Posted by
Jim Goad
• 02.28.14 09:30 am

Someone sent me this email last night:

Subject: Jimmy, I’m drunk. These are my words.
From: *****
Date: Fri, February 28, 2014 12:50 am

Fuck you, Jim Goad. You fuckin asshole. I’m listening to Waylon Jennings
right now. You fucker. You white trash piece of shit. You’re right about so
many things. I hate your ofay ass you paddy shit smear. I read your book. I
know the real shit. I know nothing, but hell, whats the point of denying

You, Goad. You goad. Putting me in my poor white place. You racist.
*We*racist. The fuck’s it matter? Time is a flat circle, you know. Buy
a TV.

Buy a chromecast and watch shit you download on a big HD screen. Shit, I’ll
buy you a chromecast with my dirty Obama loan money and mail it to your
sorry redneck ass. TV is shit. Except for *some* real shit. Stories are
philosophy to the intelligent and junk food for fools. You get out what you
put in.

Fuck you, Goad. How many Old Milwaukees do I have to drink? How many chicks
do I have to want to fuck before I break up with my girlfriend? How much do
I have to hate my 9-fingered liberal-progressive IWSB ethics professor
before I punch him in the cock and forfeit my degree?

Fuck you, Goad. For feeling the burn. For living in the poor integrated
areas I grew up in and live in now. Fuck you for driving me to bust my ass
to bring myself into the exploitative class. Fuck you. You bald asshole.

I’m not done. I’m not enough Old Milwaukees in. I’ll write for *Street
Carnage*. Tell McInnes I graduate in July. Tell no one shit. Don’t be a
rat. *Don’t break the rules*.

I’m good at busting my ass. Especially if I give half a shit about what I’m
doing. Let me write shit, video shit, or think up shit. I’ll do it for a
dime if 9 cents will pay for my bed. I’ll bum smokes while I look for
ditches to dig on the side. I’ll tell the boss whatever he wants to hear.

*”Love your tie today, sir. You’re a fellow who has lots of sex with
becoming ladies, I can tell.”*

Jesus. Listen to me.

I could go on and on. But this is what I’m going with. Keep up the work,
Goad. You’re as inspiring as you are white.

– Jack

  1. fake123 says:

    by the way Jim/Gavin: part of the reason why commenting on Street Carnage is so much worse than in the Jim Goad group is that you cannot embed videos/images/articles properly or with thumbnails. Just my to sense

  2. Russell Cooke says:

    sounds like a schizophrenic during a bad episode trying to compliment you.

  3. taylorbille says:

    A fan letter is a fan letter… even when it incoherently stumbles to the alley and bounces off the wall. I wonder what his first post on Street Carnage would look like?

  4. Richard Mongler says:

    That’s one tough train of thought to follow.

  5. Drinks Old Milwaukee. This is sad. But in America, we got upward mobility. It will get better.

  6. Father Luke says:

    The grammar errors, alone, are enough to make me want to swear off again.

  7. shimizu says:

    Pretty good cover letter if you ask me – did he attach his CV?

  8. Mr BULLSHIT says:

    I call bullshit.

  9. H. Kopp says:

    A clever resume, if a bit unrefined.

  10. Boozin' Suzan says:

    Did you email back with an address to send the chromecast? It seems like a better investment than wasting any more money on his higher education.

  11. Keith E Lee says:

    At least he got in Street Carnage.

  12. eading between the Lines says:

    ….”I could go on and on.”….

    What? You mean that up to that point he wasn’t??????

  13. Lasse says:

    “Time is a flat circle, you know.”

    Someone’s been watching True Detective:

  14. Jim Goad says:



    I decided to man up and apologize. I don’t know what I was doing, but it wasn’t cool.

    I really do appreciate your work and wish you well.

  15. Werx says:

    Chromecasts are the shit. Jus sayin.

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