talking points”

  39. brother theresa says:

    You guys still read his blog, though.

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