WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING WITH YOUR MAID? SHE DUSTS YOUR WIFE’S PLAYTEX.
Arnold Schwarzenegger and his maid mistress
I think the phrase “Don’t shit where you eat” can apply to a number of circumstances, but it makes particular sense when it comes to sleeping with the help. I see the pros behind sexing whatever is closest to you, but I’m telling you not to do it. I’m giving you some insight here: It isn’t going to work out. You have to keep some distance between the woman you’re married to and the one you’re sleeping with; assuming those are different women, they shouldn’t live in the same house.
Basically: WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING WITH YOUR MAID? SHE DUSTS YOUR WIFE’S PLAYTEX.
So, why do dudes diddle the help? Is it because dudes like to diddle? I needed some insight, so I consulted the Internet. Actually, I consulted some kind of women’s website that came up when I Googled “who do men cheat with.” It turns out men cheat because of “boredom” and / or “biological impulse.” But what’s the top reason?
1. She ain’t what she used to be.
Like Adam, the typical man can’t resist the temptation of riper fruit, especially if the woman in his life has let herself go.
I like that they confused Adam with Eve. I guess it’s true because it’s on this website, but in all the high profile celeb cheater stories, the guys are sleeping with a fatter, uglier, sometimes older woman. The point is: She isn’t the wife.
Jude Law cheated on Sienna Miller with their nanny
Jude Law’s nanny mistress
I kept reading. The second reason that men cheat is because women are like mosquitoes.
2. No one loves a ball buster.
Perhaps nothing will drive a married man into the arms of another woman faster than a nagging wife. “She’s like a mosquito,” Santagati says. “He doesn’t want to have sex with her; he wants to [swat her away].”
Their expert, Santagati, has more advice: “Once we’ve seen a woman naked several times, it becomes commonplace. It doesn’t matter if you’re Jessica Alba or Sienna Miller, we become accustomed to your body and want to experience something different — different lips, different body types. We’re only monogamous because we realize that love and friendship are more important than getting laid.”
Are love and friendship more important than getting laid? COMMENT BOX.
Men, on the other hand, are “cavemen who play with fire,” which is good because, “By keeping surprise and sizzle in your sex life, a woman can keep the home fires burning so hot that her man won’t have any reason to cheat.” KEEP THOSE HOME FIRES BURNING SO HOT. Men are not only cavemen, but “hunter gathers.” This means they want to “hunt and gather women.” I’ll take that.
Then they have the part that makes you nervous if you’re a married woman. As if listening to Santagati’s take on things wasn’t shit enough, “Thanks to the Internet, it’s easier for men to cheat anytime, anywhere… while they’re watching TV or on the laptop in bed next to their sleeping wives” — or having sex with the maid in their bastard child’s bed while their wife is sleeping.
The article goes out on a depressive note, saying there’s nothing women can do about it. They do offer a fun “WILL HE CHEAT? RATE THE RISK” quiz at the end, which is sort of a consolation.
Arnold’s illegitimate son