Posted by
Peter Madsen
• 06.15.09 03:51 pm


Hyperventilating makes Junior High funner but parents hate it because it occasionally kills you. Ever do it? It’s where a buddy makes you pass out for a second by holding you in a full nelson. You’ll remember the ounce of euphoria


DAMEN DIETSMANN, SOUTHWEST PHILADELPHIA

Hyperventilating makes Junior High funner but parents hate it because it occasionally kills you. Ever do it? It’s where a buddy makes you pass out for a second by holding you in a full nelson. You’ll remember the ounce of euphoria you felt somewhere between the dizziness and the fainting. OK, so if we add that feeling to the sensation of ejaculating, we shouldn’t be so shocked and appalled by the recent death of David Carradine. According to an ex-wife, Carradine had been choking himself while jerking off for quite a while now. In honor of Carradine and his senior fans, and because people are unfairly acting as if this is the most embarrassing way to die, I’m going to interview long-haired dudes who look older than me about AEA.

DAMEN: I don’t really follow the news too much, especially if it’s about something in the negative. Obviously I heard about Mr. Carradine’s death. The way I see it, you should look back on the person’s work and what they did. I’m not really sure if they figured out what actual cause of death was. I heard some negative things—suicide was mentioned. Life is what it is. You live it, and that guy lived it and did well. Let’s just hope that positive things can come from it and let’s hope that nobody’s fighting over his estate.

Me (Peter): What possible causes of death are being explored in the case?

I like said, I’m really new when it comes to news. I’m a comedian, but I don’t really do humor on death or anything negatively-related. I read something on the internet that said it was suicide, and then something later that said suicide was being disputed.

A couple of his former wives have come out and said he was into autoerotic asphyxiation.

Yeah, yeah. It’s that sexual fetish stuff. Like I said, I read a little about it, but–

–Is this something you’ve ever encountered?

You mean have I heard about it in life? Yeah, of course. It’s a fetish. I mean, people do a lot of weird stuff. You could do it on a minor level, like you have a girlfriend who’s a little bit freaky, and maybe, you know, she choked me or something like that. You know, you just do it a little bit. Some people take it to another level and they use ropes and stuff like that.

David Carradine had a rope or shoelace tied around his neck and his balls.

That might be good evidence [chuckles nervously].

What’s the strangest thing you’ve encountered personally or via word of mouth about getting one’s rocks off? Have you ever tried autoerotic asphyxiation?

Never myself, no. Years back I heard a high school kid died from it. That’s really just been my education on the thing. It doesn’t seem safe. Obviously, Mr. Carradine was a pretty smart guy to have accomplished all the things he did. You know, if he died that way, he didn’t really go out with a bang.

That was funny.

You know, so to speak. Sometimes you gotta think about how you have to enjoy your time while you’re here because you can never predict how you’re gonna go and how it’s going to be. You know, you could be the strongest thug—you could actually be a killer. There’s a guy in my neighborhood, years back, who killed another guy that we knew—he shot him to death. Everybody knew he did it—he almost kind of bragged about it. The murder couldn’t be proven—all the court stuff was finalized and all that, but he had that following him around, that he was a killer. And then one day he took a lot of drugs, like he was smoking wet or angel dust or whatever—a lot of guys in my neighborhood take a lot of downers like Percocet, Xanax, all of that–and he was playing full-contact football with no pads when he got tackled. Well, he hit his head pretty good and it hemorrhaged his brain pretty good and he died.

Do you think it’s a matter of fate or karma?

Could be if you look at it that way. But you know, the slimiest, greasiest person can slide through life and everything will be easy and laid out for them all smooth. I don’t know, man. We don’t really know what’s going on in the world—it’s a strange place.

Do you think autoerotic asphyxiation and other stuff like that is stigmatized in our society?

Um, well you know, whatever you’re into is whatever you’re into. If you’re into regular, traditional sex, you expect people to respect that, but then some people are into other stuff, so you should respect that the same way. You know, as long as it doesn’t involve anything illegal or something that is going to injury somebody permanently. But for instance if there’s a girl who has a pain fetish who likes to be slapped around—if that’s how she gets her pleasure, you really can’t deny that person.

A lot of autoerotic asphyxiation cases that result in accidental death are unfairly ruled as a suicide, People around David Carradine said that he seemed to be in a good mood right before he was found dead, yet they won’t acknowledge what he was pretty clearly doing.

Yeahs, It’s probably something where he didn’t mean to do it—it just got out of hand.

You’re on a roll. What’s the most dangerous thing you’ve done alone in room?

There are numerous instances in which I took hallucinogenic substances that were stronger than I thought they would be—I think every person goes through that point in their life. Nothing too bad, but I used to trip a lot when I was alone in high school.

Did you ever end up naked on your roof, preaching to your neighbors about God?

No, I didn’t do nothing too crazy like that. I had a cousin though who took PCP and LSD together and he was with a bunch of friends. I guess he started acting a little wacky and they were like, “Yo, you’re on your own, dude.” He was at this church in my neighborhood and he stripped off his clothes, jewelry—all his material items–and he walked through my neighborhood naked. Eventually the cops found him directing traffic in his Scooby-Doo socks. Now, imagine if you’re one of the cops—it’s not like they’re jumping up and down like, “I got this!” I can’t imagine how that would work. Did they draw straws? One cop took the helm and approached my cousin—who’s skinnier than me—and got punched in the mouth, got his lip split open. Thankfully, my grandmother had a lot of political pull because she did a lot for the city, and I think that helped him out a lot. He still got sentenced, but after that he went to a rehab and everything ended up working out. He’s gotten his things together since. He’s got kids now and a good job.

-PETER MADSEN


Comments
  1. WORLD WAR DREW says:

    I dont have a youtube account. whats the most embarassing way to die?

  2. too S$hort says:

    all comedians are the craziest, most annoying people you can meet — they have no idea what they’re talking about but they’re positive you want to listen to them riff.

  3. too S$hort says:

    “He’s got kids now and a good job”

    wow the ceiling is pretty low.

  4. Frank DeFalco says:

    I’ll say it: Too Long!

  5. Frank DeFalco says:

    these are straying further away from “guerrilla interview” and getting closer to “asking working class people about jerking off” with every post.

  6. bob "only play dis at night" barker says:

    if you really want to have a good time while wanking a choking add pop rocks and cola to the mix. next level shit, trust.

  7. bob "only play dis at night" barker says:

    its funny when the people on SBTC have a bit of sense when they talk. its almost going into a weird reflected loop where normal sense talking people seem funny when they shouldnt be when the are place into the context of social chaos.

  8. Kennedy says:

    If this Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation shit is so awesome, I’ve got to try it. You should too. Just don’t do it alone. I’ll spot you if you spot me, cool?

  9. Devils Advocate says:

    I like to get drunk and then perform auto-erotic asphyxiation. Its great.

    I also like to drink and drive motorcycles and drink and play with firearms.

    Those ideas are free.

  10. Devils Advocate says:

    for a comedian this guy is surprisingly not funny

  11. Drippy Dog Dix and Cum Bubbles or something says:

    Smarmy.

  12. Dork says:

    What do you think about this?

    Whatever.

    Repeat again and again.

  13. one guy says:

    this is actually kind of interesting

  14. [...] talked to this yahoo about autoerotic asphixiation for Street Carnage before hopping back on the bus to New [...]


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