I don’t know what’s going on over at The Food Network but they’re missing out on an incredible opportunity. There is an awesome idea for a TV show staring them right in their dumb faces and if they don’t do shit about it, someone is gonna beat them to the punch.
The Food Network has a show where two professional chefs compete against two amateur chefs and have decided to name it “Cooks vs. Cons”. I don’t know what the hell they’re trying to pull but with a title like that, I expect to see me some convicts. Maybe they’re trying to fool people into watching another boring cooking competition show but they can’t seriously expect everyone to stay tuned, do they? It may have worked during the first season but that had to have been all DVR recordings. This second season is going to bomb, without a doubt.
Aren’t they worried about pissing viewers off by being cons themselves? That title, “Cooks vs. Cons” makes it sound like professional cooks or home cooks with inflated egos are competing against convicts. No way would I ever think the show would be about professionals competing against unprofessionals. I know there are a bunch of foodie snobs, who’ll watch anything about food, but holy fuck. Just call it something else.
It may be difficult to come up with a good name for a show but after they came up with the title, they should have made a show that fit it. They obviously think people will tune in. Who wouldn’t want to watch a bunch of convicts duking it out with a group of prissy, know it all, loudmouth chefs in the kitchen? I wouldn’t care if the convicts and chefs had their own cooking stations and were attempting to make the same dishes or, if they put a group of convicts in a kitchen with a professional chef, who had to train and keep them in order. Either way, it sounds like great TV to me.
Giving knives and all sorts of sharp utensils to a gang of criminals sounds kind of dangerous and I’m sure the insurance would be through the roof but think of all the great drama they’d have. Andy Cohen and his grip of House Wives would be losing their shit over how much more intense “Cooks vs. Convicts” was. It would have all the cattiness of women’s reality TV and the brutality of men’s shows, like LockUp. The advertising would cover the insurance and there are more than enough convicts and annoying chefs in this country, they wouldn’t have a problem replacing the casualties.
It could be some sort of work release program they do with prisoners, who’re getting out of jail soon. That way, the convicts would be less inclined to stab each other and the chef. The show would probably be even more entertaining if it were inside the jail with prisoners who were serving lifelong sentences, though. That shit would be must see TV. They could have prison guards standing watch and telling the chef what he can and can’t do. Maybe even keep the prisoners in their shackles. I’m starting to get pissed this show doesn’t already exist.
Someone over there has to get their shit together. I need to see chefs sharing tight quarters and screaming insults at men, who have killed before and spend all day lifting weights. This must be on TV. There is no excuse for it not to be and the longer The Food Network waits, the longer I won’t watch their shitty channel.